Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details linked with words like "for example" or "also." Avoid filler words and pronunciation errors (e.g., "often" instead of "or fantly"). Keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone and computer. For example, short five-second video ads pop up when I open some apps, and YouTube plays brief ad clips before videos.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and one or two specific details. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" to explain why it was memorable. Correct grammar (e.g., "Oreo cookie cake" or "Oreo cookie kit"). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, a memorable ad from my childhood was for an Oreo cookie kit. It showed how to bake cookies and described the flavors clearly, so I really wanted to try it because it looked fun and tasty.

提案: Answer directly and use specific vocabulary (e.g., "train stations", "billboards", "bus stops"). Avoid repetition and unclear words like "orphantly" and "big ball." Use linking words such as "also" or "for instance." Keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I see a lot of advertising on public transport. For instance, train stations and bus stops often have large billboards and posters promoting household products.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then explain with specific reasons and a short example. Use correct phrases like "I am interested" and avoid incomplete sentences. Use linking words such as "because" or "however." Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: It depends on the ad. I like ads that explain a product's function clearly because they help me decide, but I dislike ads with loud music or overly bright, distracting images.

提案: Start with a concise topic sentence and follow with specific characteristics. Use parallel structure for clarity (e.g., "simple descriptions, clear pictures, and prices"). Avoid fillers like "like" repeatedly. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer advertisements with simple descriptions, clear images, and visible prices. I also like ads that focus on the product's function without annoying music or flashing colors.

提案: Give a clear, grammatically correct account: say what you bought, where you saw the ad, and why you bought it. Use linking words like "because" and avoid questions at the end. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes. I recently bought a skincare product after seeing an ad at a train station because it claimed to help sensitive skin. I decided to try it since the ad listed ingredients and benefits that matched my needs.

× Yes or fantly especially when I try to open the apps there will be a shop advertisement like around five seconds will pop up on my screen like selling the product.

✓ Yes, often, especially when I open apps. A short shop advertisement of around five seconds pops up on my screen advertising a product.

Original sentence has unclear words ('or fantly'), run-on structure and awkward verbs. I corrected adverb choice to 'often', split into two sentences for clarity, changed 'there will be' to present simple 'pops up' to describe habitual action, and replaced 'selling the product' with 'advertising a product' for correct phrasing. Suggestion: Use 'often' for frequency, keep subject and verb close, and use present simple for habitual events.

× And when we are like watching video on YouTube, there are a short video about advertisement

✓ And when I watch videos on YouTube, there is a short advertisement video.

Subject-verb agreement and tense/number mismatch: 'we are like watching video' is informal and singular/plural inconsistent. Changed to 'I watch videos' (matches speaker) and 'there are a short video' to 'there is a short advertisement video' to match singular 'video'. Use present simple for habitual action. Suggestion: Use 'I watch videos' or 'we watch videos' consistently and ensure verb number matches noun.

× Yes, there was a super good advertisement about Oreo cook cake and that's my like really memorable impression of how the cookie kit like and it explained the function and the flavor of the cookies.

✓ Yes, there was a really good advertisement about an Oreo cookie cake, and it left a strong impression on me. It explained the components and the flavors of the cookies.

Errors include awkward phrasing ('super good', 'cook cake', 'that's my like really memorable impression', 'how the cookie kit like') and mixed tense. I used past simple 'there was' and 'left' to describe a past impression and rephrased 'explained the function and the flavor' to 'explained the components and the flavors' for clarity. Suggestion: Use concise adjectives ('really good'), correct noun phrases ('Oreo cookie cake' or 'Oreo cookie kit'), and consistent past tense when discussing past events.

× So at that time I really want to get one Oreo cookie.

✓ So at that time I really wanted to get an Oreo cookie.

Tense mismatch: 'at that time' indicates past, so 'want' should be past 'wanted'. Also use the article 'an' before 'Oreo cookie'. Suggestion: Match tense to time expressions and use appropriate articles.

× Yes I say really really really orphantly when we are on the train station there will always be a big ball like showing the housewelling product in recently and also on the bus stop it also has a really big advertisement place for

✓ Yes, I often see many advertisements. At the train station there is usually a large billboard showing household products, and there are also large advertisement displays at bus stops.

Original contains many errors: 'say really really really orphantly' is unclear, wrong prepositions ('on the train station'), incorrect nouns ('big ball', 'housewelling product'), and incomplete ending. I clarified to 'often see many advertisements', used correct prepositions 'at the train station', 'billboard' and 'household products', and completed the bus stop clause. Suggestion: Use clear, common nouns ('billboard'), correct prepositions ('at the station'), and avoid filler words.

× It really depends on what it talks about.

✓ It really depends on what it is about.

Awkward verb phrase 'what it talks about'. 'It is about' is more natural when referring to the content of an advertisement. Suggestion: Use 'it is about' or 'it concerns' for topics.

× If the advertisement is talking about describing the product function and maybe the selling pawn of that product and I will be getting interest of it if it if the like the picture is too annoying, too colourful I will

✓ If the advertisement describes the product's function and its selling points, I will be interested in it. But if the picture is too annoying or too colourful, I will not be interested.

Multiple issues: redundant and incorrect phrases ('talking about describing', 'selling pawn'), wrong pronouns and awkward structure. I replaced with 'describes the product's function and its selling points', corrected verb collocation to 'be interested in', and completed the contrasting clause with 'will not be interested'. Suggestion: Use 'selling points' for marketing features, and 'interested in' for expressing interest; avoid repetition and finish contrasts.

× I like the advertisement with their simple description, picture and price and their function and like all the things describing the product is just using the simple descriptions without like annoying songs or colorful pictures.

✓ I like advertisements that use simple descriptions, clear pictures, prices, and explanations of function, without annoying songs or colourful images.

Problems: agreement ('advertisement with their'), redundant phrasing, and informal fillers ('like'). I used plural 'advertisements' with relative clause 'that use', listed elements clearly, and removed fillers. Suggestion: Use concise lists and ensure pronoun agreement with nouns (advertisements -> their or change to plural subject with 'that use').

× Yes, of course. I have recently buy a skincare product.

✓ Yes, of course. I recently bought a skincare product.

Tense and verb form error: 'have recently buy' mixes present perfect auxiliary with base verb. Use present perfect 'have recently bought' or simple past 'recently bought'. I chose simple past 'recently bought' as appropriate for a finished recent action. Suggestion: Use correct past participle 'bought' with perfect tense or simple past for completed actions.

× It's from advertisement at the train station because it described a function that really fixed to my sensitive skin.

✓ It was an advertisement at the train station because it described a product that really suited my sensitive skin.

Problems: 'It's from advertisement' awkward; tense mismatch and incorrect verb 'fixed to'. I changed to 'It was an advertisement' and 'suited my sensitive skin' to convey that the product matched skin needs. Suggestion: Use 'suit' for compatibility (it suits my skin) and ensure tense consistency.

× So I'm pretty curious about how would they be on using on my face?

✓ So I'm pretty curious about how it would feel to use it on my face.

Incorrect question word order and pronoun number: 'how would they be on using on my face' is ungrammatical. Rephrased to indirect question 'how it would feel to use it on my face' with correct singular pronoun 'it' referring to the product. Suggestion: For indirect questions keep normal word order (subject before verb) and match pronouns to their antecedents.