Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答有主题句并给出了原因，但存在语法和表达重复问题，句子不够连贯，且部分词语使用不准确。建议：1) 注意简洁表达，避免重复（例如不要连续说“the music and the and the cartoons character”）。2) 用连接词改善连贯性（e.g. “because”, “so”, “for example”）。3) 修正语法错误并丰富词汇，如用“animated characters”代替“cartoons character”。4) 将回答控制在3-4句内，第一句直接回答问题，后面补充具体细节和感受。

例: A cookie advertisement impressed me when I was a child. I remember it because it featured energetic, upbeat music and cute animated characters. For example, the characters danced around the cookie, which made the ad very memorable and fun to watch.

提案: 回答内容意思能被理解，但存在严重语法错误、词汇错误和重复，逻辑不够清晰。建议：1) 使用正确时态和短语（例如“I have seen”或“I saw”而不是“I have ever seen”；“travel abroad”而不是“went to abroad”）。2) 修正名词复数及冠词（“every seat has its own TV”）。3) 去掉不必要重复，使用连接词使句子流畅（e.g. “Because… I could…”）。4) 提供更直接的总体评价（如“yes, I often see ads on transport”）然后举例说明。

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on transport. For example, on my flight last weekend every seat had its own TV and the screens showed ads for coffee and duty-free shops. Because each passenger had a screen, I could easily focus on those short commercials.

提案: 回答表达了观点和理由，但语法混乱，词汇使用不准确且有冗余。建议：1) 直接回答并列出2-3具体理由，注意主谓一致（“what functions it has”）。2) 用更合适的词汇（例如“informative”, “emotional”, “visually appealing”），避免无意义的词如“flea flats”。3) 用连接词组织句子并控制句子数以保持简洁。

例: Yes, I like advertisements because they inform me about new products and their features. Also, some ads are very creative or emotional, which makes them enjoyable to watch. For example, a clever short commercial helped me choose a gift for my friend.

提案: 回答明确且连贯性较好，但存在语法小错误和重复词汇，句子可更简洁自然。建议：1) 用正确的语法表达假设和结果（例如“if an advertisement has upbeat music, I will pay attention to it”）。2) 避免重复（“attractive or upbeats or energetic”可简化为“upbeat and energetic”）。3) 可补充一两句具体例子说明音乐如何影响购买意愿。

例: I prefer adverts with upbeat, catchy music because I love listening to music. If an ad has an energetic soundtrack, I'm more likely to notice it and remember the product, which increases the chance I might buy it. For example, a lively jingle once made me try a new coffee brand.

提案: 回答总体清晰但有词语搭配和语法问题，部分表达不自然（如“very very accustomed”）。建议：1) 使用自然搭配（例如“I'm used to seeing them”或“They're very relevant to me”）。2) 修正名词形式和词序（“cosmetics”, “English course ads”）。3) 增加一两句具体说明你如何看待这些广告（例如是否会点开或购买）。

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone, especially on Instagram and Facebook. They are usually about hairstyles, cosmetics, or English courses. Since these ads match my interests, I often notice them and sometimes click to learn more.

× Umm obviously a cookie advertisement was the most impressive advertisement I had seen when I was a child.

✓ Umm, obviously a cookie advertisement was the most impressive advertisement I had seen when I was a child.

原句中没有明显单复数错误；这里仅在标点上可加逗号以更自然。建议：口语中用逗号或短停顿分开语气词与主句。

× I had a very strong impression of it because the music and the and the cartoons character.

✓ I had a very strong impression of it because of the music and the cartoon characters.

原句结构混乱并且有重复“and the and the”。“cartoons character”应为复数名词短语“cartoon characters”，且需介词“because of”来说明原因。建议：去掉重复词，使用正确介词和名词单复数。

× Of these advertisements were very cute and attractive, the music was energetic and upbeat music, and the character was very cute.

✓ These advertisements were very cute and attractive; the music was energetic and upbeat, and the characters were very cute.

