Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I am currently a student”), then give one or two specific reasons for wanting to work. Avoid hesitations and redundancy, and correct plural/singular errors (e.g., “a student”).

예시: I am currently a student. I plan to start working next year as a part-time teacher so I can earn money for college expenses and be less dependent on my parents.

제안: Answer directly: state the place and add one specific detail. Reduce filler words (uh, um) and avoid repetition. Use clear linking words if adding reasons (for example, “because” or “so”).

예시: I plan to work at the English school in my village, where I studied before. Because it is familiar to me, I expect the job to be comfortable and relatively peaceful.

제안: Give a concise topic sentence and one clear reason with correct grammar. Avoid repeating words (“evening evening”) and be specific about why proximity matters. Use a linking word like “because” and correct noun forms (“household”→“home”).

예시: Yes, it is a good place to work because it is very close to my home. Since I will teach evening classes, living nearby will make my commute safer and less tiring.

제안: Be direct: answer yes/no and give a brief, coherent reason. Avoid vague or off-topic comments (pets oddly mentioned) and correct tense and agreement. Provide one clear personal preference and link it to the job.

예시: Yes, I would like the workplace because it will pay a salary that helps me support myself. I also prefer a friendly and relaxed environment, which makes long workdays more enjoyable.

제안: Organize your answer chronologically with clear linking words (first, later). Correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., “I am studying dentistry,” “clinic” singular/plural). Avoid confusing or unrelated words (e.g., “Kleenex”). Be specific about steps and timeline.

예시: First, while I am still at university I plan to work as a part-time teacher. After I graduate with a degree in dentistry, I hope to work as a dentist and eventually open my own dental clinic.

× I am a students and I do want to work in the future like next year or something like that and I want to become a teacher to get a salary for my college life because I don't want to spend my parents money anymore.

✓ I am a student and I do want to work in the future, like next year or so, and I want to become a teacher to earn a salary for my college life because I don't want to spend my parents' money anymore.

The noun 'students' should be singular 'student' because the speaker refers to themselves (one person). Also 'parents money' needs a possessive apostrophe: 'parents' money'. Use 'earn' rather than 'get' for salary. Suggestion: check singular/plural agreement and possessive forms.

× I think I'm gonna work at school, uh, at my village, which is, uh, the place that I used to study English too, and I will, uh, teach at English school and I hope that my work is gonna be easy and peaceful.

✓ I think I'm going to work at the school in my village, which is the place where I used to study English, and I will teach at an English school. I hope that my work will be easy and peaceful.

'Gonna' is informal; use 'going to'. 'My village' needs article 'the school' or 'a school' depending on meaning. 'Too' is incorrect here; use 'where' for relative clause. 'Gonna' and 'will' mixing is acceptable but use 'will' or 'going to' consistently. Use 'will be' instead of 'is gonna be'. Suggestion: use proper present participle forms and standard contractions in formal speech.

× I think it is a good place to work because it near my house and I'm gonna teach at evening evening class in the future, so I need a place where it's near my household. It's very sad for me to come home at night.

✓ I think it is a good place to work because it is near my house and I'm going to teach in an evening class in the future, so I need a place that is near my home. It would be very sad for me to come home late at night.

Missing verb 'is' in 'it near my house' (sentence structure). 'Evening class' requires the preposition 'in' and an article 'an'. 'Household' is incorrect in this context; use 'home'. Use 'come home late at night' rather than 'come home at night' for nuance. Suggestion: include necessary verbs and correct articles.

× I think I would like a place where I work because I get a salary. Umm for me if it's not fun place, if we get pet, it's always a fun place to me. And I hope that in the future I will have a simple job and got a salary to support myself and my family.

✓ I think I would like the place where I work because I get a salary. For me, if it's not a fun place, having a pet makes it fun for me. I hope that in the future I will have a simple job and get a salary to support myself and my family.

Use 'the place where I work' for specificity. Missing article 'a' before 'fun place'. 'If we get pet' is incorrect pronoun/subject; use 'having a pet' or 'if I get a pet'. 'Got a salary' should be 'get a salary' to match future intention. Suggestion: check pronoun references and maintain consistent subject.

× My future work plan is if I am still college student I will work as a teacher and after I graduate I will become a dentist because I'm study Your major is dentist and I work at Kleenex or in the future I will open my own clinics and works on my.

✓ My future work plan is: if I am still a college student, I will work as a teacher, and after I graduate I will become a dentist because I study dentistry. I might work at Kleenex, or in the future I will open my own clinic and work on my own.

Missing article 'a' in 'a college student'. 'I'm study Your major is dentist' is ungrammatical; correct to 'I study dentistry'. 'Clinics' should be singular 'clinic' when referring to 'my own clinic'. 'Works on my' is incorrect; use 'work on my own' or 'work for myself'. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent and use correct noun forms for fields of study and institutions.