Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は理解できるが、文法ミスと冗長表現があり、情報が少ないです。まず、文を自然にするために時制と語順を直し、重複表現（"very was very"）を取り除いてください。また、なぜ印象に残ったのか具体的な理由（映像、音楽、キャラクターなど）を一つか二つ付け加えると、内容が豊かになります。回答は最大5文以内にまとめ、接続詞（because、so）を使って論理的につなげてください。

例: I remember a TV commercial for a Japanese train when I was a child. It impressed me because it showed a dramatic nighttime cityscape with beautiful music. The visuals and soundtrack made the train look exciting and reliable, so I still recall it clearly.

提案: 意味は伝わるが語彙の選択と文法に問題があります（"trade"→"trains"、"watch out of commercial"など）。具体例を加えて理由を明確にしてください。例えば、満員電車の中で目につく広告の場所や時間帯、広告の種類を述べると良いです。接続語（because、so、for example）で論理を明確にしてください。

例: Yes, I see a lot of advertising on trains. Because many commuters use trains during rush hour, companies put posters and video ads inside carriages to reach them. For example, I often notice mobile phone and beverage ads near the doors.

提案: 答えは理由を述べているが、文法と語順が不自然です（"major in commercial and marketing"→"majored in marketing"など）。また繰り返しが多く、具体的な興味（どの部分のマーケティングが好きか：コピー、デザイン、戦略など）を一つ挙げると説得力が増します。接続表現で文をつなぎ、文を簡潔にしてください。

例: Yes, I do. I majored in marketing at university, so I'm particularly interested in advertising strategies and how campaigns influence customer behavior. I enjoy watching ads to study their visuals and messaging techniques.

提案: 答えは主旨を伝えているが、文法ミスと冗長表現があります（"a one of the famous car industry"等）。具体性を高めるために、どの要素が好きか（映像の質、ストーリー、技術の紹介など）を示してください。また比較や例を一つ入れるとより良いです。

例: I prefer car advertisements. Japanese car ads often highlight advanced technology and sleek design with high-quality cinematography, which I find impressive. For example, a recent commercial showed the car driving through varied landscapes to emphasize its performance.

提案: 意味は伝わるが表現が不自然で冗長です（"smartphone and cell phone"は重複、"member of subscribe"は不正確）。ストリーミングや無料サービスで広告を見る状況を明確に説明し、頻度や広告の種類を一文で述べてください。接続語を使って理由と結果を整理しましょう。

例: Yes, I often see ads on my phone. I use free streaming services to watch videos and animations, so I have to watch short ads before the content starts. Because of that, I encounter several ads every day.

× When I was a child, I remember the TV commercial of Japan train.

✓ When I was a child, I remember the TV commercial for a Japanese train.

The phrase 'of Japan train' is incorrect word order and word choice for describing the advertisement's subject. Use 'for' to indicate what the commercial is advertising and 'a Japanese train' as the correct adjective-noun order. Also 'Japanese' is the adjective form. Try: 'the TV commercial for a Japanese train.' Suggestion: Place adjectives before nouns and use appropriate prepositions like 'for' when referring to the target of an advertisement.

× This train commercial is a very was very impressive to me.

✓ This train commercial was very impressive to me.

The sentence contains duplicate and conflicting verb forms ('is a very was very'). Remove the extra words and use a single past tense verb 'was' because the speaker refers to a childhood memory. Also 'impressive' is an adjective describing 'commercial.' Suggestion: Keep one verb and match tense to the time reference (past for childhood memories).

× So I remember now.

✓ So I still remember it now.

The original is grammatically short and ambiguous. Adding 'still' clarifies that the memory has continued until the present, and 'it' refers back to the commercial. Maintain present reference with 'remember' since the speaker says they recall it now. Suggestion: Include a clear subject or object reference and an adverb like 'still' when indicating continuity.

× Yes, especially Japanese trade, we usually watch out of commercial in the trade because out of business person uses the train in Japan during rush hour.

✓ Yes, especially on Japanese trains; we usually see commercials on the trains because many business people use them during rush hour.

Multiple preposition errors: 'trade' should be 'trains'; 'watch out of commercial in the trade' is incorrect. Use 'on' for 'on trains' and 'see commercials on the trains.' 'Business person' should be plural 'business people.' Also punctuation into two clauses clarifies meaning. Suggestion: Use 'on' with transport (on trains, on buses), use plural nouns for groups, and simplify clause structure.

× Yes, I do because I was major in commercial and marketing in college.

✓ Yes, I do because I majored in commerce and marketing in college.

The original mixes present 'I do' with incorrect past participle form 'was major.' Use the simple past 'I majored' to describe past study. Also 'commercial' is incorrect as a field; use 'commerce' or 'commercial studies.' Suggestion: Use 'majored in' plus the subject; ensure the field name is correct.

× So now I'm interested in commercial and how to promote our other company product to customer.

✓ So now I'm interested in advertising and how to promote our company's products to customers.

Use 'advertising' instead of 'commercial' for the general field. 'Our other company product' has wrong order and number; use 'our company's products' and 'customers' plural. Use 'to customers' as the correct prepositional phrase. Suggestion: Use possessive ('company's') and plural nouns when speaking generally.

× So it is fun time for me to watch your commercial.

✓ So it's fun for me to watch commercials.

'Fun time' is unnatural here; say 'it's fun for me.' 'Your commercial' is odd in this context; use the plural 'commercials' or 'advertisements' when speaking generally. Suggestion: Use natural collocations like 'it's fun to watch' and pluralize general nouns.

× My favorite advertisement is a car because Japan is a one of the famous car industry so we usually watching TV or commercial about their product over car.

✓ My favorite advertisements are about cars because Japan has one of the most famous automobile industries, so we often watch TV commercials about their cars.

Multiple adjective and word-choice errors: 'is a car' should be 'are about cars' since advertisements are about car models. 'Japan is a one of the famous car industry' is ungrammatical; use 'Japan has one of the most famous automobile industries.' 'We usually watching' needs correct verb form 'we often watch.' 'Their product over car' is unclear; use 'their cars.' Suggestion: Use plural nouns for general statements, correct verb forms, and standard collocations like 'automobile industry' and 'watch commercials about cars.'

× It is very fantastic and amazing.

✓ They are very impressive and exciting.

'It is' doesn't agree with plural 'advertisements' mentioned earlier; use 'They are.' Also 'fantastic and amazing' are informal and repetitive; 'impressive and exciting' is more natural. Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb agreement and choose appropriate adjectives that avoid redundancy.

× I usually watch a commercial and advertisement on a smartphone and cell phone because I am a member of subscribe the video and animation.

✓ I usually watch commercials and advertisements on my smartphone because I subscribe to video and animation services.

Use plural 'commercials and advertisements' for generality. 'On a smartphone and cell phone' is redundant; use 'my smartphone.' 'I am a member of subscribe the video and animation' is ungrammatical; use 'I subscribe to video and animation services.' Suggestion: Use correct verb 'subscribe to' and simplify device references.

× But I need to see some other advertisement in order to watch the movie and animation.

✓ But I need to watch some advertisements in order to watch a movie or animation.

Use 'watch advertisements' not 'see some other advertisement.' Also 'the movie and animation' is too specific; use 'a movie or animation' for general statements. 'In order to' is acceptable but can be simplified. Suggestion: Use articles correctly ('a movie') and parallel structure 'movie or animation' when offering alternatives.