Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Good direct response and concise. To improve, make the sentence slightly more natural by adding a short comment about the place (e.g., a characteristic) and avoid redundancy. Keep it to one or two sentences and use a linking phrase if adding details.

예시: I was born and raised in Bangkok, the capital of Thailand. It's a bustling city known for its vibrant street life and temples.

제안: The answer addresses reasons but has grammar, vocabulary and coherence issues and filler words. Improve by using a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms, reduce fillers, and add one specific example. Use linking words like "because" and "for example." Keep to max 3–4 sentences.

예시: I like Bangkok because it offers great convenience and many job opportunities. For example, public transport and shopping centers are nearby, so I can easily commute to work and find part‑time jobs that help me develop skills and improve my well‑being.

제안: Meaning is clear but grammar and fluency need correction. Use the present perfect tense for duration ("I have lived") and avoid unsure age ranges—state the best estimate confidently. One concise sentence is enough.

예시: I have lived in Bangkok since I was five or six, so it's been about sixteen or seventeen years.

제안: You give an opinion and reasons, which is good, but improve by using clearer structure and more precise vocabulary (e.g., "pollution" as uncountable, "poor air quality"). Use linking words and add a specific consequence or example. Keep it to two sentences.

예시: From my perspective, Bangkok is not an ideal place for young people because of high levels of air and water pollution. For example, poor air quality can cause health problems for children and limit outdoor activities.

× From my opinion, I love Bangkok because it provide convenience and employment opportunities so I can get involved and it make me easily to umm pursue my team and improve my well-being.

✓ In my opinion, I love Bangkok because it provides convenience and employment opportunities, so I can get involved and it makes it easy for me to pursue my dreams and improve my well-being.

Multiple issues: 'From my opinion' is incorrect preposition collocation; use 'In my opinion'. 'Provide' and 'make' must agree with singular subject 'Bangkok', so use third person singular 'provides' and 'makes' (third person singular issue). 'Make me easily to' is ungrammatical—use 'makes it easy for me to' (preposition/phrase structure). 'Team' seems wrong contextually—likely 'dreams' or 'goals'; replace with appropriate noun. Also add commas and conjunction adjustments to improve sentence flow. Suggestions: use 'In my opinion', ensure subject-verb agreement with singular subjects, use 'makes it easy for me to + verb', and choose correct nouns for intended meaning.

× Umm, I was lived in Bangkok since I was 5 or 6 years old, so it's probably 16 or 17 years now.

✓ Umm, I have lived in Bangkok since I was 5 or 6 years old, so it's probably 16 or 17 years now.

The sentence uses 'was lived', an incorrect past passive/tense form. With 'since' and a time that continues to the present, use the present perfect 'have lived'. Remove 'was'. Suggestion: use 'I have lived in Bangkok since...' for actions that began in the past and continue now.

× Umm From my perspective, I don't think my hometown is good for young people because Bangkok contains many pollution, for example, air pollution, water pollution that I think it's not good environment for children.

✓ Umm, from my perspective, I don't think my hometown is good for young people because Bangkok has a lot of pollution, for example, air pollution and water pollution, which I think is not a good environment for children.

Problems: capitalization and missing comma after 'Umm'. 'Contains many pollution' is incorrect collocation; use 'has a lot of pollution' or 'has much pollution'. 'Air pollution, water pollution that I think it's not good environment' is run-on and ungrammatical; use 'air pollution and water pollution, which I think is not a good environment for children.' Also ensure subject-verb agreement: 'which... is not a good environment'. Suggestions: use 'has a lot of pollution', list examples with 'and', use 'which' to link the clause, and keep consistent punctuation.