Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve fluency and grammatical accuracy: remove repetitions, use correct prepositions and articles, and produce a clear topic sentence with one or two supporting details. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences). For example, say “My hometown is Omuta, a small town in Fukuoka, Japan. I like it because it has a quiet, comfortable atmosphere and feels like the countryside.”

예시: My hometown is Omuta, a small town in Fukuoka, Japan. I like it because it has a quiet, comfortable atmosphere and feels like the countryside.

제안: Be specific and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., because, so, for example). Avoid repetition. Correct subject references (e.g., “most residents are elderly”).

예시: I like the peaceful atmosphere of my hometown because most residents are elderly and very friendly. For example, neighbours often greet me and stop to chat, which makes the town feel welcoming.

제안: Use correct tense and prepositions, and sequence events clearly. Begin with a direct answer to “how long” then explain changes using linking phrases (e.g., until, then, recently). Avoid filler words.

예시: I have lived in Omuta for 18 years in total. I moved to another city to work when I was 18, but I recently returned to live in my hometown again.

제안: Answer directly and expand with clear reasons and a brief example or comparison. Use linking words (because, so, therefore) and correct verb forms (e.g., “prefer to move” or “move to the city”).

예시: No, I don't think it's ideal for young people because most jobs and universities are in the city. Therefore young people often prefer to move to the city for study or work.

× My hometown is Fukuoka in Japan. I I live in a small town called Omuta. I I like I like it because quiet and comfortable atmosphere. It's like a countryside.

✓ My hometown is Fukuoka in Japan. I live in a small town called Omuta. I like it because it has a quiet and comfortable atmosphere. It's like the countryside.

Errors: repeated words ('I I', 'I like I like') are duplications and break sentence flow; omission of subject/verb in 'because quiet and comfortable atmosphere' requires 'it has a' or similar; article use: 'a countryside' should be 'the countryside' or just 'countryside'. Suggestions: remove duplicated words, include a clear subject and verb for the clause ('it has'), and use correct article ('the countryside' or no article) to make the sentence natural and grammatical.

× I like quiet and comfortable atmosphere of my hometown because uh, they are most residents, elderly people.

✓ I like the quiet and comfortable atmosphere of my hometown because most of the residents are elderly people.

Errors: missing article before 'quiet and comfortable atmosphere' — add 'the'; awkward word order 'they are most residents' is incorrect: use 'most of the residents are'; extra filler 'uh' can be omitted. Suggestions: include necessary articles, use 'most of the residents are' to describe the population, and avoid unnecessary fillers in formal responses.

× Most residents are elderly people, so they are very friendly.

✓ Most residents are elderly people, so they are very friendly.

Original sentence is acceptable but keep as is. Explanation: 'Most residents' (plural subject) correctly uses 'are' (plural verb). No change needed. Suggestion: none, sentence is grammatically correct.

× Umm, they, they often greet me.

✓ They often greet me.

Error: duplication 'they, they' should be reduced to a single 'they'; no -ing issue actually but repetition disrupts fluency. Suggestion: remove duplicate word and avoid unnecessary fillers for clarity.

× I I have lived, uh, my hometown for 18 years.

✓ I have lived in my hometown for 18 years.

Errors: duplication 'I I'; missing preposition 'in' before 'my hometown' required with 'live'; filler 'uh' can be removed. Suggestions: remove duplicate and filler, include correct preposition 'in' to indicate location.

× When I was 18 I moved into another city to work.

✓ When I was 18, I moved to another city to work.

Errors: 'moved into another city' is not wrong but 'moved to another city' is more natural when indicating relocation; missing comma after introductory clause. Suggestions: use 'moved to' for general relocation and include a comma after 'When I was 18' for clarity.

× Umm, I recently returned to back my home.

✓ I recently returned to my home.

Errors: redundant words 'to back' should be 'returned to' or 'came back to'; 'my home' or 'home' both work. Suggestions: use 'returned to my home' or 'came back home' and remove filler 'Umm'.

× No, I don't think so. Uh, because umm, there are many elderly people.

✓ No, I don't think so because there are many elderly people.

Error: sentence fragment caused by starting a sentence with 'Because' after 'Uh,' making it disjointed. Combine into one sentence: 'I don't think so because...' Remove fillers. Suggestions: avoid starting sentences with 'because' as a fragment; attach it to main clause.

× So uh, young people prefer move to central city for study or work.

✓ So young people prefer to move to the city center to study or work.

Errors: missing infinitive marker 'to' before 'move' after 'prefer' (prefer to do something); 'central city' is unnatural—use 'city center' or 'central city' with article; 'for study or work' should be 'to study or work'. Suggestions: use 'prefer to move', 'city center', and 'to study or work' for natural phrasing; remove filler 'uh'.