Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答をもっと簡潔で自然な英語にし、文法ミスと冗長表現を直しましょう。例えば職業の説明は一文で述べ、次に役割と理由を補足する構成にします。接続詞（because, so, which）を使って論理を明確にし、代名詞や冠詞の誤用（a bureaucrat, a regional battery station → at a regional battery station, support other person → support other people）を訂正してください。発音や流暢さは短く明確な文を練習することで改善できます。

예시: I work at a regional battery station as an administrative officer. I distribute grants to local communities, and I enjoy this work because it allows me to support people directly. It feels meaningful to help others through my job.

제안: 場所の説明を明確で簡潔にするようにしましょう。時制の一貫性（present simple）を使い、冗長な表現を省きます。接続詞を使って理由と追加情報をつなぎ、名詞・冠詞の一致（the view from the office, the greenery/garden）を直してください。また具体的な詳細（nearest station, nearby park）を一つ加えると説得力が増します。

예시: I work in central Tokyo, which is very convenient for commuting because it takes me only a short time to get there. From my office I can see a small greenery area and a nearby park, which makes the workplace pleasant.

제안: 肯定の応答に続けて理由を簡潔な文で述べましょう。文法（it's a very old building → it's an old building, the interior are → the interior was/has been、functional desks → functional desks are）と語順を修正し、文を完結させてください。複数の短い文に分けると流暢に聞こえます。

예시: Yes, it is. Although the building is old, the interior has been fully refurbished recently. The office has functional desks and lots of plants, which create a comfortable atmosphere.

제안: 質問の意図は『その場所が好きか』なので、まず簡潔に意見を述べ、その理由を2点以内で述べましょう。現在形を使い、語順や語句（I do → Yes, I do. The office is located…, I can go to a bar, there is a café/car? → likely 'bar' and 'cafe' confusion）を正してください。余計な情報は避け、具体例（close to bars/cafés, good social life）を一つ挙げると良いです。

예시: Yes, I do. The office is in the city centre, so commuting is easy. After work my colleagues and I often go to nearby bars or cafés, which makes socialising very convenient.

제안: 未来の計画は明確に簡潔に述べましょう。『同じ職場に残りたいが別の部署へ異動したい』という意味なら、formalで正確な語彙（division/department, gain experience, acquire skills）を使い、理由を2つほど具体的に示してください。曖昧な表現（change the law to other division, diverse of role, obtain our various skills）を修正して意味を明確にしてください。

예시: In the future, I would like to remain in the same organisation but transfer to a different department. I want to gain experience in different roles and acquire a wider range of skills to advance my career.

× I work for regional battery station as a bureaucrat.

✓ I work for a regional battery station as a bureaucrat.

The noun phrase 'regional battery station' needs an indefinite article 'a' because it is a singular, countable noun. Use 'a' before singular countable nouns when mentioning them for the first time. Improve by recalling that most singular countable nouns require 'a' or 'the'.

× I play I'm playing a role of distributing grants for each community and I really enjoy this because I originally hope to support other person through my job.

✓ I play a role in distributing grants to each community, and I really enjoy this because I originally hoped to support other people through my job.

Mixed and incorrect verb forms: 'play' and 'I'm playing' should be one consistent form; 'a role in' is the correct prepositional phrase; use 'distributing grants to' not 'for'; 'originally hope' should be past 'originally hoped' to match 'I play' (but present simple 'I play' could be kept; here past 'hoped' better reflects intention); 'other person' must be plural 'other people'. Improve by choosing consistent tense and correct prepositions and pluralization.

× I work in central Tokyo which is very convenient to commute because I will have to commute for less time to go there and I can enjoy the view from office.

✓ I work in central Tokyo, which is very convenient for commuting because I have to commute for less time to get there, and I can enjoy the view from the office.

Use 'convenient for commuting' not 'convenient to commute'; 'have to commute for less time' is more natural than 'will have to'; 'to go there' becomes 'to get there'; 'from office' needs article 'the office'. Improve by using correct prepositions and articles and natural collocations.

× The greenery garden are there.

✓ There is a green garden there.

Subject-verb agreement and adjective form: 'garden' is singular so use 'is' not 'are'; 'greenery' is uncountable and awkward here—use 'a green garden' or 'greenery' alone ('There is greenery there'). Improve by matching singular/plural and choosing correct noun form.

× Yes it is. Although it's very old building, the interior are fully refurbished recently, the functional desks and I can I can even enjoy the plants and.

✓ Yes, it is. Although it's a very old building, the interior was fully refurbished recently; there are functional desks, and I can even enjoy the plants.

Multiple issues: need article 'a' before 'very old building'; 'interior are' should be 'the interior was' since 'interior' is singular and the refurbishment is a past action; 'refurbished recently' pairs with past tense 'was refurbished'; use 'there are functional desks' for plural subject; remove duplicate 'I can'. Improve by using correct articles, past tense for completed actions, subject-verb agreement, and clearer sentence structure.

× Yes, I do the office located in the center of the city and it's very convenient to commute and after working I can go the bar and it's a car nearby there with my colleagues and friends.

✓ Yes, I do. The office is located in the center of the city and it's very convenient for commuting, and after work I can go to a bar nearby with my colleagues and friends.

Pronoun and article errors: 'I do' needs a following clause or be standalone 'Yes, I do.' Split into sentences. 'The office is located' needs 'is'; 'convenient for commuting' is correct phrase; 'after working' should be 'after work'; 'go the bar' needs 'go to a bar'; 'it's a car nearby there' is incorrect — intended meaning is 'a bar nearby' not 'car'. Improve by using correct pronouns, articles, prepositions, and clear sentence boundaries.

× In the future, I want to stay uh for in the same job, but I want to change the law to other division.

✓ In the future, I want to stay in the same job, but I want to transfer to another division.

Incorrect prepositions and word choice: 'stay uh for in' should be 'stay in'; 'change the law to other division' is incorrect—likely 'transfer to another division' or 'move to another division'. Use 'another' for a different division. Improve by using correct prepositions and precise verbs for job movement.

× It is because I want to experience the diverse of role and obtain our various skills that can.

✓ This is because I want to experience diverse roles and obtain various skills that I can use.

Incorrect adjective/noun forms and pronoun use: 'the diverse of role' should be 'diverse roles' (plural noun with adjective); 'obtain our various skills' should be 'obtain various skills'—'our' is incorrect; sentence ends incomplete—add 'that I can use' to complete the thought. Improve by using correct adjective-noun pairings, removing wrong possessive pronouns, and completing the clause.