Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cần làm câu trả lời ngắn gọn, tự nhiên và rõ ràng hơn. Tránh lỗi ngữ pháp như 'despite from the fact' (sai) và dùng linking words phù hợp. Thêm một câu mô tả cụ thể về công việc trước đây (ví dụ: nhiệm vụ chính hoặc thời lượng) và giữ tổng số câu không quá 5 câu.

예시: I'm currently a high school student, but I used to work part-time in small coffee shops. I mainly served customers and prepared drinks for about a year, which was a memorable experience. It helped me improve my communication and time-management skills.

제안: Cần trả lời trực tiếp, ngắn gọn và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: 'one of my most important goals' và 'I used to work at a cinema and in coffee shops'). Thêm một chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: vị trí, ca làm việc) để làm câu trả lời thuyết phục hơn.

예시: I don't work at the moment because I'm in 12th grade and my priority is graduating. In the past I worked shifts at a cinema and in several coffee shops in District 1, usually on weekends.

제안: Cần cấu trúc rõ ràng: mở đầu bằng một câu chủ đề ngắn, sau đó nêu lý do cụ thể. Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và diễn đạt tự nhiên (ví dụ: 'because not only was it small and cozy, but it was also located in a quiet alley' và tránh câu kết không hoàn chỉnh).

예시: Yes, it was a good place to work. Not only was the café small and cozy, but it was also tucked away in a quiet alley, so it didn't get very busy. As an introvert, I felt comfortable and could focus on my tasks.

제안: Câu trả lời tốt nhưng có thể rút gọn và tự nhiên hơn. Giữ cấu trúc: chủ đề + 1–2 trợ dẫn cụ thể + ví dụ ngắn. Thêm từ nối để mạch lạc hơn và tránh lặp từ 'comfortable'.

예시: Yes, I liked working there. The atmosphere was relaxed and my colleagues were friendly, so I could concentrate on my tasks. For example, our short coffee breaks together helped me unwind and stay motivated.

제안: Trả lời trực tiếp và rõ ràng—điểm tốt. Có thể bổ sung một câu ngắn nói về kế hoạch sau khi vào đại học hoặc loại công việc mong muốn để làm câu trả lời cụ thể hơn.

예시: At the moment I don't have specific work plans because my priority is graduating and going to university. After that, I might look for a part-time job related to my field of study to gain experience.

× To be honest, I'm currently a student, but despite from the fact that I'm a high school student, I used to have a part time job and I worked at small coffee shops.

✓ To be honest, I'm currently a student, but despite the fact that I'm a high school student, I used to have a part-time job and I worked at small coffee shops.

'Despite' is used without 'from'; the correct phrase is 'despite the fact that'. Also 'part time' should be hyphenated as 'part-time' when used as a compound modifier before a noun. Suggestion: Use 'despite the fact that' and hyphenate compound adjectives.

× I used to have a part time job and I worked at small coffee shops.

✓ I used to have a part-time job and I worked at small coffee shops.

When talking about jobs generally, 'a part-time job' is correct. Also the plural 'small coffee shops' is fine; ensure hyphenation for 'part-time'.

× For a 12th grade student like me, graduating high school is one of my most important goal.

✓ For a 12th-grade student like me, graduating high school is one of my most important goals.

This is a subject-verb/number agreement issue: 'one of my most important goal' should be plural 'goals' because 'one of' is followed by a plural noun. Also '12th-grade' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective.

× But in the past I used to work at a cinema and coffee shops in District 1.

✓ But in the past I used to work in a cinema and in coffee shops in District 1.

Use 'in' with 'cinema' and 'coffee shops' to indicate working inside a location. Using 'at' is possible for specific addresses but 'in' is more natural here. Also repeat 'in' for parallel structure or use 'at' consistently.

× For me it was a good place to work because not only it is small and cozy but also it is located in the alley which most people didn't even know about that store.

✓ For me, it was a good place to work because not only was it small and cozy, but it was also located in an alley that most people didn't even know about.

Multiple issues: word order in 'not only... but also' requires parallel structure — 'not only was it small...' Also use past tense 'was' to match 'it was a good place'. 'In the alley' -> 'in an alley' is more natural, and remove 'that store' (redundant); use 'that' to introduce the relative clause.

× So as the introvert it was quite comfortable for me since.

✓ So as an introvert, it was quite comfortable for me.

Use 'an introvert' (indefinite article) instead of 'the introvert' unless referring to a specific known person. The sentence-ending 'since' is unnecessary and incomplete; remove it. Add comma after the introductory phrase.

× Well, yes, I do like the place where I work.

✓ Well, yes, I did like the place where I worked.

The student is describing a past job in earlier context; maintain past tense consistency: 'worked' rather than 'work'. If referring to a current job, keep present tense, but earlier they stated they do not work now, so use past tense.

× It's quite comfortable and my colleagues are friendly, so I feel relaxed there and I can focus on my tasks.

✓ It was quite comfortable and my colleagues were friendly, so I felt relaxed there and could focus on my tasks.

Maintain past tense consistent with past job experience: change 'is/are/feel/can' to past forms 'was/were/felt/could'.

× Actually, I don't have any plans for my future work at the moment.

✓ Actually, I don't have any plans for future work at the moment.

'My future work' is awkward; 'future work' or 'my future career' is more natural. Present tense 'don't have' is correct because discussing current plans. Suggest using 'career' if referring to long-term plans.

× Graduating high school and studying at university are my priority at this time as a 12th grade student.

✓ Graduating high school and studying at university are my priorities at this time as a 12th-grade student.

Use plural 'priorities' because two items are listed. Hyphenate '12th-grade'. 'At university' is fine; could also say 'at university' or 'at a university.'