Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Keep answers concise and directly relevant. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I see a lot of ads on my devices.”), then add one or two specific details or examples. Avoid unclear phrases and pronunciation errors that confuse meaning. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “for instance”) to connect your ideas and check grammar (subject-verb agreement and correct tense).

例: Yes, I see many ads on my phone and computer. For example, when I watch YouTube videos, pre-roll ads and pop-ups often interrupt me, which is quite annoying because they break my concentration.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and then give a specific memory with details (when, what happened, why it impressed you). Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition. Add linking words like “for example” or “because” to make the answer coherent. Keep to 2–3 sentences to be natural and concise.

例: Yes, the Barbie commercials impressed me when I was a child. For example, a colourful TV ad showed many dolls and accessories, and because it looked so fun I really wanted to collect them, which is why the advertisement stuck in my memory.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer structure: topic sentence, brief supporting detail, and a linking word. Avoid vague or incorrect vocabulary (e.g., “often” not “Ofteny”) and unclear descriptions. Give a specific example (bus, train, taxi) and correct grammar. Keep sentences short and logical.

例: I don't travel by public transport very often, but when I do I notice many ads. For instance, trains and buses often have posters inside and car exteriors display ads, and even ride-share cars sometimes show promotions on their windows.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because” or “so”). Avoid long unclear lists and fix grammar (plural/singular, verb forms). Use concrete examples of ads that felt misleading rather than vague statements like “they're a trick.”

例: No, I don't like advertisements because many seem exaggerated. For example, cleaning product ads often claim perfect results, but in my experience they don't work as well as shown, so I distrust those advertisements.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence naming the type you prefer, then give one specific reason and an example. Keep language simple and correct verb forms (e.g., “I am influenced,” not “I also getting influenced”). Avoid hedging words like “probably” repeatedly. Use linking words such as “because” and “for example.”

例: I prefer makeup advertisements because I am interested in cosmetics. For example, beauty ads often show colour swatches and tutorials, and these visuals sometimes influence which brands or shades I decide to try.

× Yes, every time while I was doing something with my phone or computer or tablet, I just see a lot of advertisements and actually that annoys me a lot because I'm just trying to do something or watching some video on YouTube and advertisements are coming off the knee like almost a sex.

✓ Yes, whenever I was using my phone, computer, or tablet, I saw a lot of advertisements, and they annoyed me a lot because I was just trying to do something or watch a video on YouTube, and advertisements kept appearing frequently.

The original mixes present and past continuous forms incorrectly and uses awkward phrases like 'coming off the knee like almost a sex.' Use consistent past progressive/past simple for past habits (was using, saw, annoyed, was trying, watch -> watch becomes watch in infinitive after 'trying to'). Replace unclear idiom with 'kept appearing frequently.' Use parallel verb forms and correct verb phrases.

× That's why they actually annoys me a lot and I don't get anything from the advertise.

✓ That's why they actually annoy me a lot, and I don't get anything from the advertisements.

'They' is plural so the verb should be 'annoy' not 'annoys' (subject-verb agreement). 'Advertise' is a verb; the correct noun is 'advertisements' (plural to match 'they').

× Yes, probably there are lots, but as I remember, the Barbie ones are one of the advertisement that's actually affects me and influence me a lot.

✓ Yes, there were probably a lot, but as I remember, the Barbie ones were some of the advertisements that actually affected and influenced me a lot.

Mixes singular and plural: 'one of the advertisement' is incorrect; must be 'one of the advertisements' or 'some of the advertisements.' Tense should be past ('were', 'affected', 'influenced') to match 'when I was a child.' Also ensure verb agreement: 'that ... affected and influenced me.'

× Because when I was a kid I just saw an advertisement about Barbie and I just really want that to become my one of my biggest Barbie collection.

✓ Because when I was a kid I saw an advertisement about Barbie and I really wanted it to become one of the biggest items in my Barbie collection.

Pronoun/reference and tense errors: 'want' should be past 'wanted' to match 'when I was a kid.' 'That' is vague; use 'it' to refer to the advertisement or the toy. 'My one of my biggest Barbie collection' is ungrammatical; use 'one of the biggest items in my Barbie collection.'

× That's why it's actually impressed me.

✓ That's why it actually impressed me.

The present tense 'it's' (it is) is incorrect when referring to a past impression. Use past simple 'it impressed me.'

× I'm actually not using that much transportation, but as I remembered while I was using Ofteny, there are so many I think on coverage like at the outside of the cars are also had some advertisements as well like Ubers and also that's actually a kind of advertisement for me.

✓ I don't use public transportation very much, but when I did use it, I noticed many advertisements on the outside of cars and on services like Uber; those also feel like advertisements to me.

Mixed and incorrect tenses ('I'm actually not using', 'as I remembered while I was using Ofteny') and many awkward phrases. Use present simple for general habit ('I don't use') and past simple for past observation ('when I did use, I noticed'). Correct nouns ('public transportation', 'Uber') and simplify phrasing for clarity.

× No, because I know that they're a trick. That's why I don't actually really like advertisements and I actually didn't get anything prevent advertisements because I know that everything is made-up and I know that thing is not works for my hair or for the cleaning house or for watching washing my dishes.

✓ No, because I know they are a trick. That's why I don't really like advertisements, and I don't get anything from them, because I know many claims are made up and the products do not work for my hair, for cleaning the house, or for washing my dishes.

Modal/auxiliary and verb form issues: 'didn't get anything prevent advertisements' is ungrammatical. Use 'don't get anything from them.' 'Is not works' should be 'do not work.' Replace awkward 'watching washing my dishes' with 'washing my dishes.' Consistent tense and correct auxiliary verbs improve clarity.

× I know that that product is not really good, but they know how to like sell.

✓ I know that the product is not very good, but advertisers know how to sell it.

Pronoun reference and word choice: 'they know how to like sell' is incorrect. Use 'advertisers' or 'they' with clear antecedent and 'sell it.' Also 'not really good' -> 'not very good.'

× Like probably none of them, but if I had to choose one of them from each, probably I would choose the makeup ones because I'm interested in makeup so much.

✓ Probably none of them, but if I had to choose, I would choose the makeup advertisements because I am very interested in makeup.

The phrase 'one of them from each' is unclear and ungrammatical. Use 'if I had to choose' and 'makeup advertisements.' 'Interested in makeup so much' -> 'very interested in makeup.' Maintain proper noun phrases and plural forms.

× And sometimes actually, if I had to be true, truly like truthful, sometimes I also getting influenced by some of the makeup brands and some of the colors of the popular.

✓ And sometimes, to be honest, I do get influenced by some makeup brands and by popular colors.

Incorrect gerund and auxiliary usage: 'I also getting influenced' should be 'I also get influenced' or 'I am influenced.' Remove redundant phrases 'if I had to be true, truly like truthful' and replace with 'to be honest.' 'Some of the colors of the popular' is ungrammatical; use 'popular colors.'