Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh) and correct article and word order errors (e.g., “on social networking sites,” “all the web advertisements”).

例: Yes. I see many advertisements when I use my phone or computer. For example, they often appear on social networking sites and in mobile apps, and they usually reflect my recent searches or shopping history.

提案: Answer directly and use past tense for childhood memories. Add one or two specific details and a linking word. Correct capitalization and phrasing (e.g., “catchy jingle,” “festive scenes”).

例: Yes. A Coca‑Cola commercial impressed me when I was a child because it had a catchy jingle and warm festive scenes. As a result, it made me feel nostalgic and I used to look forward to seeing it on TV.

提案: Fix the inappropriate word choice and be specific about who is reached. Provide a clear main sentence, then explain with a linked detail. Replace “computers” with “commuters” and avoid vague claims.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on trains and buses, mainly as posters or digital screens. Because these ads are seen by many commuters during their journeys, they help companies increase brand awareness.

提案: Organize your response: state your opinion clearly, give a concise reason with one or two specific examples, and avoid repetitions and fillers. Use correct grammar and simpler phrasing to explain how ads interrupt you.

例: No, I don’t like advertisements because they interrupt movies and break my concentration. For instance, when an ad appears in the middle of a film I am watching, I lose focus and become annoyed.

提案: Use correct word forms and complete sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific reason and an example. Fix grammar: “humorous advertising,” “remember the product,” and finish the example sentence.

例: I prefer humorous advertising because it makes me laugh and helps me remember the product. For example, a recent funny TV commercial stayed in my mind for weeks and made me want to try that brand.

× I usually see them on or network social sites, uh, websites or while using some apps.

✓ I usually see them on social networking sites, websites, or while using some apps.

The phrase 'on or network social sites' uses incorrect word order and a wrong preposition. Use the preposition 'on' with 'social networking sites' and the correct noun order 'social networking sites'. Also add commas to separate items in a list. Suggestion: say 'on social networking sites' and list items with commas.

× I generally notice that the all the web advertisement I see is based on my recent research or shopping habits.

✓ I generally notice that all the web advertisements I see are based on my recent research or shopping habits.

The original has redundant and incorrect article usage ('the all the') and a singular/plural mismatch ('advertisement' with 'all' and singular verb 'is'). Remove the extra article, pluralize 'advertisements' to match 'all', and change the verb to plural 'are'. Suggestion: ensure articles are not duplicated and make noun and verb agree in number.

× Yes, I remember a Coca-Cola advertisement from my childhood. It has a catchy Jingle and warm festive signs that made me feel nostalgic so I always look forward to seeing on TV.

✓ Yes, I remember a Coca-Cola advertisement from my childhood. It had a catchy jingle and warm festive images that made me feel nostalgic, so I always looked forward to seeing it on TV.

The sentence mixes present and past tense inconsistently. Because the memory refers to childhood, use past tense ('had', 'made', 'looked forward') and correct noun ('images' instead of 'signs') and include the object 'it' after 'seeing'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent (use past for past memories) and include necessary objects.

× They cover almost every surface and help companies promote their brand awareness by reaching lots of computers.

✓ They cover almost every surface and help companies promote their brand by reaching a lot of consumers.

'Lots of computers' is an incorrect quantifier and wrong target; advertisements reach people, not computers. Also 'brand awareness' is fine but to be concise use 'promote their brand' or 'promote brand awareness'. Suggestion: use appropriate quantifiers and refer to 'consumers' or 'people' instead of 'computers'.

× Oh no not at all. I feel very irritating whenever I see advertisement because uh it Whenever I see some movie and some ad comes in between my I got got hold to send my all interest quotes gets null.

✓ Oh no, not at all. I feel very irritated whenever I see advertisements because when I watch a movie and an ad comes on, I lose interest.

The original is ungrammatical and contains wrong word choices and repeated fragments ('it Whenever', 'I got got hold to send my all interest quotes gets null'). Replace with a clear structure: 'I feel very irritated... when I watch a movie and an ad comes on, I lose interest.' Use 'irritated' (adjective describing feeling), plural 'advertisements', and a simple result clause. Suggestion: simplify sentences and avoid filler words; choose correct adjective forms.

× Well, I usually prefer the humour advertising because they make me laugh and feel relaxed, so I remember product very easily.

✓ Well, I usually prefer humorous advertising because it makes me laugh and feel relaxed, so I remember products very easily.

'Humour advertising' is incorrect adjective form and 'they' refers to 'advertising' which is uncountable; use 'humorous' and treat 'advertising' as singular ('it makes'). Also 'product' should be plural 'products' when speaking generally. Suggestion: use correct adjective forms and keep noun-verb number agreement.

× For example, a funny TV commercial I saw recently stuck in my mind for weeks and made me want to try the.

✓ For example, a funny TV commercial I saw recently stuck in my mind for weeks and made me want to try the product.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'try the' missing the object. Add the appropriate object 'product' or specify what was being tried. Suggestion: always include complete objects after verbs like 'try' and ensure sentences are complete.