Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and sentence fragments.

예시: My hometown is Taylin Province, in the south of Vietnam, about three hours from Ho Chi Minh City. It has a much more peaceful atmosphere than big cities, with less traffic and a slower pace of life. Also, Taylin is known for its delicious local food and several important religious sites.

제안: Reduce hesitations and filler words. Open with a clear topic sentence, then use linking words (For example, In addition) to list specific reasons. Keep to 3–4 sentences maximum.

예시: What I like most about my hometown is the strong sense of peace and familiarity. For example, it is much quieter than Ho Chi Minh City and has far less traffic. In addition, daily life is less stressful and the cost of living is lower, which makes it easier to enjoy free time.

제안: Fix grammar and word choice errors, and make sentences coherent. Begin with a clear answer to the time question, then add one specific supporting detail about feelings, using a linking phrase.

예시: I've lived there for about 18 years — I was born and raised in Taylin. Because I grew up there, I feel a strong sense of attachment and belonging, so even after moving away I still think of it as home.

제안: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and contrast using linking words (However, On the other hand). Correct unclear references and vocabulary mistakes, and give one concrete example.

예시: It can be a good place for some young people, but it depends on their priorities. For example, if someone values a peaceful environment and close family ties, Taylin is ideal. However, for those seeking diverse career opportunities or higher education, larger cities like Ho Chi Minh City offer more options.

× It's not as crowded or fast-paced as a big city so I would say it's have much more peaceful atmosphere.

✓ It's not as crowded or fast-paced as a big city, so I would say it has a much more peaceful atmosphere.

The error is incorrect verb form after 'I would say' and missing article and modifier form. 'it's have' is ungrammatical; correct verb is 'it has' (present simple) to describe a general characteristic. Also add the article 'a' before 'much more peaceful atmosphere' and include 'much' before comparative: 'a much more peaceful atmosphere.' Suggestion: use subject 'it' + correct verb 'has' and include the article and adverb placement: 'a much more peaceful atmosphere.'

× It's also known for local food, religious side and slower pace of.

✓ It's also known for local food, its religious sites, and its slower pace.

Original sentence has missing noun forms and incomplete ending 'pace of.' Use parallel noun phrases: 'local food, its religious sites, and its slower pace.' Add possessive 'its' for clarity and change 'religious side' (vague) to 'religious sites.' This fixes sentence structure and parallelism.

× Well, there's a lot of thing that I love about my hometown, but the, the, the thing that I like the most is that, uh, probably the sense of peace and, umm, familiarity.

✓ Well, there are a lot of things that I love about my hometown, but the thing I like the most is probably the sense of peace and familiarity.

'a lot of thing' should be 'a lot of things' (plural quantifier agreement). Also remove filler repetitions and place adverb 'probably' in a natural position. Use 'there are' for plural 'things.' Suggest practicing noun number agreement and avoiding fillers.

× Compared to Ho Chi Minh City, life in there is much quieter and less stressful.

✓ Compared to Ho Chi Minh City, life there is much quieter and less stressful.

Using both 'in' and 'there' is redundant. Use either 'in Ho Chi Minh City' or 'there.' In this comparative structure, 'life there' is correct. Remove the unnecessary preposition 'in.'

× Well, there's a lot of thing that I love about my hometown, but the, the, the thing that I like the most is that, uh, probably the sense of peace and, umm, familiarity.

✓ Well, there are a lot of things that I love about my hometown, but the thing I like the most is probably the sense of peace and familiarity.

Repeated: 'a lot of thing' must be plural 'a lot of things' to match 'a lot of' quantifier. Also use 'there are' rather than 'there's' for clear speech in formal writing. Practice subject-verb agreement with quantifiers.

× I've lived there for around 18 years, since I was born and grew up there.

✓ I've lived there for around 18 years; I was born and grew up there.

The original is acceptable but slightly awkward combining present perfect with 'since' + past simple 'grew up.' Better to separate: 'I've lived there for around 18 years' (present perfect) and then 'I was born and grew up there' (past facts). This clarifies tense use. Suggest keeping consistent tense structure: present perfect for duration and simple past for events.

× It's a place I feel really attached to, attacked to.

✓ It's a place I feel really attached to.

The speaker mistakenly repeated 'attacked to' (wrong word 'attacked'). Use 'attached to' which is the correct adjective phrase. Remove the incorrect word. Practice pronunciation and choice of similar-sounding words.

× Even though I move away quite a long time, I'm still feel like home and sense of belonging to me.

✓ Even though I moved away a long time ago, I still feel at home and have a sense of belonging.

Tense is incorrect: use simple past 'moved away' for the action completed in the past and add 'a long time ago' to indicate time. 'I'm still feel' mixes auxiliary forms; correct is 'I still feel.' Use preposition 'at home' and full phrase 'have a sense of belonging.' Fix word order and verb forms.

× I would say yes, but it depends on what young people are looking for, if they want to.

✓ I would say yes, but it depends on what young people are looking for.

The clause 'if they want to' is redundant and incomplete. Remove it to make the sentence grammatically complete. When using 'it depends on' followed by a noun clause, ensure the clause is full and necessary.

× If they want a peaceful environment and to be surrounded by family, then UH-10 is a lovely place to live.

✓ If they want a peaceful environment and to be surrounded by family, then Taylin Province is a lovely place to live.

'UH-10' appears to be an incorrect or unclear pronoun/name. Replace with the correct place name 'Taylin Province' for clarity. Also pronoun consistency: ensure the subject refers clearly to the location previously named.

× However, in terms of career opportunities and education, it may not offer us by a range of option as a less less city.

✓ However, in terms of career opportunities and education, it may not offer as many options as a larger city.

Original has several issues: incorrect phrase 'offer us by a range of option,' repetition 'less less,' and wrong comparison. Use 'offer as many options as a larger city.' 'Many' matches 'options' (plural). 'Larger city' is the correct comparison. Suggest practicing comparative structures and correct collocations: 'offer options,' 'as many as.'