Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise: state your hometown once, correct tense and avoid repetition. Use a clear topic sentence, then one or two supporting details with linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., 'I spent my childhood', 'a rural area', 'near my house there were parks').

예시: I’m from a small rural town in India. I spent my childhood there surrounded by gardens, and near my house there were several parks where we used to play and go on family rides.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence saying what you like, then add specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and improve grammar (e.g., 'full of natural scenery', 'famous for its agricultural land', 'we played with my neighbours').

예시: I like the natural scenery and peaceful atmosphere of my hometown. For example, it’s famous for its agricultural land, and there was a park near my house where I often played with my neighbours.

제안: Use correct tense and structure to answer duration (e.g., 'I lived there for 25 years' or 'I have lived there for 25 years'). Follow with one or two clear supporting details linked logically. Avoid fragmented sentences and clarify comparisons.

예시: I lived there for 25 years. Over the last two decades the architecture has changed a lot, and children don’t play outside as much as they did when I was young, partly because of social media.

제안: Start with a clear direct answer ('Yes, it is') and then give specific reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'however'. Remove hesitations and repetitions, and be precise about facilities (e.g., 'schools, healthcare, and nearby libraries').

예시: Yes, it is a good place for young people because basic necessities are available, including schools and healthcare. However, cultural facilities are limited, although there is a library in a nearby village.

× I spend my childhood in a rural rural area.

✓ I spent my childhood in a rural area.

The sentence refers to a completed past time (childhood), so past simple is required. Also 'rural' is repeated; remove duplicate. Suggestion: use 'spent' for past events and avoid word repetition.

× It was a beautiful area surrounded by gardens and a near my house there are a number of parks which where we used to take took rides and play with friends.

✓ It was a beautiful area surrounded by gardens, and near my house there were a number of parks where we used to go for rides and play with friends.

Multiple issues: incorrect article and word order 'a near my house' should be 'near my house'; verb tense consistency requires past plural 'there were' not 'there are' because describing past setting; 'which where' is redundant—use 'where'; 'take rides' is unnatural in this context—use 'go for rides' or simply 'ride'. Remove repeated words and ensure past tense for past narrative.

× My hometown is a place with full of natural views and and it was famous for its agricultural land.

✓ My hometown is a place full of natural scenery, and it was famous for its agricultural land.

Use 'full of' without 'with' ('a place full of...'), avoid duplicate 'and and'. 'Natural views' is awkward—use 'natural scenery'. Maintain past tense 'was' when referring to a past reputation.

× Near my house there was a park with where we took rides and play with my neighbor children.

✓ Near my house there was a park where we went for rides and played with my neighbors' children.

Remove unnecessary 'with' before 'where'. Use past tense verbs 'went' and 'played' to match past timeframe. Use possessive plural 'neighbors' children' or 'my neighbor's children' depending on meaning; here plural neighbors is likely, so use 'neighbors' children'.

× I have been lived for 25 years in my hometown.

✓ I have lived in my hometown for 25 years.

Incorrect verb form 'have been lived'—use present perfect 'have lived' to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to present. Correct word order places the duration after the verb phrase: 'have lived in my hometown for 25 years'.

× The style of a building, the architecture of a building was changed from last two decades on as well as children are not used to play as much as in my childhood.

✓ The style and architecture of the buildings have changed over the last two decades, and children do not play as much as they did in my childhood.

Use plural 'buildings' if referring generally. Use present perfect 'have changed' for changes over a period up to now. 'From last two decades on' is incorrect—use 'over the last two decades'. For the second clause, use present simple 'do not play' to describe current habit and past simple 'did' for comparison to past. Also fix word order and redundant articles.

× The social media influencer the children.

✓ Children are influenced by social media.

Original is a fragment lacking a proper verb and structure. Recast as passive or active sentence: 'Children are influenced by social media' clearly conveys the intended meaning. Alternatively: 'Social media influences children.'

× Yes, my yes, my hometown is very good place for young people as there are uh, There are basic necessities uh, available in my hometown as well as schools, healthcare facilities are available.

✓ Yes, my hometown is a very good place for young people, as basic necessities such as schools and healthcare facilities are available in my hometown.

Remove repeated phrases 'yes, my yes, my'. Include indefinite article 'a very good place'. Avoid stilted repetition of 'available' by combining items: 'basic necessities such as schools and healthcare facilities are available.' Ensure smooth sentence flow and capitalization.

× On the other hand, libraries are also umm in nearby village.

✓ On the other hand, libraries are also in a nearby village.

Missing indefinite article before 'nearby village'—use 'a nearby village'. Also remove filler 'umm' in formal response. Preposition 'in' is correct; ensure article is present.