原句多余的介词“Of”不必要，且信息重复（两次说character cute）。把句子分成并列部分更清晰，同时将名词复数与动词一致（characters were）。建议：移除多余词，合并重复信息，保证主谓一致。

× I have ever seen the advertisements on an airplane because last weekend I went to abroad and every seats have their own TV and the TV would show some advertisements like about coffee or some tax free.

✓ I have seen advertisements on an airplane because last weekend I went abroad and every seat had its own TV, which showed advertisements about coffee or tax-free items.

“have ever seen”用法不当，应用现在完成或一般过去时；“went to abroad”错误，正确为“went abroad”；“every seats”主谓与数不一致，应为“every seat had”；“tax free”需名词搭配“tax-free items”。建议：注意时态、介词用法和单复数一致。

× Attacks and I was very impressive about it because it every single seats have their own TV and I could focus on the TV.

✓ I was very impressed by it because every single seat had its own TV and I could focus on the screen.

“Attacks”显然为错误词；“impressive”用错，描述人的感觉应用“impressed”；“it every single seats have”语序与单复数错误。建议：区分“impressive”(使人印象深刻的)与“impressed”(感到印象深刻的)，并确保主谓一致与正确语序。

× I think so because advertisements can help me to know different kind of products and what functions does it has and the some different items I could buy as a gift for my friends or families.

✓ I think so because advertisements can help me know different kinds of products and what functions they have, and suggest different items I could buy as gifts for my friends or family.

“to know”不必要可简化为“help me know”；“different kind”应为复数“different kinds”；“what functions does it has”语序及动词形式错误，正确为“what functions they have”；“the some different items”多余冠词。建议：注意名词复数、从句语序和代词指代一致，避免多余词。

× They have the very drama videos or the very beautiful flea flats, so I will see.

✓ They have very dramatic videos or very beautiful visuals, so I'll watch them.

“drama videos”形容词用错，应为“dramatic”；“flea flats”不合适，应该是“visuals”或“visual effects”；“so I will see”用词生硬，改为“so I'll watch them”。建议：选择合适形容词，使用缩写或自然口语表达。

× I feel that an advertisement with beautiful music would be very attractive for me.

✓ I feel that an advertisement with beautiful music would be very attractive to me.

固定搭配为“attractive to someone”，原句用“for me”不太地道。建议：学习常用搭配短语。

× I really love listening to music, so if the advertisements with very attractive or upbeats or energetic music, I will probably pay my own attention on it and try.

✓ I really love listening to music, so if advertisements have very attractive, upbeat, or energetic music, I will probably pay attention to them and try to understand the product.

原句缺少谓语“have”；“upbeats”名词化错误，应为形容词“upbeat”；“pay my own attention on it”表达不自然，正确为“pay attention to them”；末尾不完整，应补充目的。建议：注意主谓完整、形容词形式以及固定搭配（pay attention to）。

× So I would think the music is very important.

✓ So I would say the music is very important.

“think”虽不完全错误，但在表达意见时更常用“say”或“believe”。此处为风格建议非严格错误。建议：根据语境选择更自然动词。

× When I use social media like Instagram or Facebook, I always see some advertisements.

✓ When I use social media like Instagram or Facebook, I always see advertisements.

句子可接受；去掉“some”会更自然。无重大时态错误。建议：简洁表达。

× Sometimes it's about the hairstyle and sometimes it's about cosmetic and sometimes I can of course the English courses advertisements.

✓ Sometimes they're about hairstyles, sometimes about cosmetics, and sometimes, of course, about English course advertisements.

名词单复数错误（hairstyle→hairstyles；cosmetic→cosmetics）；“I can of course the English courses advertisements”无谓语且语序错，应为“about English course advertisements”。建议：注意名词单复数及完整句子结构。

× I feel that they are very very accustomed because that's all the items or service I would mind to buy.

✓ I feel that they are very familiar to me because they're all items or services I might consider buying.

“accustomed”用法错误，应为“familiar”；“that's all the items or service I would mind to buy”语法与用词不当，改为“items or services I might consider buying”。建议：掌握常见形容词搭配和情态动词用法以表达可能性。