Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 注意时态和单复数错误，减少填充词（如 uh），并用更自然的表达来提高流畅度。可以先给出主题句，然后用1-2个具体细节支持。比如说明广告出现的形式（弹窗、横幅）和为何觉得烦人（打断观看、影响注意力）。

例: Yes, I see ads often when I'm on my phone or computer. They usually appear as pop-ups or banner videos that interrupt what I'm watching, which I find quite annoying because they break my concentration and waste time.

提案: 避免重复和啰嗦（如 "influential influence"），用更简洁的主题句并补充具体细节（什么时候看到、哪位明星、为什么印象深刻）。也要尽量去掉填充词，控制在最多5句内。

例: Yes. A Pepsi commercial about soccer stayed with me from childhood. It featured several famous players and exciting match scenes, and I remember it because the music and visuals were very dynamic and inspiring.

提案: 句子结构混乱，词汇选择不准确（如 "avidly" 用错，"transportations" 常用复数形式应为 "transport" 或具体交通工具）。建议先回答要点，再举1-2具体例子（车厢屏幕、车站海报、机上杂志），并使用连词使逻辑清晰。

例: Yes, I see many ads on public transport. For example, trains now have screens showing short video ads, and stations and buses have posters, while airports and airplanes often feature adverts in magazines and on digital displays.

提案: 表达情感时避免绝对化（如 "hate" 多用更温和的词），注意时态一致和词汇准确（"annoyed" 用错，应为 "annoying"；"accelerations" 用词不当，可能想说夸大或夸张）。先给立场，再给2个具体原因并举例。

例: Not really. I find most ads annoying because they interrupt films or videos, and some exaggerate product benefits or make misleading claims, which makes me distrust the brand.

提案: 总体表达清晰但可更简洁自然。用更地道的词组（如 "clear product information"、"a compelling story"），并给出具体例子说明偏好（例如喜欢讲故事的短片广告或突出技术优势的广告）。保持句子不超多于五句。

例: I prefer ads that give clear product information and concrete benefits. I also like commercials that tell a compelling story or highlight a product's unique features, for example an ad that shows how a gadget solves a daily problem.

× Whenever I'm watching TV on those platform, uh, the advertisement would popped out and I would be inevitably exposed to those advertisements, which is a little bit annoying.

✓ Whenever I'm watching TV on those platforms, advertisements pop up and I inevitably get exposed to them, which is a little bit annoying.

句子存在时态与动词形式错误：1) 名词platform应为复数platforms（与those一致）属于复数问题。2) 表示经常发生的动作应使用一般现在时，不能用“would popped out”（混合了情态过去式和过去式）; 应用一般现在时“pop up”。3) “would be inevitably exposed to”结构不自然，改为主动语态“一般现在时+get exposed”。建议：使用与主句时间一致的一般现在时，注意主被动语态的自然选择，名词与指示词保持数的一致。

× Yes, there is a very impressive advertisement that gave me a strong influential influence when I was a child.

✓ Yes, there was a very impressive advertisement that had a strong influence on me when I was a child.

问题为词汇搭配与词形使用错误：1) “influential influence”重复且不自然，应使用“influence”。2) 因为说的是过去发生的事情，主语be动词应使用过去式“was”。3) 动词“gave me an influence”搭配不对，常用表达是“had an influence on someone”。建议：使用正确词汇搭配，避免冗余重复，并注意时态一致。

× It's uh, advertisement about Pepsi Cola related to soccer and there are a lot of superstars in this advertisement.

✓ It's an advertisement about Pepsi Cola related to soccer, and there are a lot of superstars in it.

主要问题：1) 缺少不定冠词“an”，因为advertisement是可数名词(single)；2) 后半句中重复使用“in this advertisement”冗长，可简化为“in it”。建议：可数名词前加冠词，避免冗余，句子更简洁。

× Uh, actually there is a screen on the trains and other transportations like airport airplanes right now.

✓ Actually, there are screens on trains and other transport, like airport displays and airplanes, right now.

问题为介词与名词搭配及单复数：1) “there is”与复数“screens”不一致，应用“there are”；2) “on the trains and other transportations”中transportation常用作不可数或用复数transport/transportation，但更自然说“on trains and other transport”；3) “airport airplanes”措辞不当，改为“airport displays and airplanes”。建议：主谓和数要一致，选择常用搭配表达交通工具和设施。

× So it would be avidly, uh, inevitably exposed to advertisement.

✓ So people are inevitably exposed to advertisements.

问题为时态与句子主语缺失：原句中用“would be … exposed”不符合一般事实陈述，且缺少主语（it不指代明确对象）。改为一般现在时描述普遍现象，并用复数“advertisements”。建议：陈述一般事实用一般现在时，并明确主语。

× Also there are some paper and newspaper that released advertisement.

✓ Also, there are some papers and newspapers that carry advertisements.

问题为冠词与名词形式使用不当：1) “paper”应为复数“papers”或用不可数时改表达；2) “newspaper that released advertisement”搭配不恰当，报纸通常“carry”或“contain”advertisements，且advertisement应为复数。建议：注意名词单复数及动词搭配，使用常见搭配如“carry advertisements”。

× No not really. Actually I hate them because they just interrupt me when I was when I'm watching television or do some entertainment.

✓ No, not really. Actually I hate them because they just interrupt me when I'm watching television or doing some entertainment.

问题为时态混用与动名词形式：原句中同时出现“when I was”与“when I'm”，时态混乱，应统一为一般现在进行时“when I'm watching”或“when I'm doing some entertainment”。此外“do some entertainment”不自然，应用动名词“doing some entertainment”或更自然的表达“doing leisure activities”。建议：保持时态一致，使用正确的动名词形式和更自然搭配。

× Also advertisement is all about accelerations or even false information which is very annoyed.

✓ Also advertisements are often full of exaggerations or even false information, which is very annoying.

问题为词形和词汇选择：1) advertisement应为复数advertisements以泛指；2) “accelerations”用词错误，正确应为“exaggerations”（夸张）；3) “which is very annoyed”错误，应为形容词“annoying”来描述让人感到恼火的事物，而不是“annoyed”描述人的感受。建议：注意可数名词复数、词义选择及形容词/过去分词的使用。

× I would appreciate advertising with a specific description of their brand or their product.

✓ I appreciate advertisements that give a specific description of their brand or product.

问题：词类和代词一致性及时态：1) 原句用“would appreciate”显得不必要的假设语气，简单陈述喜好用一般现在时“appreciate”；2) “advertising”可改为可数名词“advertisements”更明确；3) “their brand or their product”重复使用their可合并为“their brand or product”。建议：表达喜好用一般现在时，保持代词一致并简化重复。

× In addition, I also like advertisement that could tell a very impressive story or show their competitiveness in a very special way.

✓ In addition, I also like advertisements that tell a very impressive story or show their competitiveness in a special way.

问题为代词和时态：1) 将单数advertisement改为复数advertisements以匹配泛指；2) “could tell”用不必要的情态动词，改为一般现在时“tell”；3) “their competitiveness”指代不明但可接受，句中保持一致性可保留。建议：泛指时用复数，表达偏好用一般现在时，避免不必要的情态动词。