Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your hometown, then add one or two specific details using correct phrasing and linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g. 'living the cost of living').

예시: I come from Hong Kong, a major international financial centre. However, the cost of living is quite high, particularly housing, which many people find unaffordable.

제안: Organise your answer: give a clear topic sentence, then two linked supporting points with specific examples. Reduce fillers like 'Uh' and correct collocations (e.g. 'fusion of' -> 'a mix of'). Use linking words such as 'also' or 'moreover'.

예시: I like that Hong Kong combines urban life with natural areas. For example, public transport is excellent so commuting is easy, and moreover there are many country parks and trails where people can hike on weekends.

제안: Be direct about the length of time, then add a brief reason. Avoid wordy or unclear phrases like 'places to go to figure out.' Use one linking phrase to connect the reason.

예시: I've lived in Hong Kong all my life, so for 18 years. I don't get bored living here because there are always new places and events to explore.

제안: Answer directly, then give two specific reasons with concise language. Correct grammar (e.g. 'a yes' -> 'yes'; 'gain a good paid' -> 'earn good salaries'). Vary vocabulary to avoid repetition of 'young people'.

예시: Yes, I think Hong Kong is good for young people because its strong finance and business sectors create many job opportunities. As a result, young people can pursue careers and often earn relatively high salaries.

× I live in Hong Kong, which is a famous international financial center and the living the cost of living is high in Hong Kong, especially the housing prices which is not really affordable for most of people.

✓ I live in Hong Kong, which is a famous international financial center, and the cost of living is high in Hong Kong, especially the housing prices, which are not really affordable for most people.

Errors: extra article 'the' before 'living' and before 'cost of living', redundant 'the', and 'most of people' should be 'most people'. Subject-verb agreement for 'prices' requires 'are' not 'is'. Suggestions: remove the extra 'the' so phrase reads 'the cost of living' (only one 'the' before 'cost'), or simply 'cost of living' after the conjunction; change 'which is not really affordable for most of people' to 'which are not really affordable for most people'. Use commas to separate clauses.

× In my opinion, Hong Kong is a place with fusion of rural areas and urban areas.

✓ In my opinion, Hong Kong is a place with a fusion of rural and urban areas.

Error: missing article 'a' before 'fusion' and unnecessary repetition 'areas'. Suggestions: add 'a' before 'fusion' and simplify 'rural areas and urban areas' to 'rural and urban areas' for natural phrasing.

× Uh, the transport is really convenient in Hong Kong, and it's easy for people to go to work, but on weekends, the mountains and waterfalls, country parks are really good for people to go.

✓ The transport is really convenient in Hong Kong, and it's easy for people to get to work, but on weekends the mountains, waterfalls, and country parks are great places to visit.

Errors: awkward and ungrammatical phrase 'are really good for people to go' and list punctuation; 'get to work' is more natural than 'go to work'. Suggestions: use 'places to visit' or 'places to go' and list items with commas and 'and'; replace 'really good' with more precise adjective 'great'.

× I've been living in Hong Kong since I was born, so I've been living here for 18 years and I think Hong Kong is a place that no matter how long you live, you will not feel bored because there are always surprises and places to go to figure out.

✓ I've been living in Hong Kong since I was born, so I've lived here for 18 years, and I think Hong Kong is a place where, no matter how long you live, you will not get bored because there are always surprises and places to explore.

Errors: repetitive 'I've been living' can be shortened for clarity; awkward phrase 'places to go to figure out' is ungrammatical. Suggestions: use 'I've lived here' for period up to now; change 'feel bored' to 'get bored' and 'places to explore' for natural phrasing.

× I would definitely say a yes because Hong Kong it's really famous for its business and financial market.

✓ I would definitely say yes because Hong Kong is really famous for its business and financial markets.

Errors: redundant 'a' before 'yes' and incorrect insertion 'Hong Kong it's' (should be 'Hong Kong is'); 'market' should be plural 'markets' for general reference. Suggestions: remove 'a', use 'Hong Kong is', and use 'markets' or 'sector' depending on meaning.

× This provides more job opportunities for young people and young people can chase their dreams in Hong Kong and to gain a good paid in Hong Kong.

✓ This provides more job opportunities for young people, who can pursue their dreams in Hong Kong and earn good pay there.

Errors: repetition 'young people' twice in one sentence; ungrammatical 'to gain a good paid' (incorrect verb and noun form), and unnecessary repetition 'in Hong Kong'. Suggestions: combine clauses with a relative pronoun 'who', use 'pursue' instead of 'chase' for formal speech, and 'earn good pay' or 'receive good pay' instead of 'gain a good paid'.