Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答基本能直接回应问题，但句子结构和用词有些不自然与重复。可改进：1) 开头用一句主题句更简洁（控制在1句）；2) 用更地道的词替换不自然表达（如“pop advertisements”改为“pop-up ads”，“It pursues people to buy things”改为“they encourage people to buy”）；3) 使用一两个连接词并补充具体例子或频率以丰富内容。示例句保持不超过5句。

例: Yes, I see ads almost every time I use my phone or browse the web. Most of them are pop-up ads from online shops, and they often encourage impulse purchases by showing limited-time discounts. Because they appear so frequently, they can be quite distracting.

提案: 回答有情感和具体内容，但语言有重复和语法小错误。可改进：1) 去掉重复的“Yes, yes.”，直接给主题句；2) 将被动或不自然短语调整（如“What most memorable advertisement was”改为“The most memorable ad was”）；3) 加入一两句具体细节（例如广告的画面或一句台词）并使用连接词，使表达更生动。

例: The most memorable ad from my childhood was a public service announcement about protecting elephants. It showed heartbreaking images of ivory trade and urged viewers not to buy or sell ivory. That message stayed with me because it made the consequences very clear.

提案: 回答直接但有语法和词汇错误，表达不够精确。改进建议：1) 注意冠词和复数（“on bus”→“on buses”）；2) 用恰当的动词和从句（“This advertise”→“They advertise”或“These ads promote”）；3) 使用连接词并给出具体例子或位置（如车厢内、车门旁）来丰富细节。

例: Yes, there are adverts almost everywhere on public transport — inside train carriages, on platform walls and on the backs of seats. These ads usually promote drinks, snacks or local services, often placed where passengers can easily see them.

提案: 回答展示了对不同类型广告的偏好，但语法与词汇需改进。改进要点：1) 使两个对比部分更平衡并使用连接词（e.g. “however”）；2) 注意时态和搭配（“story telling advertisements”→“storytelling ads”; “They brought me lots of thoughts”→“They make me think”）；3) 可举例说明为何某个广告有意义。

例: I dislike pop-up ads because they interrupt my activities; however, I enjoy storytelling ads. Story-driven adverts often have emotional plots or memorable characters that make me reflect on the message and remember the brand.

提案: 回答清晰但有时态和数一致问题，且略有重复。改进建议：1) 使用一致的时态和单复数（“advertisements which leave”→“ads that leave”; “a public service advertisements”→“a public service ad”）；2) 简洁地给出原因并用连接词扩展细节（例如说明广告如何打动你）；3) 控制在最多5句内。

例: I prefer storytelling ads that leave a strong impression because they connect emotionally and often carry a meaningful message. For example, a public service ad about protecting elephants used powerful visuals and a moving voice-over, which made the issue feel very real to me.

× Yes, every time I browse the web or use the phone, I usually see many advertisements, especially the pop advertisements for online shops.

✓ Yes, every time I browse the web or use my phone, I usually see many advertisements, especially pop-up advertisements for online shops.

主谓一致/搭配问题：原句中用法不当（"use the phone"在此情境更常用"use my phone"；"pop advertisements"应为固定词组"pop-up advertisements"）。建议使用更自然的词语搭配以符合英语表达习惯。

× It pursues people to buy things because it promotes sales.

✓ They encourage people to buy things because they promote sales.

形容词/副词或代词使用错误：原句用"It pursues people to buy things"语法和语义都不正确，应使用动词"encourage"且与主语复数"advertisements"一致，代词也应相应改为复数。建议用"encourage"或"persuade"并保持主谓一致。

× Yes, yes. What most memorable advertisement was a public service advertisement about protecting elephants.

✓ Yes, yes. The most memorable advertisement was a public service announcement about protecting elephants.

过去时/句子结构错误与词汇搭配：句子缺少冠词并且词序不自然（"What most memorable"应为"The most memorable"）。另外更常见词为"public service announcement"而非重复使用"advertisement"。建议使用定冠词并调整词序。

× It urged people not to sell or buy ivory to prevent killing elephants.

✓ It urged people not to sell or buy ivory in order to prevent the killing of elephants.

情态/连词或句子结构问题：原句中不定式短语"to prevent killing elephants"不太清楚，需改为"in order to prevent the killing of elephants"或"to prevent elephants from being killed"以更清晰和自然。建议使用被动结构或加介词短语明确动作的承受者。

× Yes, advertisements are everywhere, on trains, on bus and on subways.

✓ Yes, advertisements are everywhere: on trains, on buses and on subways.

介词/复数形式使用错误："on bus"应为复数"on buses"；此外在列举时可用冒号或并列结构连接更自然。建议注意可数名词的复数形式。

× This advertise drinks, snacks and other products which attractive people to buy things.

✓ These advertise drinks, snacks and other products that attract people to buy things.

形容词/副词使用及词类错误："This advertise"主谓不一致且词性错误，应为复数代词"These"或更自然主语为"These ads"或"These advertisements"；"which attractive people"应为定语从句"that attract people"或"which attract people"并使用动词"attract"。建议使用正确的主语形式并在从句中使用动词而非形容词。

× Well, I dislike pop-up advertisements because they always interrupt what I am doing, but I enjoy the story telling advertisements.

✓ Well, I dislike pop-up advertisements because they always interrupt what I am doing, but I enjoy the storytelling advertisements.

现在时/词汇搭配错误："story telling"应合写为复合词"storytelling"。建议使用正确写法以符合现代英语写作习惯。

× They brought me lots of thoughts and they are really meaningful.

✓ They give me a lot to think about and they are really meaningful.

时态问题：原句"They brought me lots of thoughts"使用过去式不符合说话者泛指现在仍有感受的语境，应使用现在时"They give me a lot to think about"或"They have given me a lot to think about"。此外"lots of thoughts"不自然，建议用短语"a lot to think about"。

× Well, I really enjoyed the storytelling advertisements which leave me a deep impression and they were really meaningful.

✓ Well, I really enjoy storytelling advertisements which leave a deep impression on me; they are really meaningful.

现在时/过去时混用错误：句中既有过去式"enjoyed"和"were"又有现在时"leave"，时态不一致。应根据语境选择现在时（表示一般喜好），并调整短语为固定表达"leave a deep impression on someone"。建议全句统一使用现在时或明确时间点使用过去时。

× For example, I like a public service advertisements about protecting elephants.

✓ For example, I like a public service advertisement about protecting elephants.

冠词/复数错误：原句中"a"与复数"advertisements"冲突，且应使用单数形式与不定冠词一致或去掉不定冠词改为复数。建议保持冠词与名词数一致，例如"a public service advertisement"或"public service advertisements"。