Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 用词和句子结构需更自然并注意流利度与紧凑性。回答应直接开门见山（主题句），随后用1-2个具体细节支持。避免不正确或不恰当的词（如“yearning meaning”），并用连接词使表达连贯。可以把例子限定在一两个典型场景，句子不宜过长。

例: Yes, I see a lot of ads on my phone. For example, when I open apps like TikTok and Xiaohongshu, full-screen video ads often play before the content, which I find very annoying because they interrupt my browsing. As a result, I sometimes buy the ad-free version.

提案: 句子语法和时态需修正，表达应更准确并注意礼貌措辞。开头应先明确回答（Yes/No + 简短描述），然后用具体细节说明为什么印象深刻并表达感受。避免模糊或错误单词（如“ruling”）。

例: Yes. When I was a child I remember an animal welfare advert that upset me. It showed a group of animals playing happily until a predator attacked, which was very shocking and made me feel sad because it highlighted the danger faced by endangered species.

提案: 注意句子流畅性和词汇精确性，使用恰当的连接词并修正搭配错误（如“appeal commuters to have a track”）。可给出一两个具体例子说明广告位置和效果，以增强内容具体性。

例: Yes, there are many ads on public transport. For instance, on my commute to school I often see eye-catching posters and digital screens promoting restaurants and shops. These ads are effective because they target commuters at meal times and make it convenient for people to visit nearby places.

提案: 表达需更简洁明了并纠正错误用词（如“yearning”，“snow the apps done”）。先给出直接回答，然后用2个具体原因支持，运用适当连接词（for example/so）并提出解决方法（如付费去广告）。

例: Not really. I find many ads intrusive because they interrupt videos and slow down the app. For example, full-screen ads on TikTok break the viewing experience, so I sometimes pay for the ad-free version.

提案: 回答结构基本清晰，但可更具体说明喜欢的广告形式和原因，使用更自然词汇（例如“animal welfare ads”），并用连接词扩展一两点细节。保持句子数量不超过五句。

例: I prefer animal welfare advertisements. They often use emotional stories or visuals to raise awareness about endangered species, and I find them powerful because they encourage people to donate or take action to protect animals.

× Yes, I often see advertisements when I use my smart phone.

✓ Yes, I often see advertisements on my smartphone.

原句中使用介词“when”搭配“use my smart phone”并不常用于表达在设备上看到广告的场景；更自然的表达是使用介词“on”表示“在（设备）上”。建议用“on my smartphone/phone”。此外“smart phone”应写作“smartphone”。

× Every time I open apps like red book or TikTok, there are yearning meaning commercial advertisements, especially in first screen ones before watching videos, which I find quite annoying.

✓ Every time I open apps like Redbook or TikTok, there are annoying commercial advertisements, especially on the first screen before watching videos, which I find quite annoying.

原句中存在几处问题：1) 专有名词“Redbook”首字母应大写；2) “yearning meaning”不是合适搭配，应为“annoying”；3) 介词用法错误，“in first screen ones”应为“on the first screen”；4) 冗余表述“which I find quite annoying”可保留，建议改为自然的短语。上述问题属冠词/词语使用和介词问题。

× When was a child I saw an animal advertisement which ruling frustrated me.

✓ When I was a child, I saw an animal advertisement that really frustrated me.

原句语序错误且缺少主语“I”在从句中，应为“When I was a child”。“which ruling frustrated me”为不正确结构，应改为“that really frustrated me”或“which really frustrated me”。同时“animal advertisement”可接受，但更自然的是“an advertisement about animals”。

× It showed that many animals playing happy together and suddenly a predator appeared and killed some of them, which I found shocking and heartbreaking.

✓ It showed many animals playing happily together, and suddenly a predator appeared and killed some of them, which I found shocking and heartbreaking.

“playing happy”形容词用法错误，应使用副词“playing happily”。句子还需要在并列结构处加连词或标点以保持流畅。

× When I commute to school, there are many eye catching posters and digital screens advertising well known restaurants, which I think are effective because they often appeal commuters to have a track.

✓ When I commute to school, there are many eye-catching posters and digital screens advertising well-known restaurants, which I think are effective because they often encourage commuters to try them.

原句问题有：1) 形容词连写应加连字符“eye-catching”、“well-known”；2) 介词搭配错误“appeal commuters to have a track”不合适，正确说法是“encourage commuters to try them”或“appeal to commuters”。“have a track”是错误短语。以上属于介词/搭配与词语选择问题。

× I don't really like advertisements. They yearning appear in apps like TikTok or Redbook interrupt my videos and browsing and they can snow the apps done so I sometimes prefer to pay for an app free version.

✓ I don't really like advertisements. They often appear in apps like TikTok or Redbook, interrupting my videos and browsing, and they can slow the apps down, so I sometimes prefer to pay for an ad-free version of an app.

原句有多个问题：1) “yearning”用错词，应为“often”；2) 结构需改为现在分词短语“interrupting my videos and browsing”；3) “snow the apps done”完全错误，应为“slow the apps down”；4) “an app free version”词序与用法错误，应为“an ad-free version of an app”。总体为形容/副词用法和句子结构问题。

× Actually I prefer animal advertisements because I think advertising is a great way to appeal people's attention to protect endangered animals.

✓ Actually, I prefer advertisements about animals because I think advertising is a great way to attract people's attention to the protection of endangered animals.

原句问题：1) “appeal people's attention”用法错误，正确应为“attract people's attention”或“appeal to people's emotions”；2) “to protect endangered animals”在此语境中应名词化为“the protection of endangered animals”或改为不定式“to help protect endangered animals”。建议使用更自然的搭配“attract people's attention to the protection of endangered animals”或“help protect endangered animals”。