Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity, grammar and completeness. Give a direct topic sentence, correct verb forms, and avoid unfinished fragments. Keep answer under five sentences and add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. For example, correct job title and duties, use linking words (for example, however, and), and finish thoughts.

예시: I work as an auditor and have been doing this for about five years. Every day I examine financial statements and test transactions to ensure accuracy and compliance. In addition, I prepare audit reports and discuss findings with clients, which I find rewarding because it helps improve companies' financial controls.

제안: Complete sentences and avoid hesitation sounds. Provide one or two specific details and link them coherently. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "AI-based management systems") and finish the final sentence. Keep it concise and natural.

예시: I work in a newly established office building in central Hong Kong. The building is tastefully decorated and fitted with modern technologies, such as smart meeting rooms and AI-based management systems. Because of these features, it is a comfortable and efficient place to work.

제안: Good clear response and supporting details. To improve further, vary vocabulary and use linking words more smoothly (for example, "Moreover," "Furthermore"). Make one small consolidation to avoid repetition (e.g., avoid both "environment" and "vibe" together).

예시: Yes, it's definitely a good place to work. The office is well equipped with up-to-date hardware and software, so I always have access to the resources I need. Moreover, colleagues are friendly and patient, which creates a positive and collaborative atmosphere.

제안: Correct small grammatical errors and word choice (e.g., "we I have" and "favorite sport" are incorrect). Be specific about flexible seating and link ideas with words like "so" or "therefore." Keep it concise and natural.

예시: Yes, I really like my workplace because we have a flexible seating plan, so I can choose a quiet corner when I need to concentrate or a shared space when I want to collaborate with colleagues.

제안: Clarify and correct grammar: use 'the financial sector' and complete the final phrase. Provide specific steps you will take and use linking words like 'therefore' or 'for example.' Mention training, certifications, or roles to make it more concrete.

예시: I plan to transition into the financial sector within the next five years. To achieve this, I will build on my audit experience by gaining certifications such as CFA or FRM and by seeking roles in risk management or financial analysis, where I can apply my skills in assessing financial risks.

× I have worked as an auditor for about 5 years.

✓ I have been working as an auditor for about five years.

The present perfect continuous is more natural to describe an action that started in the past and continues to the present; 'have been working' emphasizes ongoing duration. Also write numbers under ten in words in formal contexts (optional).

× My daily routine is to if exam financial statements, test transactions and to prepare.

✓ My daily routine is to examine financial statements, test transactions, and prepare reports.

The sentence has incorrect words and parallel structure errors. 'if exam' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'examine'. Items in a list should use parallel infinitives: 'to examine, to test, and to prepare' or simply 'examine, test, and prepare'. Added 'reports' to complete the idea.

× Auditory report is a fun job to do because you get to.

✓ Auditing is a fun job because you get to work with many different clients and learn about various industries.

'Auditory report' is incorrect word choice; the correct noun is 'auditing' or 'audit work'. The original sentence is also incomplete ('you get to' needs an object). I completed the sentence with a plausible continuation to make it grammatical and meaningful.

× I work in a newly established office building in central Hong Kong.

✓ I work in a newly established office building in central Hong Kong.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed.

× The building is tastefully decorated and equipped with modern technologies such as, uh, smart meeting rooms or AI based management systems.

✓ The building is tastefully decorated and equipped with modern technologies such as smart meeting rooms and AI-based management systems.

Remove filler 'uh' in formal response. Use 'and' instead of 'or' when listing examples, and hyphenate the compound adjective 'AI-based'. Also omit the unnecessary comma after 'such as'.

× It's a pleasant place to work and a very.

✓ It's a pleasant place to work and a very comfortable environment.

Original sentence is incomplete ('very' needs an adjective). Completed it with 'comfortable environment' to make it grammatical and coherent.

× The hardware and software are well equipped, so you can have access to any resources you may need.

✓ The hardware and software are well equipped, so you can access any resources you may need.

'Have access to' is acceptable, but 'can have access to' is wordy. Streamlined to 'can access' which is more natural. No subject-verb error, but improved phrasing.

× Besides, people around me are especially friendly and patient, so I love this environment and overall vibe very much.

✓ Besides, the people around me are especially friendly and patient, so I love this environment and overall vibe.

Added definite article 'the' before 'people around me' for natural English. Removed 'very much' after 'love this environment and overall vibe' to avoid redundancy; sentence is clearer and natural.

× Yes, I love the place very much because we I have a flexible seating plan so I can choose my favorite sport or for my needs on that working day.

✓ Yes, I love the place very much because we have a flexible seating plan, so I can choose my favorite spot according to my needs on a given work day.

Original contains typos and wrong pronoun order ('we I') and word choice ('sport' should be 'spot'). Also 'for my needs' is awkward; use 'according to my needs' and 'working day' -> 'work day' or 'workday'. Fixed punctuation and phrasing.

× I can either concentrate individually in a corner or collaborate with colleagues.

✓ I can either concentrate on my own in a corner or collaborate with colleagues.

'Concentrate individually' is awkward; use 'concentrate on my own' or 'work individually'. Both options are parallel and natural.

× I plan to transition into financial sectors in the next 5 years.

✓ I plan to transition into the financial sector in the next five years.

Use singular 'the financial sector' to refer to the industry generally, and write numbers under ten in words in formal contexts (optional). 'In the next five years' is fine for future planning.

× I would like to leverage my current experience to advance my career, especially in roles like risk management or financial analysis I have take.

✓ I would like to leverage my current experience to advance my career, especially in roles such as risk management or financial analysis that I have taken an interest in.

The ending 'I have take' is ungrammatical. Replaced with 'that I have taken an interest in' to convey intent. Also changed 'like' to 'such as' for formality and clarity.