Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use clearer sentence structure. Start with a direct topic sentence, then briefly add one or two specific details. Avoid unnecessary repetition and unclear abbreviations (e.g. UH) unless explained. Use linking words like 'so' or 'because' to show purpose.

예시: I'm a student. I recently finished my Grade 12 science exams and I'm waiting for the results. At the moment, I'm preparing for the national Common Entrance exam because it is required for admission to medical programs.

제안: Begin with a clear, direct statement answering the question. Give a brief reason or past example using linking words like 'because' or 'since'. Avoid filler words (umm, uh) and correct grammatical errors (e.g., 'thinking of starting', 'a quick buck' is informal).

예시: I'm not working at the moment, but I'm planning to start tutoring. I tutored a first grader after I finished grade 10, and because I found it easy and enjoyable, I might offer lessons again.

제안: Open with a clear opinion (yes/no) and support it with two specific reasons, using linking words such as 'because' and 'however'. Remove fillers and simplify sentences for clarity.

예시: Yes, tutoring is a good job for me because it is flexible and comfortable. For example, I can teach at my home in a quiet room or travel to a student's house, which creates a relaxed, homely atmosphere.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repeating previous information. Use one clear sentence to state your preference, then add a reason with a linking word like 'because' or 'so'. Eliminate filler words and finish with a complete thought.

예시: Yes, I would like working as a tutor because it is comfortable and the relaxed, homely environment helps both me and the students learn better.

제안: Provide a clear, structured plan: short-term and long-term goals. Use linking words (first, meanwhile, eventually) and give one specific detail for each goal. Avoid vague phrases like 'cracking my studies'.

예시: In the short term, I plan to offer tutoring and sell bouquets through my online page to gain experience and income. Meanwhile, I will continue preparing for medical entrance exams, and eventually, after qualifying, I aim to work as a doctor.

× I am a student who has just finished +2 UH both exam in science faculty and I'm waiting for my results so that I can work on my future studies.

✓ I am a student who has just finished the +2 UH exams in the science faculty, and I'm waiting for my results so that I can continue my future studies.

Multiple issues: plural noun 'exams' needed (singular/plural), missing article 'the' before '+2 UH exams', wrong preposition 'in' is acceptable but 'the science faculty' needs article, and sentence run-on needs a comma and conjunction. Suggest using 'exams', adding 'the', and splitting or linking clauses with a comma + and for clarity.

× Currently, I'm preparing for Common Entrance exam which is UH mandatory and highly competitive national level examination for students who are aiming for UH admission in medical field.

✓ Currently, I'm preparing for the Common Entrance exam, which is a mandatory and highly competitive national-level examination for students aiming for admission to medical programs at UH.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'Common Entrance exam'; missing article 'a' before 'mandatory'; 'national level' should be hyphenated 'national-level' as a compound adjective; 'aiming for UH admission in medical field' is awkward—use 'aiming for admission to medical programs at UH'. These are article, adjective form, and preposition/phrase choice issues.

× Currently I'm not working but I'm thinking of start giving tutoring to on a quick buck.

✓ Currently I'm not working, but I'm thinking of starting to give tutoring to earn a quick buck.

Incorrect verb form: 'start giving' should be 'starting to give' or 'start giving' requires direct object; extraneous preposition 'to' before 'on a quick buck' and wrong phrase 'on a quick buck' should be 'to earn a quick buck'. Also needs comma before 'but'.

× Umm after I finished my grade UH-10I tutored UH student of Grade 1 and it seemed a lot more easier than I thought so maybe I will do that.

✓ After I finished grade 10, I tutored a Grade 1 student, and it seemed a lot easier than I had expected, so maybe I will do that again.

Several errors: 'grade UH-10I' is unclear—use 'grade 10'; missing article 'a' before 'Grade 1 student'; redundancy 'a lot more easier' is incorrect—'easier' or 'a lot easier' and past expectation uses past perfect 'had expected'. Also sentence needs commas and clearer sequencing.

× For tutoring, there is no specific place, uh, so if it is home tuition then the student can visit my own house and I can, uh, teach in uh, my own room.

✓ For tutoring, there is no specific place, so if it is home tuition, the student can come to my house and I can teach in my room.

Awkward phrasing 'visit my own house'—use 'come to my house'; 'the student' can be 'the student' or 'a student' but context fits 'the student'; remove unnecessary 'own' and filler 'uh'. Commas needed. Simplify wording.

× But if it is in students house then I can easily go there and teach and which seems more like a homely environment than workplace.

✓ But if it is in the student's house, I can easily go there and teach, which seems more like a homely environment than a workplace.

Missing possessive apostrophe in 'students' -> 'student's house', missing articles 'the' and 'a', and incorrect insertion of 'and which'—should be 'teach, which'. Fix punctuation and article use.

× As I said, I'm not currently working, but uh, if I have to find a job, I will be uh, giving tutoring and I find that umm, work very comfortable and I like it.

✓ As I said, I'm not currently working, but if I have to find a job, I will give tutoring; I find that work very comfortable and I like it.

Incorrect progressive 'will be giving tutoring' is acceptable but clumsy—'will give tutoring' is clearer. Remove fillers. 'I find that work very comfortable' is acceptable but needed punctuation; original had awkward commas and filler words. Improve verb form and sentence flow.

× And uh, since the environment is very relaxed and homely, uh.

✓ Since the environment is very relaxed and homely, I think it suits me well.

The original sentence is a fragment (no main verb or complete thought). Provide a complete clause to finish the idea. Avoid filler 'uh'.

× Today is a step forward for my working experience and I also have skills to make bouquets.

✓ This is a step forward for my work experience, and I also have skills in making bouquets.

Use 'This is' instead of 'Today is' to match context; 'work experience' is more natural than 'working experience'; use 'skills in making bouquets' (preposition 'in' and gerund) for correct phrasing.

× So, uh, and I do have a online page.

✓ I also have an online page.

'a online page' should be 'an online page' because 'online' begins with a vowel sound. Remove filler words and redundant conjunctions.

× So I will be focusing on these two things for now and after cracking my studies and getting my qualification, I will be working as a doctor.

✓ So I will focus on these two things for now, and after I complete my studies and obtain my qualifications, I will work as a doctor.

Use 'will focus' instead of 'will be focusing' for clarity; 'cracking my studies' is nonstandard—use 'complete my studies'; 'getting my qualification' -> 'obtain my qualifications'; 'will work as a doctor' is clearer. Adjust verb forms and word choice.