Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and grammar mistakes, and give specific supporting details (one or two). Use linking words to connect ideas. Correct factual inconsistencies (Moscow does not have beaches/mountains) or clarify if you mean the region. Keep the answer to no more than 4–5 sentences.

예시: My hometown is Moscow, the capital of Russia. I like it because it combines historic landmarks, such as the Kremlin and Red Square, with modern architecture and cultural venues. Moreover, it is known for its peaceful neighborhoods and welcoming atmosphere. For these reasons, I enjoy living there.

제안: Avoid repetition and finish sentences. Give specific examples and use linking words to structure the answer (firstly, secondly, moreover). Keep it concise and correct grammatical errors (e.g., 'there are mountains,' 'perfect for hiking and picnics'). Mention one or two concrete activities or places.

예시: What I love most about my hometown is its natural scenery. For example, nearby mountains and lakes provide great opportunities for hiking and weekend picnics. In addition, locals are very friendly, which makes outdoor activities more enjoyable.

제안: Use correct tense and smoother phrasing. Begin with a clear topic sentence stating the length of time, then add 1–2 specific supporting details about memories or changes, using linking words (for example, since/over). Keep it concise and avoid slight redundancy.

예시: I've lived there all my life. Growing up, I made close friendships with my neighbors, and over the years I've seen the town modernize with new parks and shops.

제안: Clarify and complete your answer. State directly whether it is good for young people and give specific reasons or examples (e.g., recreational facilities, study or work opportunities). Avoid repetition and filler words, and finish the sentence. Use linking words like 'because' or 'also'.

예시: Yes, it's a good place for young people because there are sports facilities, youth clubs, and good public transport. In addition, there are many cafés and cultural events that appeal to young adults.

× I like it because it's a combination of modern of historical places and modern buildings.

✓ I like it because it's a combination of historical places and modern buildings.

The phrase 'combination of modern of historical places' repeats the preposition 'of' and misorders adjectives. Use 'combination of X and Y' and place adjectives before the nouns: 'historical places' and 'modern buildings'. Remove the extra 'of' and 'modern' before 'of'.

× It's famous for its peace and welcoming.

✓ It's famous for its peacefulness and welcoming atmosphere.

'Peace' is a noun but the intended meaning is the quality 'peacefulness' or 'peaceful nature'. 'Welcoming' is an adjective and needs a noun to modify, e.g. 'welcoming atmosphere'. Change nouns/adjectives to fit grammatical roles.

× In addition, it has a wonderful landscape such as beautiful beaches and mountain.

✓ In addition, it has a wonderful landscape with beautiful beaches and mountains.

Use 'with' to list features of a landscape. 'Such as' can introduce examples but requires plural agreement: 'mountain' should be 'mountains' to match 'beaches'. Using 'with' plus plural nouns is clearer.

× What I love most about my hometown is the amazing amazing nature that it has.

✓ What I love most about my hometown is the amazing nature it has.

Avoid accidental repetition ('amazing amazing'). Also remove the redundant relative pronoun 'that' after 'nature' when concise phrasing is better: 'the amazing nature it has' or 'the amazing nature of it'.

× It has a beach and it has a beach and the mountain, the weather or nature there is perfect for outdoor activities like hiking and picnic.

✓ It has beaches and mountains; the weather and natural scenery there are perfect for outdoor activities like hiking and picnics.

Avoid repeating 'it has a beach' twice. Use plural 'beaches' and 'mountains' if more than one. 'Weather or nature' is unclear; use 'weather and natural scenery'. Match plural noun agreement: 'are perfect'. 'Picnic' should be plural 'picnics' when listing activities.

× In addition, people there are friendly and

✓ In addition, people there are friendly.

The sentence was left incomplete. Finish the sentence; here the simplest correction is to end with 'friendly'. If you want to add more, complete the idea (e.g., 'friendly and helpful').

× I live all my life there.

✓ I have lived there all my life.

Use the present perfect 'have lived' to express an action that began in the past and continues to the present. Also place 'all my life' after the verb for natural word order.

× I grew up and have good childhood memories.

✓ I grew up there and have good childhood memories.

Add the adverb 'there' after 'grew up' to indicate place. 'Grew up' is past; 'have good childhood memories' uses present perfect which is acceptable. Alternatively, 'and had good childhood memories' could be used but keeping 'have' is fine to indicate ongoing possession of memories.

× I know all my neighbors and also I have lovely friends there.

✓ I know all my neighbors, and I also have lovely friends there.

Insert a comma before the conjunction and place 'also' after the subject or before the verb for natural word order: 'I also have' or 'I have ... there'. This corrects word order rather than pronoun error but fits guidance to fix misuse of connectors and pronoun placement.

× I noticed how my country, our hometown changed and developed since I was a child.

✓ I have noticed how my country and our hometown have changed and developed since I was a child.

Use present perfect 'have noticed' and 'have changed' to describe changes from the past until now. Also separate 'country' and 'our hometown' with 'and' (not a comma) to clarify the two items. Maintain subject-verb agreement with plural subject 'my country and our hometown' taking 'have'.

× It's good for both for young people and old people.

✓ It's good for both young people and old people.

Remove the extra 'for' after 'both'. The correct structure is 'both X and Y' possibly preceded by 'for'.

× It has it has a lot of of pulling that is built for old people to to go there, enjoy their time, meet their friends, and also for young people to practice

✓ It has a lot of places built for older people to go, enjoy their time, and meet friends, and also areas for young people to exercise.

Remove repeated words ('It has it has', 'of of', 'to to'). 'Pulling' is incorrect—likely intended 'places' or 'facilities'. Use 'older people' rather than 'old people' for politeness. Complete the final clause: 'to practice' is incomplete; use 'to exercise' or 'to practice sports'. Ensure parallel structure when listing activities.