Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be accurate, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct factual errors (e.g., Osaka is in the Kansai region), remove unclear fragments (e.g., "N Charlie" and "harm"), and avoid listing too many adjectives. Keep answer to under 4 sentences and use linking words if you add details.

예시: I come from Osaka, a large city in the Kansai region of Japan. It is famous for its food and lively nightlife, and people there are known for being friendly. Although I now live abroad, Osaka still feels like home because my family and many friends are there.

제안: Organize into a clear topic sentence plus two supporting details. Correct awkward phrasing ("On top of the the full scene"). Use linking words (for example, moreover, in addition) and be specific (give an example of approachable behaviour or a famous food). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: I like the relaxed and friendly atmosphere in Osaka. For example, shopkeepers often chat with customers, which makes the city feel welcoming. In addition, the food scene is outstanding — places like Dotonbori offer both famous street food such as takoyaki and many high-end restaurants.

제안: Be careful with verb tenses and sentence structure. Start with a direct topic sentence stating the duration, then link to your current situation using a clear connector (e.g., since then). Avoid minor grammar slips ("many of friends"). Keep it to 3 sentences maximum and include a specific detail to illustrate connection (e.g., how often you visit or talk to family).

예시: I lived in Osaka for about 18 years before I moved to Australia to study. Since then I have been based in Brisbane for several years. I still feel connected to Osaka because I visit my family every year and keep in regular contact with many friends there.

제안: Provide one clear topic sentence, then two specific supporting points with examples. Fix collocation and word choice errors ("part time job" -> "part-time jobs", "build bosses" unclear — likely "build both a social life and a career"). Use linking words (for example, for instance) and avoid repetition. Keep to 3 sentences.

예시: Yes — Osaka is a great place for young people because it combines career opportunities with a high quality of life. For instance, there are many universities and part-time jobs, as well as diverse entertainment districts for social life. As a result, young people can study, work and enjoy leisure activities without having to move to a different city.

× My hometown is Osaka, which is one of the largest and most well known city in Japan.

✓ My hometown is Osaka, which is one of the largest and most well-known cities in Japan.

'well known' should be hyphenated as 'well-known' when used as a compound adjective before a noun; 'city' should be plural 'cities' because 'one of the' refers to a member of a group (plural). Use of plural noun after 'one of the' is required. Suggestion: Use hyphens for compound adjectives before nouns and ensure the noun is plural after 'one of the'.

× It's located in the Kansas region and is famous for its amazing food, culture, favorite nightlife, and friendly locals.

✓ It's located in the Kansai region and is famous for its amazing food, culture, vibrant nightlife, and friendly locals.

The region name is likely 'Kansai', not 'Kansas'. 'Favorite nightlife' is not idiomatic; use 'vibrant nightlife' or 'exciting nightlife'. This fixes lexical/prepositional reference and adjective choice. Suggestion: Verify proper nouns for place names and use idiomatic collocations ('vibrant nightlife').

× Although I've been living N Charlie for several years now, Osaka will always feel like harm to me.

✓ Although I've been living in North Carolina for several years now, Osaka will always feel like home to me.

'living N Charlie' appears to be incorrect and nonstandard; likely intended 'living in North Carolina'. Preposition 'in' is required after 'living'. 'Harm' is incorrect; the intended word is 'home'. Suggestion: Use correct place names and the preposition 'in' with 'living'; check spelling of 'home'.

× Compared to some other major cities in Japan, people in Osaka tend to be more approachable and down to earth.

✓ Compared to some other major cities in Japan, people in Osaka tend to be more approachable and down-to-earth.

'down to earth' used adjectivally before or after a noun is usually hyphenated as 'down-to-earth'. This is an adjective punctuation issue. Suggestion: Hyphenate multi-word adjectives when they modify a noun or follow a linking verb for clarity.

× On top of the the full scene is incredible whether you were looking for street food or high end restaurants.

✓ On top of that, the food scene is incredible whether you are looking for street food or high-end restaurants.

Original has repeated 'the the', incorrect phrase 'full scene' instead of 'food scene', wrong tense 'were' should be present 'are' to match general statement, and 'high end' should be hyphenated as 'high-end'. Also the connector 'On top of that' clarifies the addition. Suggestion: Proofread for repeated words, use correct noun phrases ('food scene'), use present tense for general statements, and hyphenate compound adjectives.

× I've lived in Osaka for around 18 years before moving to Australia for my study.

✓ I lived in Osaka for around 18 years before moving to Australia to study.

Combination of present perfect 'I've lived' with a finished time frame 'before moving' is awkward; simple past 'I lived' matches the completed action. 'for my study' is unnatural; use 'to study'. Suggestion: Use past simple for completed past periods and use 'to study' for purpose.

× Since then, I've mainly been based in Brisbane, so I've actually spent several years overseas.

✓ Since then, I've mainly been based in Brisbane, so I've actually spent several years overseas.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. (Included to show no applicable error from the provided list.)

× Even though I don't live in Osaka anymore, I still feel a strong connection to it because my family and many of friends are still there.

✓ Even though I don't live in Osaka anymore, I still feel a strong connection to it because my family and many of my friends are still there.

Missing possessive pronoun 'my' before 'friends' is incorrect. Use 'many of my friends' to show possession. Suggestion: Include possessive pronouns where required ('many of my friends').

× I think Osaka offers a great balance between career opportunity and quality of life which makes it an attractive place for young people.

✓ I think Osaka offers a great balance between career opportunities and quality of life, which makes it an attractive place for young people.

'career opportunity' should be plural 'career opportunities' when speaking generally. Also add a comma before the relative clause 'which makes'. Suggestion: Use plural for countable nouns when speaking generally and punctuate nonrestrictive clauses with a comma.

× There are plenty of universities, part time job and entertainment options available so it's relatively easy to build bosses, social life and career there.

✓ There are plenty of universities, part-time jobs, and entertainment options available, so it's relatively easy to build a social life and a career there.

Multiple issues: 'part time job' should be plural and hyphenated 'part-time jobs'; missing commas in a list; 'build bosses' is incorrect—likely intended 'build a social life'; missing articles before 'social life' and 'career'. Also add comma before 'so'. Suggestion: Use plural for general lists, hyphenate compound modifiers, include articles where needed, and proofread for incorrect words (e.g., 'bosses' -> 'a social life').