Cars— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ควรใช้ tense ให้สอดคล้องกัน โดยใช้ “loved” แทน “love” เพราะกำลังพูดถึงอดีต นอกจากนี้ควรเพิ่ม linking word เช่น “because” หรือ “so” เพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผลให้ชัดเจน และเปลี่ยน “make” เป็น “made” ให้เป็น past tense คำตอบมีรายละเอียดดี แต่ควรแบ่งประโยคยาวออกเพื่อให้ฟังเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น

例: Yes, I loved traveling by car when I was a child. I enjoyed watching the scenery from the window because I was always curious about new places. Seeing different landscapes and small towns made every trip exciting.

提案: คำตอบมี topic sentence เหตุผล และรายละเอียดสนับสนุนที่ชัดเจน ความหมายของ “youthful features” ไม่ค่อยเป็นธรรมชาติเมื่อพูดถึงรถ ควรใช้ “modern features” หรือ “practical features” แทน และอาจยกตัวอย่างเพิ่มเติมว่ารถกว้างช่วยให้สมาชิกในครอบครัวนั่งสบายอย่างไร

例: I prefer spacious cars with comfortable seats because I often travel with my family. I also like cars with modern features, such as adjustable seats, good air conditioning, and plenty of storage space. These features make long journeys much more comfortable.

提案: ควรเติม comma หรือ linking phrase หลัง “Also” เช่น “Also, when…” และแก้ “which make” เป็น “which makes” เพราะประธานคือ “which” ที่อ้างถึงกิจกรรมทั้งหมด คำตอบมีเหตุผลหลายข้อและมีความยาวเหมาะสม แต่ควรจัดลำดับรายละเอียดให้ลื่นไหลและใช้ “on long trips” เพื่อให้เป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น

例: I prefer being a passenger because I can enjoy the scenery and take a nap on long trips. Also, when I’m not driving, I can relax, read, or listen to music. This makes the journey more enjoyable and less tiring.

提案: เนื้อหาตอบตรงคำถามและมีรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจงดี ควรหลีกเลี่ยง comma splice โดยแยกเป็นสองประโยค หรือใช้ “and” เชื่อมประโยคให้ถูกต้อง นอกจากนี้อาจใช้ “during a traffic jam” หรือ “when we get stuck in traffic” เพื่อให้ฟังเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น

例: When we get stuck in traffic, I usually talk to my mum and dad. We chat about our day or make plans for the evening, which helps me relax and pass the time. Sometimes, we also listen to music together.

提案: ควรแก้ “car color” เป็น “car colours” หรือ “the colour of a car” และใช้ “when buying a car” ให้กระชับขึ้น คำว่า “owner date of bird” ไม่ถูกต้อง ควรใช้ “the owner’s date of birth” นอกจากนี้ “suggest and recommend” ซ้ำความหมายกัน ควรเลือกใช้คำใดคำหนึ่ง และควรเติมจุดท้ายประโยค

例: Yes, car colours are quite important in Thailand because many people believe that certain colours bring good luck. When buying a new car, they may consult an astrologer or a colour expert. The expert considers the owner’s date of birth and recommends a suitable colour.

提案: ควรตอบให้ตรงและกระชับขึ้น เพราะมีการใช้ “I think” ซ้ำและโครงสร้าง “second hand something” ไม่เป็นธรรมชาติ ควรใช้ “a second-hand car” และอธิบายเหตุผลให้ชัด เช่น ค่าใช้จ่ายในการดูแลหรือความคุ้มค่า นอกจากนี้ควรใช้ “If I could afford one” แทน “If I have a chance” หากต้องการสื่อว่ามีกำลังซื้อ

例: Probably not. Even if I could afford an expensive car, I would prefer to buy a reasonably priced second-hand car because it would be more practical. I could also rent a luxury car occasionally when I needed one for a special event.

× Yes, I love travelling by car when I was a kid.

✓ Yes, I loved travelling by car when I was a kid.

The question asks about a past experience, so the verb love should be in the past tense: loved.

× I enjoyed watching the scenery from the window and was always curious about new places so seeing different landscapes and small towns make the trips exciting.

✓ I enjoyed watching the scenery from the window and was always curious about new places, so seeing different landscapes and small towns made the trips exciting.

The sentence describes experiences during childhood, so make should be changed to the past-tense form made. A comma is also added before so to separate the two parts clearly.

× Also when I am not driving I can relax and read or listen to music which make the trip more enjoyable.

✓ Also, when I am not driving, I can relax and read or listen to music, which makes the trip more enjoyable.

The relative pronoun which refers to the whole singular idea of relaxing and listening to music. Therefore, the verb should be makes, not make.

× I usually talk to my mum and dad when there is a traffic jam, we chat about our day or make plans for the evening, which helps me relax and pass the time.

✓ I usually talk to my mum and dad when there is a traffic jam. We chat about our day or make plans for the evening, which helps me relax and pass the time.

The original sentence joins two complete sentences with only a comma. This creates a comma splice. Use a full stop, semicolon, or suitable conjunction to connect the ideas correctly.

× They often consult an astrologer or color expert who checks the owner date of bird and suggest and recommend a suitable color.

✓ They often consult an astrologer or color expert who checks the owner's date of birth and suggests and recommends a suitable color.

The subject who refers to the singular person, an astrologer or color expert, so the verbs must be checks, suggests, and recommends. The correct expression is the owner's date of birth, not owner date of bird.

× If I have a chance to buy an expensive car in the future, I think I do not want to buy it because I think I can rent or I just look into something cheaper and second hand something like that is good.

✓ If I have the chance to buy an expensive car in the future, I do not think I will buy it because I can rent one or look for something cheaper, such as a good second-hand car.

Adjectives should come before the noun they describe. The natural order is a good second-hand car, not second hand something. The phrase something cheaper is also followed by a clear noun phrase to make the sentence easier to understand.

× If I have a chance to buy an expensive car in the future, I think I do not want to buy it because I think I can rent or I just look into something cheaper and second hand something like that is good.

✓ If I have the chance to buy an expensive car in the future, I do not think I will buy it because I can rent one or look for something cheaper, such as a good second-hand car.

The speaker is discussing a possible future purchase, so will buy is more appropriate than do not want to buy. In a first conditional sentence, the if-clause uses the present tense and the main clause commonly uses will plus the base verb.

× If I have a chance to buy an expensive car in the future, I think I do not want to buy it because I think I can rent or I just look into something cheaper and second hand something like that is good.

✓ If I have the chance to buy an expensive car in the future, I do not think I will buy it because I can rent one or look for something cheaper, such as a good second-hand car.

The original sentence contains several loosely connected ideas and an unclear phrase, second hand something. Combining the ideas into a clear conditional sentence improves the sentence structure and makes the intended meaning easier to follow.