Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant, but make it more natural by using a single concise sentence as the topic sentence and adding one specific detail. Avoid repeating similar words (e.g., lakes and hills then beautiful lakes and hills).

예시: I come from Pokhara, a city famous for its stunning lakes and surrounding hills. For example, Phewa Lake lies right next to the city and offers great views of the Annapurna range.

제안: Your answer has good ideas but is wordy and contains awkward phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting points using linking words (e.g., firstly, secondly) and concise language. Avoid vague phrases like "natural beauties" and "captured by our naked eyes."

예시: I particularly like Pokhara’s natural scenery and the friendliness of its people. Firstly, the morning views of Phewa Lake and the surrounding hills are breathtaking. Secondly, locals are very hospitable, so visitors and residents often feel welcomed.

제안: This answer is confusing and grammatically incorrect. Use a clear tense and concise statement. Give a specific timeframe if possible and a brief supporting detail if needed. Keep it to one or two sentences.

예시: I have lived in Pokhara since I was born, so I’ve spent my entire childhood and most of my life there.

제안: Your answer answers the question but is repetitive and includes unnecessary personal reference. Begin with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons linked logically. Use correct grammar for verbs and comparative expressions.

예시: Yes, I believe Pokhara is good for young people because it offers many outdoor activities like hiking and boating, and the cost of living is relatively affordable. As a result, young people can enjoy a comfortable lifestyle without spending a lot.

× My hometown is in Pokhara. It is surrounded with beautiful lakes and hills.

✓ My hometown is in Pokhara. It is surrounded by beautiful lakes and hills.

Use 'surrounded by' not 'surrounded with'. 'Surrounded by' is the correct prepositional phrase to indicate what encloses a place. Suggestion: memorize common verb+preposition collocations (e.g., surrounded by, filled with).

× As a local of Pokhara, I like the natural beauties, hills, lakes and the views that are captured or that can be seen by our naked eyes when we wake up.

✓ As a local of Pokhara, I like the natural beauty, the hills, the lakes, and the views that we can see with our naked eyes when we wake up.

Use 'natural beauty' (uncountable) rather than 'natural beauties'. Add definite articles for specific items: 'the hills, the lakes'. 'Captured or that can be seen' is redundant; use 'that we can see'. Use 'with our naked eyes' instead of 'by our naked eyes'. Suggestion: choose correct countable/uncountable nouns and avoid redundancy.

× And the good hospitality is the most thing that I like about my hometown.

✓ The warm hospitality is the thing I like most about my hometown.

Original has awkward word order and incorrect article use. 'The most thing' is ungrammatical; use 'the thing I like most' or 'my favorite thing'. 'Good hospitality' is better expressed as 'warm hospitality'. Suggestion: place superlative or 'most' after the object (like most + verb) or use 'favorite'.

× I lived there since I was born, or maybe I live near my whole childhood.

✓ I have lived there since I was born, or I lived there for most of my childhood.

When an action continues from the past to the present, use present perfect: 'have lived'. The second clause mixes tenses and uses incorrect preposition 'near' and phrasing 'my whole childhood'. Use 'for most of my childhood' for duration. Suggestion: use present perfect for life-long habits and 'for' with duration expressions.

× I think yes, my hometown is a good place for young people as I'm also a young girl, so I think that Pokhara is the place where the young people enjoy and be comfortable with affordable prices.

✓ I think so. My hometown is a good place for young people. As I'm also a young girl, I think that Pokhara is a place where young people can enjoy themselves and feel comfortable because prices are affordable.

Several issues: 'I think yes' is unnatural—use 'I think so'. Split into clearer sentences. 'the young people enjoy and be comfortable' has subject-verb and modal errors: use 'can enjoy themselves and feel comfortable'. 'With affordable prices' is a weak prepositional phrase; use 'because prices are affordable'. Suggestion: use appropriate modals ('can') for ability/possibility, reflexive pronoun 'themselves' with 'enjoy', and clearer connectors.