Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce repetition, use a clear topic sentence, and organize supporting details with linking words. Pronunciation and grammar need polishing (e.g., verb forms, articles, word choice). Keep answers concise (max 4–5 sentences) and give specific examples of duties.

예시: I work as a graduate assistant at **** University. I supervise students during practical sessions and help them answer questions. For example, I guide groups through lab procedures and give feedback on their techniques, which helps build their confidence and practical skills.

제안: Start with a direct statement of location, then give two specific responsibilities using linking words (e.g., 'also', 'for example'). Fix tense and article errors and avoid vague phrases. Clarify how the job improves your skills with a concrete reason.

예시: I work at **** University in the science department. I supervise students during practical classes and also mark their tests. For example, marking lab reports has improved my attention to detail because I must check calculations and experimental procedures carefully.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid unclear words ('aging skills') and repetitive fillers. Correct grammar: use present tense and consistent person. Mention concrete opportunities the workplace offers.

예시: Yes, it is a good place to work because it offers professional development and teaching experience. For instance, I can attend workshops and take on advanced teaching duties, which would prepare me for a university teaching role in Australia.

제안: Answer the question directly (Yes/No + brief reason), then give one or two specific examples of research tasks. Use correct noun forms and avoid vague words ('scaries'). Connect ideas with linking words like 'also' and 'for example.'

예시: Yes, I enjoy working there because I can do both teaching and research. For example, I write research papers and run experiments in the lab, which expands my knowledge and helps me develop problem-solving skills.

제안: Provide a clear, concise statement of your main career goal, followed by specific steps or examples of what you will do. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement) and remove repetitions. Use linking words like 'therefore' or 'for example' to show plan and motivation.

예시: My main goal is to become a university lecturer and inspire students from local communities to pursue medicine. To achieve this, I plan to complete my postgraduate training, publish research, and run outreach programs in local schools to motivate potential medical students.

× I work, I work as a graduate assistant at **** University.

✓ I work as a graduate assistant at **** University.

The repetition 'I work, I work' is redundant and does not change meaning; remove the duplicate to make a clear present-tense statement. Use present simple for habitual or current job roles.

× So in there I have students to to do their practicals and answer several questions.

✓ There I supervise students as they do their practicals and answer several other questions.

The original uses incorrect infinitive structure 'have students to do' and repetition 'to to'. Use 'supervise' and 'as they do' (present participle clause) to describe ongoing actions. This fits present-tense description of duties.

× And in that way I feel like I have them to build confidence in together skills that they want from their unit.

✓ In that way I feel I help them build confidence in the skills they need for their unit.

Original uses incorrect pronouns and phrasing: 'have them to build confidence in together skills' is ungrammatical. Use 'help them build confidence' and 'skills they need' for clear subject-object relations.

× I work at **** University on points to supervise students in their practicals and sometimes I involved in a marking of their tests and sometimes evaluation object of test.

✓ I work at **** University, supervising students in their practicals. Sometimes I am involved in marking their tests and evaluating exam items.

Several errors: 'on points to supervise' is incorrect preposition/phrase; 'involved' needs auxiliary 'am involved' (verb tense), and 'a marking of their tests' should be 'marking their tests'. Use 'evaluating exam items' for clarity. Keep present continuous/simple as appropriate.

× I feel like this is very important to work because it gets me to improve my attention skills which I must like.

✓ I feel this work is very important because it helps me improve my attention skills, which I value.

Awkward modal/phrase 'which I must like' is incorrect. Use present simple 'helps me improve' and 'which I value' to express appreciation. Maintain present-tense viewpoint.

× Yeah, it is a good place to work because it gave you an opportunity to advance in all aging skills of teaching towards like more advanced role of teaching.

✓ Yes, it is a good place to work because it gives you the opportunity to advance your teaching skills toward more advanced teaching roles.

Tense mismatch: 'gave' (past) should be present 'gives' to match ongoing truth. 'Aging skills' is wrong word; use 'teaching skills'. Simplify phrasing and use present simple for general truth.

× So because my my course is to teach in university in Australia if I get that opportunity.

✓ My goal is to teach at a university in Australia if I get the opportunity.

Original fragment lacks clear verb structure and is repetitive ('my my') and uses incorrect infinitive phrasing 'is to teach in university'. Recast as a clear present simple statement of intention.

× So with this role it prepare me with such a skills to go with what I want.

✓ This role prepares me with the skills I need to pursue my goals.

Subject-verb agreement and tense: 'it prepare' should be 'it prepares' (third person singular present). 'Such a skills' is incorrect article/number; use 'the skills' or 'skills'. Rephrase for clarity.

× Together with academic stuff that you are doing, I can also do research activities, which is one of the area that I admire the most.

✓ Alongside academic work, I can also do research activities, which is one of the areas I admire most.

Awkward phrasing 'academic stuff that you are doing'; 'which is one of the area' should be 'one of the areas'. Use 'alongside' and simplify for natural sentence structure.

× So with the research, of course I can do different activities like writing or experiment and that of course we expand my knowledge on the scaries of how we solve different things.

✓ Through research I can do different activities like writing or conducting experiments, and that expands my knowledge of how we solve various problems.

Multiple issues: 'experiment' needs verb form 'conducting experiments'; 'we expand' should be 'it expands' (research/activities expand knowledge) or 'that expands'. 'scaries' is wrong word; use 'ways' or 'methods' or 'how'. Use present simple to describe general truths.

× I think my career goals, my future goals is building up from my early education background.

✓ I think my career goals build on my early educational background.

Subject-verb agreement: 'goals is' should be 'goals are' or recast as 'goals build'. 'Building up from' is awkward; 'build on' is idiomatic. Use 'educational' as adjective.

× So I I'm a teacher with educational experience.

✓ I am a teacher with educational experience.

Remove repeated 'I' ('I I'm'). Keep simple present 'I am' to state current identity. This fixes pronoun duplication and contraction misuse.

× So I feel like I want to go there to teach many students and of course, not just students, I want to teach students from local areas where they can be inspired to be medical students.

✓ I want to teach many students, especially those from local areas, so they can be inspired to become medical students.

Original is wordy and repetitive ('teach many students' then 'not just students'). Reorganize sentence for clarity and conciseness. Use 'become medical students' rather than 'be medical students' for future aspiration.