Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 句子有语法错误、用词不准确以及信息表达不够清晰。首先动词时态和完成时/现在完成时使用不正确（应说“I have lived in Shanghai since I was born”或“I was born in Shanghai”）。地标名称和名词单复数需注意（如“The Oriental Pearl Tower”，“the Bund”）。句子较冗长且有语法错误，影响流利度。建议：用一到两句直接回答，然后补充一到两个具体细节。注意使用正确的时态和固定搭配，改正常见名词拼写与搭配错误，减少重复。

예시: I was born and raised in Shanghai. It’s a major international city famous for landmarks like the Oriental Pearl Tower and the Bund, and it attracts many tourists each year; however, traffic is often heavy on weekdays.

제안: 回答有明确主题，但有语法错误和表达不地道（例如“share is it”错误，形容词用法不当“relaxable”应为“relaxed”或“more relaxed”）。细节可以更具体：说明为什么喜欢、具体场合、口味或做法等。建议一句主题句后，用连词（because, for example, when）补充具体原因和示例，注意词汇准确性和自然表达。

예시: I particularly enjoy Shanghai’s local dishes, especially xiao long bao, because of their delicate soup and thin skin. For example, during Chinese New Year my family always gathers to share them, which makes our celebrations feel warm and relaxed.

제안: 时态和数字表达混乱（“since I was born as almost 16 years”不通顺），并且逻辑有误（“convenient traffic jams”相互矛盾）。需要直接给出居住年数，使用正确的时态和表达交通便利的词汇（convenient transport/transportation），并清楚描述票价。建议：一句话回答年限，然后一句或两句说明交通便利的具体细节，避免重复和自相矛盾。

예시: I have lived in Shanghai for almost 16 years. I like the city because its public transport is very convenient — the subway network reaches most areas and a typical fare for many journeys is about CN¥4.

제안: 回答肯定但有重复和结尾不完整（句尾“and some.”未表明完整内容）。内容可以更具体，说明为何适合（工作机会、娱乐、交通、教育等）并用连接词使句子更连贯。避免泛泛而谈，多给具体例子或数据。

예시: Definitely — Shanghai is modern and international, offering many job opportunities and industries that attract recent graduates. For instance, there are numerous startup hubs and cultural venues, and most young people commute easily by subway to work and leisure activities.

× I live in Shanghai since I was born.

✓ I have lived in Shanghai since I was born.

此句谈及从出生到现在持续的动作，应使用现在完成时（have/has + 过去分词）。原句用一般现在时与表示起点的时间状语“since I was born”不搭配。建议使用“I have lived...”来表示从过去持续到现在的状态。

× It's an international city with a lot of landmarks in it such as the Oriental party tower and the bond.

✓ It's an international city with a lot of landmarks in it, such as the Oriental Pearl Tower and the Bund.

1) 专有名词拼写错误：应该是 'Oriental Pearl Tower'（东方明珠塔）和 'the Bund'（外滩）。2) 逗号用于引出示例。3) 介词短语“in it”可以保留但更简洁可去掉。建议检查专有名词拼写并在列举示例前加逗号。

× There are many tourist visits here in every year and the traffic jams is really heavy during the weekdays.

✓ There are many tourists here every year, and the traffic jams are really heavy on weekdays.

1) “tourist visits” 用词不当，应为“tourists”表示游客（可数名词复数）。2) “in every year” 应为“every year”。3) 主谓不一致：traffic jams（复数）应搭配 are，不是 is。4) “during the weekdays” 更常见简化为“on weekdays”。建议使用复数名词并确保主谓一致与正确搭配时间介词。

× I'm a big fan of local food such as Xiao Long Bao in Shanghai.

✓ I'm a big fan of local food, such as xiao long bao, in Shanghai.

句子本身语法大致正确，但建议添加逗号以清晰表达并将小笼包小写或按上下文统一格式。此处无需-ing 形式修改。提供改进版以提高可读性。

× I usually share is it with my family members.

✓ I usually share it with my family members.

原句包含多余词 'is' 并且词序错误。正确结构为动词 + 宾语 'share it'，没有必要插入 'is'。建议写作时注意不要插入无关词并保持主谓宾顺序。

× When we enjoy our traditional festivals such as Dragon Boat Festival and Chinese New Year, we get together and have this food.

✓ When we celebrate traditional festivals such as the Dragon Boat Festival and Chinese New Year, we get together and eat this food.

1) ‘enjoy our traditional festivals’ 虽非完全错误，但用 'celebrate' 更自然。2) 'have this food' 表达不够准确，改为 'eat this food' 更明确。建议根据语境选择更自然的动词。

× This makes our life more relaxable and comfortable.

✓ This makes our lives more relaxed and comfortable.

1) 'relaxable' 是不常用/不正确的词，应该使用形容词 'relaxed' 表示放松的状态。2) 'life' 在指家庭成员的共同生活时通常用复数 'lives'。建议使用常见形容词 'relaxed' 并注意单复数。

× I have lived in Shanghai since I was born as almost 16 years.

✓ I have lived in Shanghai since I was born; I'm almost 16 years old.

原句混合时态和不自然的表达。‘since I was born’ 应与现在完成时连用（已在前句修正），关于年龄的表达应为 'I'm almost 16 years old'。建议将两个信息分为两句或用分号连接，且用标准年龄表达。

× I'm fond of living in Shanghai because of the convenient traffic jams.

✓ I'm fond of living in Shanghai because of the convenient transportation.

‘convenient traffic jams’ 是自相矛盾且不合逻辑的表达，应为 'convenient transportation' 或 'convenient public transport'。建议使用合适的名词短语表达交通便利。

× I we can we can go to every corner of the city by subways and it's cost just CN¥4.

✓ We can go to every corner of the city by subway, and it costs just CN¥4.

1) 原句有重复 'I we can we can'，应删除重复并以主语 'We' 开头。2) 'subways' 作方式名词时常用单数 'by subway' 或 'by the subway system'；两者皆可，但更常见 'by subway'。3) 'it's cost' 语法错误，应为 'it costs'（主谓一致）。建议删去重复词、修正谓语形式并使用常见表达。

× It's an international and modern city and many graduates come here to build their careers every year and we can see a lot of businessmen and businesswomen in every corner of my city.

✓ It's an international and modern city; many graduates come here to build their careers every year, and we can see many businesspeople in every corner of the city.

1) 原句过长且连接词重复，建议分号或逗号连接。2) 'a lot of businessmen and businesswomen' 可简化为 'many businesspeople' 更自然且不重复性别。3) 'my city' 在正式描述家乡时用 'the city' 更客观。建议拆分长句、精简词汇并使用一致称谓。

× Many of them go to work by subways and some.

✓ Many of them go to work by subway or other public transport.

原句末尾 'and some.' 不完整，句子结构不完整。改为 'or other public transport' 补全对比并表达完整意思。建议避免不完整的短语并确保句子结尾完整。