Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and confident. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I’m currently a self-studying student”), then add one or two specific supporting details without filler sounds. Replace hesitations like “uh” and repeated words with a short pause. Also correct specific vocabulary: say “IELTS exam” not “aisles exam.”

예시: I’m currently a self-studying student. I’m focusing on improving my English because I plan to take the IELTS exam in September, and I study alone using online courses and practice tests.

제안: Answer directly and keep verb tense consistent. Begin with a clear topic sentence about past work (e.g., “I used to work as a journalist for a local newspaper”), then give one specific detail about your role. Avoid repetition and filler phrases.

예시: I used to work as a journalist for a local newspaper. I reported on community events and wrote feature articles, but I left that job two years ago to pursue freelance opportunities and study English.

제안: Give a clear reasoned answer with specific examples. Start with a direct sentence (e.g., “Yes, it was a good place to work”) then explain why with concrete details using linking words like “because” or “for example.” Reduce hesitations and avoid vague phrases like “many.”

예시: Yes, it was a good place to work because I had flexible hours. For example, I could arrange my schedule to attend appointments or handle personal matters while still meeting deadlines.

제안: Clarify meaning and use correct vocabulary. It seems you want to describe your ideal workplace—state that directly (e.g., “I would like my workplace to be close to public transport and have outdoor space”), then give one or two specific features. Avoid unclear words like “directed by many trains” and “many dreams.”

예시: I would like my workplace to be near public transport, especially train stations, and to have a small garden with plants. That way I could take short walks during breaks and enjoy a cup of coffee outside.

제안: Provide a concise statement of your plan and one or two specifics about how you will achieve it. Use clear phrasing for intentions (e.g., “I plan to become a freelance writer and work remotely while traveling”) and avoid repetition and filler words. Mention steps or skills you need to reach the goal.

예시: I plan to become a freelance writer so I can work remotely while traveling. To achieve this, I’m improving my English, building a portfolio of articles, and seeking online clients through freelancing platforms.

× I think I'm a student now because I'm not in school, but I study by myself.

✓ I think I'm a student now because I'm not in school, but I am studying by myself.

The context describes an ongoing action; use present continuous 'am studying' rather than simple present 'study' to show current ongoing activity.

× I, I'm studying English.

✓ I am studying English.

Remove unnecessary filler commas and contractions should be written properly. Use 'I am studying' for clarity; the main issue is punctuation/fluency rather than grammar category but correction fits verb + -ing form.

× Uh, I, I'm going to take the aisles exam in September.

✓ I am going to take the IELTS exam in September.

Use 'am going to' correctly for planned future actions and correct the exam name spelling from 'aisles' to 'IELTS'.

× I used to work for a local newspaper agency, but I quit the job two years ago, so I'm I'm was a journalist I.

✓ I used to work for a local newspaper agency, but I quit the job two years ago, so I was a journalist.

Remove redundant auxiliary 'I'm' and reorder words: use past simple 'was' for a past state. Also remove the trailing pronoun 'I'.

× Yes, it was a good place to work, umm, because I have many.

✓ Yes, it was a good place to work because I had many advantages.

The sentence is comparing past situation; keep past tense 'had' instead of present 'have'. Also 'I have many' is incomplete; specify noun like 'advantages'.

× I can manage my time to do my job and uh, uh, deal with my personal, uh, problem.

✓ I could manage my time to do my job and deal with my personal problems.

When referring to ability in a past job context, use 'could' or 'was able to'. Use plural 'problems' for general meaning. Remove fillers.

× I would like my workplace directed by many trains and there is a garden, plants, many dreams and uh, you, I can take a lap, uh, in the garden or a drink, a cup of coffee.

✓ I would like my workplace to be near many trains and to have a garden with plants where I can take a walk or have a cup of coffee.

Use correct infinitive structure 'would like ... to be'. 'Directed by many trains' is incorrect—use 'near many trains' or 'near a train station'. 'Take a lap' in this context should be 'take a walk'. Improve word order and articles.

× I want to be a freelancer in the future.

✓ I want to be a freelancer in the future.

No grammatical change needed; sentence correctly expresses future intention with 'want to'.

× I hope I can walk while traveling.

✓ I hope I can work while traveling.

Context indicates desire to work while traveling; 'walk' is likely a mistake. Use 'work' to match meaning. If original intended 'walk' then it is grammatical but inconsistent with next sentence.

× I can do my job when I'm, I'm traveling.

✓ I can do my job while I'm traveling.

Use 'while I'm traveling' for ongoing action; remove redundant 'I'm'.

× Uh, this is my perfect job.

✓ This is my perfect job.

Remove filler sound 'Uh'—sentence itself is grammatically correct.

× Umm, I hope I can umm get this job.

✓ I hope I can get this job.

Remove filler 'Umm' and the unnecessary 'umm' between words. The grammar 'hope I can get' is correct.