Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar and name confusion, and add one supporting detail with a linking word. Use present simple consistently and limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I see advertisements on my phone and computer every day because I use social media a lot. Moreover, since I work in digital marketing, I often study ads to learn new techniques and trends.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about a memorable ad, avoid filler words and repeated phrases, and provide a specific reason why it impressed you using a linking word. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes. One advertisement that impressed me was for a colorful shampoo when I was a child because it used bright animations and a catchy jingle. As a result, I remembered the brand for years and wanted my parents to buy it.

提案: Answer directly and give specific examples with linking words. Correct tense and sentence structure, avoid trailing fragments, and explain briefly how often you notice them.

例: Yes, I often see advertising on trains when I commute to work. For example, there are posters for new movies and promotional panels for the latest tech products, so I notice several ads every day.

提案: Start with a clear opinion, then give one or two concise supporting reasons. Remove hesitations and correct verbs (e.g., 'produce content' or 'design ads'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I enjoy advertisements because I work in content and brand design. For that reason, I find it interesting to create campaigns and study how different ads influence customers.

提案: Give a direct answer naming the type of ads, then give a specific reason and an example. Reduce hesitations and choose accurate vocabulary (e.g., 'makeup products' not 'makeups'). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer advertisements for consumer products, especially makeup products, because I love cosmetics. For example, a beauty ad that shows clear before-and-after results usually catches my attention and inspires me to try the product.

× And yes, especially since social media has been improved, I see advertisement every day and I and because I work in this field, it's so important for me to watch Neil Edwards Edward advertisement.

✓ And yes, especially since social media has improved, I see advertisements every day, and because I work in this field, it's very important for me to watch Neil Edwards' advertisements.

Multiple issues: 'has been improved' is passive and unnatural; 'social media has improved' (present perfect active) is more natural (Grammar problem type 6). 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' because of 'every day' and general reference (Grammar problem type 1). Remove duplicate 'I and' and add comma for clarity; 'it's so important' -> 'it's very important' is more natural (adverb choice, type 13). Possessive name 'Neil Edwards Edward advertisement' is unclear; likely 'Neil Edwards' advertisements (possessive) or correct name. Suggestion: use active perfect 'has improved', pluralize count nouns for general frequency, and use possessive for named creator.

× Yes, actually when I was a child, I really cannot, uh, advertisement and I usually saw them and, and there was a advertisement about a shampoo that, uh, it's so colorful.

✓ Yes, actually when I was a child, I couldn't remember advertisements well, but I usually saw them, and there was an advertisement for a shampoo that was very colorful.

Original mixes tenses and fragments; 'I really cannot, uh, advertisement' is ungrammatical and likely intended 'I couldn't remember advertisements' (Grammar problem type 26). Use past tense 'couldn't' to match 'when I was a child' (Grammar problem type 5). 'a advertisement' should be 'an advertisement' (article error, type 22). 'about a shampoo' -> 'for a shampoo' (preposition error, type 11). Replace 'it's so colorful' with past 'was very colorful' to maintain past narration (type 5). Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and correct articles and prepositions.

× It was so colorful and I really enjoy to watching it.

✓ It was so colorful and I really enjoyed watching it.

Tense and verb form errors: speaker is describing a past event so use past tense 'enjoyed' (type 5). 'to watching' is incorrect; after 'enjoy' use the gerund 'watching' (type 8). Also keep consistent past narrative. Suggestion: use 'enjoyed watching' or 'liked watching' for past events.

× Yes, usually when I go to work by train I see new advertisement about cinemas, movies and. Newest product so it was so.

✓ Yes, usually when I go to work by train I see new advertisements about cinemas, movies, and the newest products.

'new advertisement' should be plural 'new advertisements' (singular/plural issue, type 1). 'about cinemas, movies and. Newest product' is fragmented; join list and use plural 'products' and add definite article 'the newest products' if referring to recent releases (article error, type 22). Remove trailing 'so it was so' which is unclear (sentence structure error, type 26). Suggestion: use plural nouns for general references and correct articles; avoid sentence fragments.

× Yes. I really enjoy uh advertisement because I work uh, in this field and I uh, design content and prod produce content about uh, products and brand identity.

✓ Yes. I really enjoy advertisements because I work in this field and I design and produce content about products and brand identity.

'enjoy advertisement' should be 'enjoy advertisements' (plural issue, type 1). Redundant filler words removed. 'prod produce' is a repetition/typo. Use parallel verbs 'design and produce content' — after 'design' and 'produce' no additional preposition needed. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements and clean parallel verb structures.

× So, uh, I really enjoy to design advertisements.

✓ So I really enjoy designing advertisements.

After 'enjoy' use the gerund form, not the infinitive: 'enjoy designing' (type 8). Suggestion: practice verb patterns: enjoy + -ing, like/love + -ing or infinitive depending on nuance.

× Umm, the advertisements that are about, uh, prod, uh, products and especially makeup products because I really love makeups and uh, when I see the advertising related to them, I really enjoy it.

✓ Umm, advertisements about products, especially makeup products, because I really love makeup, and when I see advertisements related to them, I really enjoy them.

Several errors: 'the advertisements that are about' is wordy; 'advertisements about products' is concise. 'makeups' is incorrect plural; 'makeup' is an uncountable noun (quantifier/adjective error, type 14/13). 'the advertising related to them' -> 'advertisements related to them' keeps countable reference and agrees with 'them' (pronoun issue, type 12). Suggestion: use 'makeup' as uncountable and match pronouns to plural 'advertisements'.