Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar (e.g., plural/singular, articles), and give one specific example. Use a linking phrase for the second sentence.

例: Yes — I see a lot of ads on my phone in my spare time, especially on social media like Instagram and YouTube. For example, I often get ads for snack brands and soft drinks after watching food videos.

提案: Clarify the idea and fix grammar. Begin with a direct answer (Yes/No) and give one clear reason and a brief specific example. Avoid unclear words and tense errors.

例: Yes — an ad that impressed me was for a toy car I saw on TV. I remember deciding I wanted that exact toy because the ad showed bright colors and fun music, so I asked my parents for it.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer vocabulary. Start with a topic sentence (Yes/No), then explain why with a specific point and an example. Remove filler words and improve sentence structure.

例: Yes — I see many ads on trains and buses. They are useful for companies because they reach commuters; for instance, I often notice posters for local restaurants on the subway.

提案: Use present tense for general likes/dislikes and give a concise reason plus a brief example. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one supporting detail using a linking word like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Not really — I don't like most ads because they interrupt my shows and feel like a waste of time, so I usually skip or fast-forward them.

提案: Be specific about the types and give a reason or example. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'food ads', 'visual ads', 'product demos') and one supporting detail connected with a linking word.

例: I prefer visual ads for food and new gadgets because attractive photos and short demos help me decide whether I want to try them, for example, a short video showing how a kitchen gadget works.

× I often see advertisement when I use my phone in my spare time, especially on social media platforms such as Instagram, Snapchat or YouTube.

✓ I often see advertisements when I use my phone in my spare time, especially on social media platforms such as Instagram, Snapchat, or YouTube.

The noun 'advertisement' should be plural ('advertisements') because the sentence refers to repeated or multiple instances in general. Use the plural with 'often' and plural countable nouns. Also add a comma before 'or' in a list for clarity.

× I often see advertising is related to foods and drinks.

✓ I often see advertisements related to food and drinks.

The original mixes structures: 'see advertising is related' is ungrammatical. Use 'see' with the plural noun 'advertisements' and a past participle/adjective phrase 'related to'. Also 'food' is usually uncountable; use singular 'food' rather than 'foods'. (Grammar problem type matched: 10: Verb in the present participle form — the error involves incorrect verb/adjective form and noun number; corrected using appropriate adjective phrase.)

× When I was a child, definitely advertisement dent made an impression on me because when I was saw a new product on my mobile phone, I at that time I decided in my mind to borrowed it.

✓ When I was a child, certain advertisements definitely made an impression on me because when I saw a new product on my mobile phone, I decided in my mind to buy it.

Multiple errors: 'advertisement' should be plural ('advertisements') or use 'an advertisement'. 'dent' is incorrect and likely a typo; removed. 'was saw' is wrong; use simple past 'saw'. 'to borrowed' is wrong: after 'to' use base form 'borrow' or better 'buy' depending on intended meaning; I used 'buy it' which fits context. Also adjust word order and remove redundant phrases like 'at that time'. (Grammar problem type matched: 1: Singular and plural issue and 5: Past tense issue; primary correction listed under singular/plural.)

× According to my opinion, a lot of advertisement on trains or other transport is very, uh, beneficial for businessmen if they want to promote and explore anything like new product in front of people, uh, it's the right way.

✓ In my opinion, a lot of advertisements on trains and other transport are very beneficial for businesses if they want to promote new products to people; it's an effective way.

Use 'In my opinion' rather than 'According to my opinion'. 'Advertisement' should be plural ('advertisements'). Use 'on trains and other transport' (and prefer 'transport' plural/uncountable) and match verb number: 'a lot of advertisements ... are'. 'Businessmen' can be generalized to 'businesses' or 'companies'. 'Explore anything like new product in front of people' is unclear; changed to 'promote new products to people'. (Grammar problem type matched: 11: Incorrect use of prepositions and 1: Singular and plural issue.)

× And I have seen a lot of advertisement in new.

✓ And I have seen a lot of advertisements recently.

Use plural 'advertisements' with 'a lot of'. 'in new' is incorrect; use 'recently' or 'in the news' depending on meaning. 'Recently' fits the intended sense of 'lately'.

× I did not like advertisement because, uh, they were a waste of time and interrupt my favorite television show.

✓ I did not like advertisements because they were a waste of time and interrupted my favorite television shows.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements'. The first clause is past tense ('did not like'), so follow with past tense 'interrupted' rather than present 'interrupt'. 'Favorite television show' can be pluralized to 'television shows' since interruptions happen across shows; keep singular if referring to one specific show. Also remove filler 'uh'. (Grammar problem type matched: 6: Present tense issue and 5: Past tense issue; primary is tense consistency.)

× Uh, when that happened, I usually skip them.

✓ When that happened, I usually skipped them.

Sentence mixes past context ('when that happened') with present habitual 'usually skip'. To keep tense consistent, use past habitual 'usually skipped'. Alternatively, if describing a general habit, change the first clause to present: 'When that happens, I usually skip them.' (Grammar problem type matched: 10: Verb in the present participle form — tense/verb form inconsistency.)

× Well, there are many different kinds of advertising I like, such as food, pictures or, uh, new products.

✓ Well, there are many different kinds of advertising that I like, such as ads for food, pictures, and new products.

Missing relative pronoun 'that' improves readability: 'kinds of advertising that I like'. Clarify 'food' as 'ads for food'. Use commas correctly in a list and remove filler 'uh'. (Grammar problem type matched: 26: Sentence structure errors.)