Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct key vocabulary (advertisements, Facebook, scrolling), and give one brief supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition and repair phrases.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone when I scroll through Facebook. For example, I usually notice short video ads between posts, so I end up seeing new ads several times a day.

提案: Use past tense and clearer vocabulary to describe memories. Begin with a direct statement about a memorable ad, then give a specific detail and a reason using linking words (because/so). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, one memorable advertisement from my childhood was a toy commercial on TV. It impressed me because it showed children playing happily with the toy, so I wanted to buy it.

提案: Be concise and use correct terms (advertisements, public transport, posters). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example and a linking word to explain frequency or reason.

例: Yes, I see a lot of advertisements on public transport. For instance, trains and bus stops often have large posters and digital screens, so I notice them whenever I commute.

提案: Clarify your opinion and use relevant vocabulary (advertisements, benefits, features). State your preference, then give one clear reason and a concrete example with linking words like for example or because.

例: Yes, I like some advertisements because they explain the product's benefits. For example, a shoe ad that shows how comfortable and supportive the shoes are would help me decide to buy them.

提案: Use precise vocabulary (beauty products, demonstrations, features like long-lasting). Start with the type you prefer, then explain why with a specific example. Avoid vague words like 'buffet' or 'profit' when you mean 'benefits' or 'effects'.

例: I prefer advertisements for beauty products because they often demonstrate how a product works. For example, a lipstick ad that shows it staying on for hours and resisting smudging would catch my attention.

× Yes, I often see the as retirements on my phone every time when I repair the Facebook.

✓ Yes, I often see the advertisements on my phone every time when I read Facebook.

The original uses 'the as retirements' which is incorrect word choice and article use. 'Advertisements' is plural and needs no 'the' here; 'repair the Facebook' is wrong verb — use 'read Facebook' or 'use Facebook'. Suggest using 'Advertisements' and 'read Facebook' to match meaning and correct article and noun choice. Grammar problem type ID:22

× Yes, when I was a child, I have very interesting about that as retirement because the as retirement they show about the profits with the product that is make me umm interacting with that product.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I was very interested in that advertisement because it showed the product's benefits, which made me want to try the product.

Tenses and verb forms are inconsistent: 'when I was a child' requires past tense throughout. 'have very interesting' is incorrect; use 'was very interested'. 'as retirement' should be 'advertisement'. 'they show' should be 'it showed' (singular 'advertisement'). 'profits with the product' should be 'product's benefits'. 'that is make me interacting' should be 'which made me want to try' to express the past result. Keep past tense for coherence. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Yes, I have to see, uh, at retirement every time when I go to the public transport, uh, I have to see like on the port, uh, I mean the poster, OK.

✓ Yes, I have to see advertisements every time I take public transport; I often see posters on the platform.

'at retirement' is wrong and should be 'advertisements'. Article misuse: 'the poster' is acceptable but more natural is 'posters'. 'public transport' does not need 'the'. Also 'on the port' likely intended 'on the platform' or 'on posters'. Simplify for clarity and correct article use. Grammar problem type ID:22

× Yes, I like Ash retirement because at retirement they show the profit with the product, they can show what it work for that product. For example, if they as retirement about the shoes, they can choose what comfortable with that suit.

✓ Yes, I like those advertisements because they show the benefits of the product and how it works. For example, if the advertisement is about shoes, they can show how comfortable they are.

Multiple article and word-choice errors: 'Ash retirement' should be 'those advertisements'. 'show the profit' should be 'show the benefits'. 'what it work for that product' should be 'how it works'. 'as retirement about the shoes' should be 'advertisement is about shoes'. 'what comfortable with that suit' should be 'how comfortable they are'. Correct articles and nouns and use plural agreement. Grammar problem type ID:22

× I really love advertising about the beauty because the beauty show, uh, show me about the buffet with the product. For example, they show about their profit with the long lasting about the lipstick that make me very interesting.

✓ I really like beauty advertisements because they show me the benefits of the products. For example, they show that their lipstick is long-lasting, which makes me very interested.

'beauty show' should be 'beauty advertisements' or 'beauty ads'. 'show me about the buffet with the product' is unintelligible; intended 'show me the benefits of the product'. 'their profit with the long lasting about the lipstick' should be 'that their lipstick is long-lasting'. 'make me very interesting' should be 'makes me very interested'. Correct adjective/adverb forms and causative relationships; ensure subject-verb agreement and proper adjective use. Grammar problem type ID:13}]}