Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then one brief supporting detail. Avoid unnecessary dates unless relevant. Fix article and verb forms (e.g., "I'm a secondary school teacher", "a master's degree").

예시: I’m a secondary school teacher. I completed my bachelor’s degree in 2018 and a master’s degree in 2023, which helped me develop classroom management and subject knowledge.

제안: Give a direct location or institution and then one or two specific details about your role. Reduce hesitations and combine ideas with linking words (e.g., "because", "but").

예시: I work at a local secondary school as an English teacher. It can be challenging because of large classes, but it’s rewarding because I can see students improve over the year.

제안: Answer directly and clearly, then give one specific reason with better vocabulary and grammar. Use linking words to make it coherent (e.g., "because", "so"). Avoid repetition like "we are" several times.

예시: Yes, it’s a great place to work because we help students develop skills and prepare them for future careers, so the job feels meaningful.

제안: Use correct adjectives and structure: say you like it and give a brief specific reason. Replace "kindly" with "kind" and "respective" with "respectful". Avoid filler words like "honestly" unless adding emphasis.

예시: Yes, I enjoy working there at the moment because my colleagues are very kind and respectful, which makes the working environment supportive.

제안: Clarify the exam name (e.g., "IELTS") and state specific, concise goals in 2–3 sentences. Use correct grammar and complete ideas (e.g., "improve and boost my critical thinking"). Avoid rhetorical fillers like "Why not?" unless polished.

예시: I’m preparing to take the IELTS exam so I can work abroad. I’m also focusing on improving my English, communication skills, and intercultural awareness to interact better with international colleagues and develop my critical thinking.

× Uh, currently I'm secondary school teacher.

✓ Uh, currently I'm a secondary school teacher.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before a singular countable noun. Use 'a' to indicate one teacher; structure: 'I'm a [job]'. Suggestion: Always use 'a' or 'an' before singular countable job titles.

× I obtained my bachelor's degree in 2018, and I graduated from the University of Mastagon with a master degree in 2023.

✓ I obtained my bachelor's degree in 2018, and I graduated from the University of Mastagon with a master's degree in 2023.

Possessive form is required: 'master's degree' not 'master degree'. The apostrophe + s shows the type of degree. Also treat 'master's degree' as a fixed noun phrase. Suggestion: Use 'bachelor's degree' and 'master's degree' consistently.

× So yeah.

✓ (No grammatical correction needed)

This filler phrase is informal but not grammatically incorrect; no change necessary.

× I work in teaching students, so my position or my career is teaching.

✓ I teach students, so my job is teaching.

Awkward phrasing: 'work in teaching students' is clumsy. Use the verb 'teach' for the occupation and 'job' or 'career' as complement. Simplify structure for clarity. Suggestion: Use active verb forms: 'I teach students' or 'I work as a teacher'.

× I find it, uh, very difficult a job, but it is a rewarding career.

✓ I find it a very difficult job, but it is a rewarding career.

Incorrect word order: the article 'a' should come before 'very'. Correct order: 'a very difficult job'. Also 'find it' needs the object placement 'a very difficult job'. Suggestion: Place determiners before modifiers: 'a very difficult job'.

× Yeah, it is extremely good thing for work because we are improving others, we are teaching others, we are boosting others to doing future and prepare them for a future occupations.

✓ Yeah, it is an extremely good job to have because we help others improve, we teach them, we encourage them to plan for the future and prepare them for future occupations.

Multiple issues: missing article before 'extremely good thing' (use 'an extremely good job'), awkward collocations ('boosting others to doing future' is ungrammatical), inconsistent verbs and pronouns. Use clearer verbs: 'help others improve', 'teach them', 'encourage them to plan for the future'. Also 'a future occupations' mixes singular and plural; use 'future occupations' without 'a'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations: 'a good job', 'help someone improve', 'encourage someone to do something'.

× Honestly, at the moment I really like it. I find people who work with me very kindly and very respective people.

✓ Honestly, at the moment I really like it. I find the people who work with me very kind and very respectful.

Incorrect adjective forms: 'kindly' is an adverb, should be 'kind' for people; 'respective' is wrong meaning — use 'respectful' to describe people who show respect. Also add 'the' before 'people' for specificity. Suggestion: Use adjectives for people (kind, respectful) and use 'the people who' when referring to a specific group.

× Uh, actually I'm working towards passing the eyelids exam in order to work abroad.

✓ Uh, actually I'm working towards passing the IELTS exam in order to work abroad.

Likely wrong noun: 'eyelids exam' is incorrect; intended 'IELTS exam'. Keep present continuous 'I'm working towards' which is correct for ongoing plans. Ensure proper noun spelling. Suggestion: Use correct exam name 'IELTS' and maintain present continuous for ongoing efforts.

× Why not? And improving my communication skills, my English skills and knowing other cultures, interacting with different friends with and improve and boost my critical.

✓ Why not? I'm also improving my communication and English skills, learning about other cultures, interacting with different people, and improving and boosting my critical thinking.

Sentence fragments and incorrect verb forms: list items need parallel structure and a main verb (e.g., 'I'm ...'). Use gerunds consistently ('improving', 'learning', 'interacting'). 'Different friends with' is incorrect preposition and noun choice — use 'different people'. 'Improve and boost my critical' is incomplete; use 'critical thinking'. Suggestion: Use parallel gerund phrases and complete noun phrases: 'improving my... , learning about..., interacting with..., and improving my critical thinking.'