Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct job title grammar (e.g. 'Head of Operational Excellence'), and use plural agreement and articles. Add one specific example of a typical task, and link ideas with a short connector.

예시: I work as the Head of Operational Excellence at a logistics company. I lead projects to improve business processes and mentor team members. For example, last quarter I redesigned our order-fulfillment workflow, which reduced processing time by 15%.

제안: Make the location and company origin clear, use correct verb forms and avoid filler words. Use one or two specific details about the company’s services and use a linking word to show the change (e.g. 'recently').

예시: I work in the logistics industry in Bangkok for a company based in Singapore. Recently, we shifted from express parcel delivery to B2B services, such as corporate transportation and warehousing solutions.

제안: Answer directly and confidently. Use correct grammar (remove extra 'is', use 'has' not 'have'), avoid hesitation sounds, and provide one concrete positive and one realistic challenge with a linking word (e.g. 'however').

예시: Yes, I think it is a good place to work because the team has a strong 'can-do' attitude and colleagues support one another. However, the work can be challenging since we handle complex customer requirements and tight deadlines.

제안: Give a clear opinion using linking words (e.g. 'on the whole' or 'however'). Complete your contrasting point with a specific reason instead of trailing off. Correct phrasing ('I like my workplace' and 'I dislike one thing because...').

예시: On the whole, I like my workplace because we have a strong team that collaborates to solve problems. However, I do miss my previous company because I recently moved from a role with more autonomy and closer mentors.

제안: State your future plan clearly with correct grammar and fewer fillers. Explain why going abroad will help and give a specific skill or role you aim for. Use linking words like 'so' or 'therefore' properly and avoid pronoun errors ('It' vs 'This').

예시: I plan to work abroad to broaden my skills in end-to-end supply chain management. By gaining international experience in procurement and production planning, I hope to qualify for senior operations roles and advance to a director-level position.

× Currently I am working as a head of Operation Excellence.

✓ Currently I am working as the Head of Operational Excellence.

Use of articles and noun forms: 'head' of a department normally takes the definite article 'the'; 'Operation Excellence' should be 'Operational Excellence' to use correct adjective form. Also capitalize job title consistently. Suggestion: use 'the Head of Operational Excellence' or 'Head of Operational Excellence' depending on formality.

× My responsibility are improving the process in the business and also developing people.

✓ My responsibilities are improving the processes in the business and developing people.

Subject-verb agreement and pluralization: 'responsibility' should be plural 'responsibilities' to match list of tasks, and verb 'are' then correctly links. Also 'process' should be pluralized to 'processes' to refer generally; remove redundant 'and also' and streamline to 'and'.

× I work in the logistic industry in Bangkok, uh, which is the company come from Singapore.

✓ I work in the logistics industry in Bangkok; the company comes from Singapore.

Use of noun form and articles: 'logistic' should be 'logistics' when referring to the industry. 'Which is the company come from Singapore' is ungrammatical; correct structure is 'the company comes from Singapore'. Use a semicolon or separate sentences to improve clarity.

× We have just transition to business from delivery express delivery to be uh, B2B services, yes, for example, transportation service and.

✓ We have just transitioned our business from express delivery to B2B services, such as transportation services.

Tense and verb form: after 'have' use the past participle 'transitioned'. Also restructure sentence for clarity: 'from express delivery to B2B services' and use plural 'services' when listing examples.

× Yes, it's is, I think it's have several positive environment.

✓ Yes, I think it has a generally positive environment.

Redundant 'it's is' removed. Use correct verb 'has' for possession with 'it' and article 'a' before 'positive environment'. 'Generally' added to sound natural.

× For example, uh, people in the organization, uh, among team we have umm, the can do attitude.

✓ For example, among the team members in the organization we have a can-do attitude.

Preposition and noun usage: 'among team' should be 'among the team members' or 'among the team'. Add article 'a' before 'can-do attitude' and hyphenate 'can-do' as a compound adjective.

× Yes, for the service is have many challenge.

✓ Yes, the services have many challenges.

Subject-verb agreement and pluralization: 'service' should be plural 'services' if referring generally, and 'have' matches plural subject. 'Many challenge' must be 'many challenges'.

× More or less, I like my workplace now because we have the team, the strong team to work together and, uh, resolve the issue together.

✓ More or less, I like my workplace now because we have a strong team that works together to resolve issues.

Word order and article use: 'the team, the strong team' is redundant. Use 'a strong team' and clause 'that works together'. 'Issue' should be plural 'issues' for generality.

× But by contrast, I dislike about the place because I have just moved from the.

✓ But on the other hand, I dislike some aspects of the place because I have just moved here.

Incomplete and awkward phrasing: 'I dislike about the place' is incorrect; use 'I dislike some aspects of the place' or 'I dislike it'. 'I have just moved from the.' is incomplete — likely meant 'moved here' or 'moved from my previous job'. Clarify the intended meaning.

× Currently, I have plan to go abroad for broaden my skill about uh, supply chain management is kind of a end to end process in the manufacturing or any businesses.

✓ Currently, I have plans to go abroad to broaden my skills in supply chain management, which is an end-to-end process in manufacturing and other businesses.

Article and verb forms: 'have plan' should be 'have plans' or 'plan', 'to go abroad to broaden my skills' uses infinitive correctly. 'is kind of a end to end process' should be 'which is an end-to-end process'; include hyphens in 'end-to-end' and use 'other businesses' for generality.

× So IT support me to uh, promote to the higher level in the future.

✓ So it will support me to be promoted to a higher level in the future.

Pronoun and passive construction: 'IT' capitalized suggests information technology but context likely means 'it' referring to the experience or program; use lowercase 'it'. 'support me to promote' is incorrect — use passive 'support me to be promoted' or 'help me get promoted'. 'the higher level' should be 'a higher level'.