Friends— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答切题，也做了过去和现在的对比。注意用“free places”表达免费场所不够自然，可说“free places to hang out”；“shopping halls”建议改为“shopping malls”。“a lot of options”较笼统，可以补充具体原因，例如餐厅有座位、环境舒适。避免重复使用“meet up with each other”和“communicate with each other”。

例: Yes, there is. When we were younger, we usually met in free places like parks or at home. These days, we tend to go to restaurants or shopping malls because we can choose somewhere comfortable to sit and chat.

提案: 理由清楚，并补充了安静和隐私两个方面。表达上“the most important factor is quiet”不够自然，建议说“a quiet atmosphere is important”；“peaceful and tranquil”意思重复。注意“for us to communicate and concentrate”可以简化，并用连接词自然引出隐私这一点。

例: I think a quiet atmosphere is the most important thing. It helps people focus on their conversation without being distracted by background noise. Privacy matters too, especially if they want to discuss something personal.

提案: 立场明确，解释了独处交流更深入，也说明了群体社交会带来的顾虑。删去重复的“Another”，并将“dealing with a bunch of friends”改成更自然的“spending time with a group”。“will worry me about”建议改为“makes me worry about”。

例: I prefer spending time with one friend because I feel more relaxed and we can have deeper conversations. This can help us become closer. In a group, I sometimes worry that I might say something awkward or make someone uncomfortable.

提案: 回答了“愿不愿意”，也提供了以前和现在的情况。建议把“Like before”改为完整、自然的时间表达，例如“Back when we lived near each other”；“make a big meal for us”可改为“cook a big meal together”。可拆分长句，并明确说明现在因为异地而难以邀请朋友。

例: Yes, I’d love to. When my friends and I lived near each other, we often shared meals and sometimes cooked a big dinner at my home. However, I’m studying in another province now, so we don’t get to meet very often.

提案: 回答结构清晰，有观点和理由。注意“during our happy time or hardships”前后表达不平行，可改为“in happy times and during difficult periods”；“provide us what we want”语法不自然，建议说“give us the support we need”。可减少“support”的重复。

例: Friends are very important to me because people are naturally social. They give us emotional support in both happy times and difficult periods. For example, a good friend can listen to me when I’m stressed and celebrate with me when something goes well.

提案: 回答直接，也提到了线上聊天和线下见面的区别。不过“with the development of technology”“a click thing”和“go to the technology”都不自然，建议使用“thanks to messaging apps”“just a few clicks”和“stay in touch online”。注意“often I will”与前面的“不常外出”有些矛盾，可明确说明线上联系更频繁、见面较少。

例: Not very often. We usually stay in touch through messaging apps because it only takes a few clicks to send a message. Still, we meet in person from time to time to catch up properly.

提案: 地点回答具体，也补充了去电影院的活动。注意删去重复的“of”；“in which”在这里略显正式，可直接说“where”。餐厅、咖啡馆和商场未必都适合安静交谈，因此可把重点放在有座位、方便聊天或顺便购物等特点上。

例: We usually meet at cafés or restaurants because we can sit down and chat over a drink or a meal. Sometimes we go to a shopping mall to browse the shops. If there’s a film we want to see, we’ll go to the cinema as well.

提案: 回答提供了吃饭、拍照和发动态等具体活动，但“fixed itinerary”不太适合描述日常安排；“pretty food”应表达为“food that looks attractive”；“upload on our moments”可改为“post them on our social media”。建议用清晰的顺序连接活动，并避免“pretty”重复。

例: We usually go to a restaurant first and try dishes that look appealing, although they aren’t always as tasty as they look. After that, we take some photos and post them on social media. It’s a simple routine, but we enjoy it.

提案: 回答包含了认识时间和一个有特色的友谊习惯，内容较具体。注意“there is a friend that we have known each other”结构错误，可说“I have a friend I’ve known”；“from our junior high school”建议改为“since junior high school”。“ceremonies”不适合表达送袜子的习惯，可用“traditions”，并将“treasured her”换成更自然的“value her friendship”。

例: Yes, I have a close friend I’ve known since junior high school, so it’s been about ten years. I really value her friendship. We even have a little winter tradition of sending each other a pair of soft, fluffy socks.

