Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce minor inaccuracies and improve clarity and conciseness. Begin with a clear topic sentence, correct place naming confusion (Georgia is usually a country/state), and avoid redundant phrases. Add one specific detail about the town to enrich the answer.

예시: My hometown is a town called Georgia in East Java, Indonesia, located just outside Surabaya. It’s a convenient place to live because of its easy access to the city and good transport links. I grew up there and still feel very connected to the community, especially because of the weekly markets and local festivals.

제안: Make sentences more natural and concise; correct awkward phrasing like “not as scary” to a more natural description (e.g., ‘less hectic’). Add a specific example of a favorite dish to make the answer more vivid.

예시: I like that my hometown is less hectic than a major city but still offers most essentials. For example, I enjoy the local cuisine—especially lontong and fresh grilled seafood at the seaside stalls, which I often eat on weekends.

제안: Clarify unclear phrases (e.g., “since I have a sport” is confusing). Give a precise time frame (years) and link it to how that time led to familiarity with the community. Fix grammar and pluralisation (neighbour -> neighbours).

예시: I have lived there for about eighteen years, so I know the area very well. Growing up in the same neighbourhood helped me form strong ties with local people and feel comfortable with my neighbours.

제안: Correct proper nouns and awkward terms (e.g., ‘Hamsung’ unclear; use the correct town name). Use natural collocations (coffee shops, shopping centers) and expand slightly on examples of institutions or activities. Mention both positives and limitations succinctly.

예시: Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because it has several universities, affordable housing, cosy coffee shops and a range of sports and cultural activities. However, some young people move to larger cities for a wider range of job opportunities.

× My hometown is Georgia, which is located in East Java, Indonesia.

✓ My hometown is Georgia, which is located in East Java, Indonesia.

No correction needed for grammar here; sentence correctly uses 'is' to describe location. Keep as is.

× It's quite close to Surabaya, so it's a convenient place for life.

✓ It's quite close to Surabaya, so it's a convenient place to live.

The phrase 'place for life' is not natural English. Use 'place to live' to indicate suitability for living. This fixes article and idiomatic phrasing: 'a convenient place to live.'

× I've spent most of my life there, so I feel very connected to the city.

✓ I've spent most of my life there, so I feel very connected to the city.

No correction needed; present perfect 'I've spent' correctly indicates life experience up to now and 'feel' appropriately expresses current state.

× What I like is the atmosphere is not as scary as a big city, but at the same time it has almost everything I need.

✓ What I like is that the atmosphere is not as intimidating as in a big city, but it still has almost everything I need.

Original has a structure problem: two 'is' clauses clash ('What I like is the atmosphere is...'). Insert 'that' after 'is' and rephrase for naturalness. Also change 'scary' to 'intimidating' for register and add 'in' before 'a big city' for correct preposition use.

× I also enjoy the local food, especially traditional dishes and seafood.

✓ I also enjoy the local food, especially traditional dishes and seafood.

Sentence is correct; article use is appropriate. No change needed.

× I have lived in the same zone since I have a sport, so I know the area very well.

✓ I have lived in the same area since I was involved in sports, so I know the area very well.

Original 'since I have a sport' is ungrammatical. 'Since' should be followed by a point in time or an event: 'since I was involved in sports' or 'since I started playing sports.' Also 'zone' is unnatural here; use 'area.' This keeps present perfect 'have lived' to indicate duration up to now.

× Growing up here has made me feel really attached to the local community and comfortable with the neighbor.

✓ Growing up here has made me feel really attached to the local community and comfortable with the neighbors.

Use plural 'neighbors' rather than singular 'the neighbor' when referring generally to people living nearby. 'The neighbor' would refer to a specific person.

× Yes, My Hamsung is a good place for young people because it has many educational institutions, cozy coffee shopping centers, and plenty of leisure activities.

✓ Yes, Hamsung is a good place for young people because it has many educational institutions, cozy coffee shops, and plenty of leisure activities.

Capitalize proper noun 'Hamsung' only, no 'My' before the town name unless intentionally saying 'my Hamsung' (which implies possession). 'Coffee shopping centers' is incorrect; likely 'coffee shops' or 'shopping centers.' Choose 'cozy coffee shops' for natural phrasing.

× However, some young people prefer bigger cities for more career opportunities.

✓ However, some young people prefer bigger cities for more career opportunities.

Sentence is grammatically correct and natural; no change needed.