Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cần trả lời trực tiếp, rõ ràng và ngắn gọn. Tránh thông tin mâu thuẫn và lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ "help him study there" không rõ nghĩa). Nên có câu chủ đề ngắn, sau đó thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (chương trình học, năm học) dùng liên từ đơn giản nếu cần.

예시: I'm a university student studying Business at Hojima University. I'm currently in my third year, focusing on marketing and management courses.

제안: Câu trả lời không phù hợp với câu hỏi (đầu trả lời là "Yes, I am"), ngữ pháp nhiều lỗi ("marketing Internet", "write a content", "reworked"). Nên mở đầu trực tiếp nêu tên/loại công ty, vị trí và thời gian; dùng từ chính xác và cấu trúc đơn giản.

예시: I work for a small internet marketing company. I write content and manage web projects, and I've been there for about two years.

제안: Trả lời lặp, thiếu rõ ràng và nhiều lỗi từ vựng/ngữ pháp ("good rate to us", "a my dream jobs"). Cần nêu lý do rõ ràng, sử dụng các liên từ như "because" và đưa ví dụ cụ thể về điều bạn học được. Giữ tối đa 3-4 câu, tránh lặp từ như "very, very".

예시: Yes, it's a great place to work because it helps me develop both technical and marketing skills. For example, I learn how to run web campaigns and analyze customer data, which suits my career goals.

제안: Câu trả lời thiếu trôi chảy, nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không phù hợp ("fall concentrate", "picked windows", "private colleges", "peak pantry"). Hãy nói rõ điều bạn thích (môi trường yên tĩnh, đồng nghiệp thân thiện, tiện ích), hỗ trợ bằng 1 ví dụ ngắn và dùng liên từ để mạch lạc.

예시: Yes, I like my workplace because it is comfortable and quiet, so I can concentrate well. My colleagues are friendly and we often discuss problems together, and there is a small pantry where we relax during breaks.

제안: Ý tưởng tốt nhưng diễn đạt lộn xộn và nhiều lỗi ("main member", "natural steps", "art like colors", "strenuous PM role"). Nên nêu mục tiêu nghề nghiệp cụ thể (ví dụ: trở thành project manager), lý do, và các bước bạn sẽ làm (khóa học, kinh nghiệm). Dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: mục tiêu + lý do + kế hoạch ngắn hạn.

예시: My main goal is to become a project manager because I enjoy organizing tasks and communicating with teams. Next year I plan to take a course in project management and gain more leadership experience by leading small projects at work.

× I study business at Hojima University and I help him study there for three years.

✓ I have been studying business at Hojima University and I have been studying there for three years.

The original mixes present simple with a time period 'for three years', which requires present perfect continuous to show an action started in the past and continues now. Use 'have been studying' to indicate ongoing activity over a period.

× Our marketing Internet is a small company.

✓ Our marketing internet company is a small company.

The phrase 'marketing Internet' is incorrect word order and article usage. Use 'internet company' as a noun phrase; if 'our' already specifies it, no extra article needed. Also capitalize 'Internet' only if treating as proper noun historically, but lowercased 'internet company' is acceptable.

× I write a content and work on web projects and I have reworked there for about two years.

✓ I write content and work on web projects, and I have worked there for about two years.

'Write a content' is incorrect because 'content' is uncountable; use 'write content'. 'Have reworked' is wrong in meaning and form; to express employment duration use present perfect 'have worked'. Also add a comma before 'and' to join clauses.

× Is it a good rate to us? Because it's a my dream jobs and I think I can learn many things about a shop skills or technical skill in this company and marketing interest is always my big dream to trace.

✓ Is it a good place for us? It is my dream job, and I think I can learn many things about shop skills and technical skills in this company. Marketing has always been my big dream to pursue.

Multiple structural errors: 'good rate' should be 'good place'; 'to us' -> 'for us'. 'it's a my dream jobs' must be 'it is my dream job' (article and number). Use parallel nouns 'shop skills and technical skills'. 'marketing interest is always my big dream to trace' is unclear — use 'Marketing has always been my big dream to pursue' to express intention.

× So I very, very like this one.

✓ So I really like it a lot.

English doesn't use 'very like'; use adverb 'really' or 'like ... a lot'. Avoid 'this one' when referring to workplace—use 'it'.

× Well, uh, yes, I like the place where I work because it's a comfortable and quiet.

✓ Well, uh, yes, I like the place where I work because it's comfortable and quiet.

Do not use the indefinite article 'a' before uncountable adjective phrases 'comfortable and quiet' describing a place. Remove 'a'.

× I can fall concentrate, but someone might often have picked windows and private colleges.

✓ I can concentrate well, but sometimes people work in private cubicles and at windows.

'Fall concentrate' is not correct; use 'concentrate' with adverb 'well'. 'someone might often have picked windows and private colleges' is unclear and ungrammatical — likely intended 'sometimes people sit by windows or in private cubicles'.

× So we often discuss problems together and especially it's had a peak pantry where in a mini fruit.

✓ So we often discuss problems together and especially it has a pantry with some fruit.

'it's had' is incorrect tense here; use 'it has' to describe a current feature. 'a peak pantry' and 'mini fruit' are wrong word choices—use 'a pantry with some fruit'.

× So I very like it.

✓ So I really like it.

Again 'very like' is ungrammatical. Use adverb 'really' before the verb 'like' to modify it.

× Well, are they? My main member is to move into project manager.

✓ Well, my main aim is to move into a project manager role.

'Are they?' is irrelevant; remove it. 'main member' should be 'main aim' or 'main goal'. Use 'a project manager role' for clarity.

× I want to do this because I enjoy organizing work and I'm good at communicating with people.

✓ I want to do this because I enjoy organizing work and I am good at communicating with people.

Change contraction 'I'm' to 'I am' is optional; sentence is largely correct but keep consistent tense and form. No major grammar issue; provided corrected punctuation and spacing.

× So it feels like a natural steps.

✓ So it feels like a natural step.

Mismatch in number: 'a' requires singular noun 'step', not plural 'steps'.

× But some more I will take an art like colors in your tech management management next year and I try to get a strenuous PM role at that.

✓ But next year I will take a course in project management and I will try to get a challenging PM role after that.

Original is very unclear: 'some more' -> 'but next year'; 'take an art like colors in your tech management management' is garbled—likely 'take a course in project management'. 'strenuous' is awkward for job role; use 'challenging'. Use future tense consistently 'I will try'.