× I think the most important factor is quiet.

✓ I think the most important factor is quietness.

这里的 quiet 是形容词，不能自然地用来指“安静”这一因素。应使用名词 quietness，也可以说 a quiet environment。

× Another point is that dealing with a bunch of friends will worry me about whether I said something inappropriate or made somebody feel uncomfortable.

✓ Another point is that I worry about whether I might say something inappropriate or make somebody feel uncomfortable when I am with a group of friends.

原句中 dealing with a bunch of friends will worry me about 的结构不自然，且后面的过去式 said、made 与表达担忧的语境不协调。可以用“I worry about whether...”来表达担忧，并用 might say、make 表示可能发生的情况。

× Secondly we need emotional support from our friends, whether during our happy time or hardships, they can support us and provide us what we want.

✓ Secondly, we need emotional support from our friends. Whether during our happy times or difficult times, they can support us and provide us with what we need.

happy time 用单数，但 hardships 是复数，单复数不平行。这里表达不同的快乐时光，宜用 happy times；也可以将 hardships 改成 difficult times，使两部分结构更一致。

× Secondly we need emotional support from our friends, whether during our happy time or hardships, they can support us and provide us what we want.

✓ Secondly, we need emotional support from our friends. Whether during our happy times or difficult times, they can support us and provide us with what we need.

provide 表示“向某人提供某物”时，常用 provide someone with something 的结构，因此 us 后面需要加介词 with。

× It's just a click thing so often I will go to the technology but we have to meet up in reality to catch up with each other.

✓ It's just a click away, so I often turn to technology, but we have to meet in person to catch up with each other.

这里描述的是经常发生的习惯，应使用一般现在时 turn to，而不是 will go。表达频率时，often 通常放在实义动词前，例如 I often turn to technology。

× We usually choose to meet up in restaurants, cafes, or shopping malls in which we can sit and talk quietly, and there are a lot of of recreational activities that we can enjoy.

✓ We usually choose to meet up in restaurants, cafes, or shopping malls where we can sit and talk quietly, and there are a lot of recreational activities that we can enjoy.

原句中的 a lot of of 重复使用了介词 of，应删去一个。

× I think there is a fixed itinerary for my friends and I usually we head out to a restaurant and have pretty food which is in fact not very tasty as pretty as it looks like.

✓ I think my friends and I usually follow a set routine: we head out to a restaurant and have food that is not as tasty as it looks.

在原句的 for my friends and I 中，介词 for 后面应使用宾格 me，而不是主格 I。不过，调整句子结构后可以直接说 my friends and I usually follow a set routine。

× I think there is a fixed itinerary for my friends and I usually we head out to a restaurant and have pretty food which is in fact not very tasty as pretty as it looks like.

✓ I think my friends and I usually follow a set routine: we head out to a restaurant and have food that is not as tasty as it looks.

原句把 there is a fixed itinerary 和 I usually we head out 两个结构混在一起，且 I 和 we 重复作主语，造成句子结构混乱。可以改为 my friends and I usually follow a set routine，再用冒号引出具体安排。

× I think there is a fixed itinerary for my friends and I usually we head out to a restaurant and have pretty food which is in fact not very tasty as pretty as it looks like.

✓ I think my friends and I usually follow a set routine: we head out to a restaurant and have food that is not as tasty as it looks.

表达“没有看起来那么好吃”时，应使用 not as + 形容词原级 + as 的结构。原句中的 not very tasty as pretty as it looks like 混用了不同的比较结构；改为 not as tasty as it looks 即可。

× And then we take photos, upload on our moments.

✓ And then we take photos and upload them to our Moments.

表示把照片上传到某个平台或栏目时，通常使用 upload something to somewhere。这里应说 upload them to our Moments，而不是 upload on our moments。

× Yes, there is a friend that we have known each other for like ten years from our junior high school.

✓ Yes, I have a friend whom I have known for about ten years, since junior high school.

原句同时使用 we 和 each other，造成主语与相互代词的指代不一致。应明确由 I 认识这位朋友，并使用 whom 指代从句中 know 的宾语。