Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and correct basic grammar (use past tense and articles). Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes. One advertisement that impressed me as a child promoted an MP3 player that taught English. I remember its catchy Chinese slogan clearly, and the commercial showed children happily learning pronunciation, which made the product memorable.

提案: Start with a direct answer, then give specific examples and use linking words. Improve grammar (remove filler words, use plural/singular correctly) and finish your sentence clearly.

例: Yes, I see many advertisements on public transport. For example, Chinese railways often display posters for alcohol brands, and buses carry large slogan-based ads, so advertisements are very visible while travelling.

提案: Give a clear, single opinion first (like or dislike), then explain with two concise reasons using linking words. Avoid hesitation and unclear words (e.g. 'loan'). Correct grammar and reduce repetitions.

例: I don't like most advertisements because they often interrupt my thoughts and are too noisy. However, I do appreciate subtle ads that are informative and not intrusive.

提案: Answer directly, then describe specific features you like with clear linking words. Fix contradictions (e.g. 'not very nice' vs liking) and use precise vocabulary (short film, humorous story, clear message).

例: I prefer Thai-style advertisements because they usually tell a short, humorous story. As a result, they are entertaining and the product message is easy to understand.

提案: Give a direct answer, then provide clear reasons and correct grammar (use 'Windows 10' and plural/singular agreement). Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition.

例: No, I don't see many ads on my devices. My phone is an Apple device and my computer runs Windows 10, so I use ad-blockers and system settings that keep the interface clean.

× And there was a MP3 player that can teach children how to speak English.

✓ And there was an MP3 player that could teach children how to speak English.

Article before a consonant sound should be 'an' not 'a' before 'MP3'. Also tense/modal consistency: 'was' (past) suits 'could' rather than present 'can' because the student refers to childhood; use past ability 'could'. Suggestion: use 'an' before acronyms starting with vowel sound and match past context with 'could'.

× And there is a very impressive slogan which is in Chinese we say.

✓ And there was a very impressive slogan in Chinese that we used to say.

Pronoun and clause structure are awkward. 'Which is in Chinese we say' is ungrammatical; better to use 'that we used to say' to indicate habitual past action. Also align tense with past 'was'. Suggestion: reorder clause: 'a slogan in Chinese that we used to say.'

× Yes, there, there is a lot of advertisement on the Chinese railway.

✓ Yes, there is a lot of advertising on the Chinese railway.

'There is' is acceptable but 'a lot of advertisement' should be 'a lot of advertising' (uncountable) or 'a lot of advertisements' (countable). Keep singular 'there is' for uncountable. Suggestion: use 'advertising' or plural 'advertisements'.

× You can always say see some Chinese alcohol advertisement and there's always some advertisement slogan on the bus.

✓ You can always see some Chinese alcohol advertisements and there are always some advertisement slogans on the bus.

Pronoun/verb agreement: 'see' not 'say', and countable nouns need plural form 'advertisements' and 'slogans'; use 'there are' for plural. Suggestion: use plural nouns with appropriate verb forms and correct verb 'see'.

× So you can always see them very.

✓ So you can always see them clearly.

'Very' is not appropriate here; adverb 'clearly' suits 'see'. Also sentence incomplete in meaning. Suggestion: replace 'very' with an adverb that modifies 'see'.

× Well, in my opinion, I'm, I'm not, I'm not like I don't like the advertisements because I it's kind of a loan.

✓ Well, in my opinion, I don't like advertisements because they're kind of annoying.

Multiple pronoun errors and wrong word 'loan' instead of 'annoying'. Remove redundant 'I'm', use 'I don't like advertisements' and plural/contracted 'they're' for 'advertisements'. Suggestion: simplify sentence and choose correct adjective 'annoying'.

× It disturb my mind when I especially when I'm thinking about something, they're usually very loud and noise.

✓ They disturb my mind, especially when I'm thinking about something; they're usually very loud and noisy.

Pronoun 'It' should be 'They' referring to advertisements; verb agreement 'disturb' needs 'disturb' with plural subject 'they' (they disturb). 'Noise' should be adjective 'noisy'. Sentence structure improved with comma and semicolon. Suggestion: ensure pronoun refers clearly and use correct adjective form 'noisy'.

× I think I, I prefer some.

✓ I think I prefer none.

Original 'prefer some' is incomplete and unclear. Context indicates dislike, so 'prefer none' conveys meaning. Suggestion: state preference clearly; use 'none' or 'not to have them'.

× I like the Thai Thailand style advertisement because Thailand ones are always made by a small story, which is often very humorous and it's not very nice and you can tell what they say and what they want sell.

✓ I like Thai advertisements because the ones from Thailand are usually short stories that are often very humorous and clear about what they mean and what they want to sell.

Awkward adjective use: 'Thai Thailand style' redundant; 'made by a small story' should be 'are short stories'; 'not very nice' contradicts intended praise so changed to 'clear'. Also 'want sell' missing 'to'. Suggestion: remove redundancy, use 'short stories', use 'what they want to sell'.

× No, not at all. My phone is an is an Apple, so the system is quite clear and there's not many advertisement I can see on it as well as my personal computer.

✓ No, not at all. My phone is an Apple, so the system is quite clear and there aren't many advertisements I can see on it or on my personal computer.

Remove duplicate 'is an'. Use 'an Apple' is okay but brand usually 'an iPhone' or 'an Apple phone'; keep 'there aren't' for plural 'advertisements'. 'As well as' awkward—use 'or on'. Suggestion: use plural 'advertisements' and correct negative 'there aren't'.

× I I use the system of the window 10s. It's very clear out of the advertisement and I really like it.

✓ I use the Windows 10 operating system. It's very clear of advertisements and I really like it.

Product name and form: 'window 10s' should be 'Windows 10'. 'Clear out of the advertisement' ungrammatical; 'clear of advertisements' indicates absence of ads. Suggestion: use correct product name 'Windows 10' and phrase 'clear of advertisements'.