Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Give a direct, simple opening sentence stating your current status, then add one or two clear supporting details (when and why you studied abroad). Avoid repetition and long hesitations. Use correct grammar for tense and word order.

예시: I'm currently not working; I'm a student. I studied English abroad six months ago to improve my language skills, and I recently returned to Japan.

제안: Directly answer that you don't work now, then briefly explain what you are doing and your plans. Keep sentences short and grammatical, avoid fillers and repeated words. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly.

예시: I don't have a job at the moment. I study English at home every day, and recently I've been looking for a new job because I plan to study abroad again.

제안: Answer the question directly about a place only if you worked there; otherwise clarify that you haven't worked there and explain why you can't judge. Avoid repeating 'I hope' several times. Provide one clear reason or opinion if possible.

예시: I haven't worked at a specific place recently, so I can't say if it's a good workplace. However, I hope to find a job with a friendly environment and reasonable hours.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence saying whether you liked it, then give two concise supporting details (e.g., noise, machinery, long hours) and finish with a personal comment. Use past tense consistently and avoid trailing off.

예시: I worked at Art Factory for 15 years, and overall I didn't enjoy it. The workplace was very noisy and full of machines, which made it tiring, though I appreciated the steady income.

제안: Give a clear, specific plan: state the study goal, where, and the career intention after finishing studies. Avoid vague phrases like 'be big' — use precise career words (e.g., 'start my own clinic' or 'become a certified therapist'). Keep to two or three sentences.

예시: I plan to study remedial massage in Australia to become a certified therapist. After I finish, I want to open my own practice or work in a wellness clinic in Japan.

× I'm not working and study student I because I studied abroad to learn English, uh, six months ago and I return, I return back to Japan. So I, I.

✓ I'm not working; I am a student because I studied abroad to learn English six months ago and then I returned to Japan.

This sentence has multiple structure problems (ID 26). The speaker mixed clauses, used incorrect word order ('study student I'), and redundant words ('return back'). Correct sentence structure requires subject + verb order ('I am a student'), correct tense for past events ('studied', 'returned'), and removal of redundant 'back' after 'returned'. Use connectors like 'then' for sequence. Suggestion: Break into clear clauses, keep subject-verb order, use past tense for completed actions, and avoid redundant words.

× I don't have permanent job umm because I I studied English every day at home. So uh from uh.

✓ I don't have a permanent job because I studied English every day at home.

This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and article error (ID 22). 'Permanent job' needs the indefinite article 'a'. The phrase 'So uh from uh' is incomplete and should be removed. Also remove repeated filler words. Use a single coherent clause linking lack of job and study activities. Suggestion: Include necessary articles and remove unfinished fragments.

× Recently I'm looking for a new job because I'm pre I would like to study abroad.

✓ Recently I'm looking for a new job because I would like to study abroad.

This contains tense and sentence structure problems (IDs 6 and 26). 'I'm pre' is an incomplete phrase; likely the speaker intended 'I would like'. The present continuous 'I'm looking' is correct for current job search. Remove the fragment 'I'm pre' and keep 'I would like to study abroad' as a reason. Suggestion: Eliminate incomplete fragments and keep consistent tense.

× As I say before, I don't have AI, don't have job at the moment so I have been looking for a new job. So I hope to, I hope, I hope to get my umm a new job for.

✓ As I said before, I don't have a job at the moment, so I have been looking for a new one. I hope to get a new job soon.

Errors include incorrect verb form 'As I say before' (should be past 'said'), article omission 'don't have job' (article error ID 22), repetition and unfinished phrases (sentence structure ID 26). 'AI' appears to be a mispronunciation and should be removed. Use 'a job' and 'a new one' to avoid repetition and finish the thought with 'soon'. Suggestion: Use correct past tense for referencing previous statements, include articles, and avoid filler/repetition.

× I had I had worked at company Art factory for 15 years and my workforce is umm. Very noisy and surrounding by many machines so.

✓ I worked at the Art Factory company for 15 years, and my workplace was very noisy and surrounded by many machines.

This sentence has past tense and word choice errors (IDs 5 and 26). 'I had I had worked' is incorrect repetition; simple past 'I worked' is appropriate. 'Company Art factory' needs correct word order and capitalization. 'Workforce' is the wrong noun; 'workplace' refers to the location. Use past 'was' for the workplace condition and passive 'surrounded by' for machines (verb form and preposition errors). Suggestion: Use simple past to describe past employment, choose correct nouns ('workplace'), and use passive 'surrounded by' to describe environment.

× I would like to study in Australia to learn remedial massage and after completing study there, I want to be big. I want to be, uh, uh.

✓ I would like to study in Australia to learn remedial massage, and after completing my studies there, I want to become successful in my career.

This contains sentence structure and vocabulary choice errors (IDs 26 and 13). 'After completing study' needs possessive and plural 'my studies'. 'I want to be big' is inappropriate and unclear in English; likely intended 'be successful' or 'become well-established'. Use 'become successful in my career' to convey the intended meaning and match future intentions. Suggestion: Use 'my studies', pluralize when speaking of course of study, and choose clear vocabulary for goals (e.g., 'successful', 'well-established').