Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct vocabulary, fix grammar and remove redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the place, then add one or two specific details using correct words and a linking phrase. Avoid repetition and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I come from Deklak province in the Central Highlands of Vietnam. It’s a beautiful mountainous area with large evergreen forests and cool, breezy weather. Many visitors come for the scenery and traditional highland culture.

제안: Answer directly with a topic sentence, then provide specific examples and use appropriate linking words. Correct word choices (e.g., “lend a hand”) and remove filler phrases like “you know.” Keep sentences clear and grammatical.

예시: What I like most about my hometown is the people. They are very friendly and always willing to lend a hand; for example, neighbours help each other during harvest and when someone is ill.

제안: Give a direct, concise time statement first, then one brief supporting detail. Use correct tense and avoid extra words. Keep it to 1–2 sentences for clarity.

예시: I lived there for about 18 years until I left to study at university. Because I grew up there, I know the community and landscape very well and feel a strong connection to the place.

제안: Start with a clear opinion, then explain reasons with specific examples and use linking words. Avoid repetition and informal fillers. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., “industry”, “job opportunities”) and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Although I love my hometown, I don’t think it’s ideal for young people seeking careers. It’s quiet and largely agricultural with few industries or job opportunities, so many young people move to cities for work and training.

× My hometown is in Deklak province which is located in the highland central of Vietnam.

✓ My hometown is in Deklak province, which is located in the central highlands of Vietnam.

Word order and adjective form: 'highland central' is incorrect and should be 'central highlands' (noun phrase). Also add a comma before the non-restrictive relative clause 'which is located...'. Use plural 'highlands' to match common usage.'

× It is a really beautiful land with large vegetarian forest and and wind.

✓ It is a really beautiful place with large evergreen forests and strong winds.

Word choice and noun forms: 'land' is awkward; 'place' fits better. 'Vegetarian forest' is incorrect — likely 'evergreen forest' or 'dense forest'. Use plural 'forests' to match 'large'. Remove duplicate 'and'. Clarify 'wind' as 'strong winds' or 'a windy climate'.

× I think that the most thing that I love in my hometown is the people who are living in this area because you know he they are very friendly and helpful.

✓ I think the thing I love most about my hometown is the people who live in this area because they are very friendly and helpful.

Pronoun and word order problems: 'the most thing that I love' should be 'the thing I love most' (correct adjective order). 'Who are living' is awkward—use simple present 'who live'. Remove wrong pronoun 'he' and use 'they'.

× Especially they always are willing to give birth a hand and give it a hand whenever we are in trouble or need some.

✓ They are always willing to give a hand whenever we are in trouble or need help.

Wrong verbs and phrases: 'give birth a hand' and 'give it a hand' are incorrect. Use the idiom 'give a hand' or 'lend a hand'. 'Need some' is incomplete—use 'need help'. Also place adverb 'always' after subject or before main verb for natural word order: 'They are always willing...'.

× While I was born and raised in my hometown, so I think the total time is about 18 years old until I go to university for studying that that was such a long time that I can understand and I love my hometown.

✓ I was born and raised in my hometown, so I lived there for about 18 years until I went to university; that was long enough for me to understand and love my hometown.

Tense and structure problems: 'While I was born and raised' is incorrect—use simple past 'I was born and raised'. 'Total time is about 18 years old' is wrong; say 'lived there for about 18 years'. Match past tense 'went' to 'until I went to university'. Remove duplicate 'that' and clarify 'that was long enough...' for coherence.

× Even though I really love my hometown, but I don't think that is a good place for young people to develop in terms of a career and a career in terms of career.

✓ Although I really love my hometown, I don't think it is a good place for young people to develop their careers.

Conjunction error and redundancy: Do not use 'Even though' and 'but' together; choose 'Although' or 'Even though' without 'but'. Remove redundant phrases 'in terms of a career and a career in terms of career' and use 'develop their careers'. Use 'it' as subject for 'is'.

× Because you know, in my hometown it was really quiet and not a lot of factory or industrialism.

✓ In my hometown it is really quiet and there are not many factories or much industry.

Word choice and countability: 'not a lot of factory' is incorrect; use 'not many factories'. 'Industrialism' is the wrong noun; use 'industry'. Match present tense if speaker still refers to hometown now: use 'is' and plural 'factories'.