Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly state the memorable ad first, then give clear supporting details. Remove fillers (uh, like) and correct grammar (e.g., "which used to give away free tarot cards", "I was a keen fan"). Use one or two linking words to connect ideas (for example, "because" or "and").

例: A memorable ad from my childhood was one that used to give away free tarot cards. I liked it because I was a big Cartoon Network fan, and the ad’s jungle scenes were especially eye-catching and imaginative.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then give specific examples using linking words (e.g., "for example", "also"). Improve word choice and grammar ("an ad about a course", "I was trying to enroll in a college"). Keep to 2–4 sentences and avoid repetition like "really" twice.

例: Yes, I see many ads on public transport. For example, on a recent trip to Melbourne I noticed an advertisement for a college course I’m interested in, which was informative and helpful. I also often notice fashion and lifestyle adverts on trains.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence explaining your attitude, then support with a concrete reason and an example. Correct grammar ("what they have to offer", "I bought a phone after seeing an ad"). Avoid awkward phrasing and repetition. Use one linking phrase (e.g., "for instance" or "because").

例: Yes, I like advertisements because they inform me about useful products and deals. For instance, I bought a phone after seeing an ad that explained its features and price, which helped me decide quickly.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence naming the type you prefer, then explain why with specific reasons and examples. Fix grammar and phrasing ("I like a variety of advertisements, but I prefer informative ads about new technologies"). Avoid contradictions and streamline: choose either audio or visual preference and justify it with a brief reason.

例: I prefer informative advertisements, especially those about new technologies, because they explain features and benefits clearly. For example, I enjoy audio ads on Spotify that highlight a product’s key advantages while I’m listening to music.

提案: Answer directly, then give a specific example with improved grammar and fewer fillers. Use linking words to show consequence (e.g., "for example", "so"). Replace informal fillers ("uh", "like") and use correct expressions ("it can be a bit of a pain"). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I see ads all the time on my phone and computer, and they can be annoying. For example, an ad interrupted my IELTS listening practice recently, so I had to keep skipping it, which disrupted my concentration.

× If I had to say about a particular one, I would definitely say about an ad.

✓ If I had to choose a particular one, I would definitely pick an advertisement.

The original sentence uses awkward prepositions and verbs ('say about') causing a sentence structure error. 'Choose' and 'pick' are appropriate verbs when selecting one item. Replace 'say about an ad' with 'pick an advertisement' to make the sentence natural and grammatically correct.

× Uh, which user give away free tarot cards?

✓ Uh, which used to give away free tarot cards?

The sentence intended to reference a past habit but uses incorrect pronouns and verb forms. Use 'used to' to indicate a past recurring action. The original 'user' is wrong; it should be 'used to' (two words) not 'user'.

× As someone who uses be a keen fan of Cartoon Network, that advertisement caught my attention.

✓ As someone who used to be a keen fan of Cartoon Network, that advertisement caught my attention.

The phrase 'uses be' is ungrammatical. The intended meaning is past affiliation, so 'used to be' (verb phrase) is correct. This fixes the adjective/adverb misuse by providing the correct verb form.

× Not just because of the cards, because of the jungle in between it.

✓ Not just because of the cards, but because of the jungle in the background.

The original clause is a fragment and the prepositional phrase 'in between it' is incorrect. Use a coordinating conjunction 'but' to connect reasons and 'in the background' or 'in it' to describe where the jungle appears.

× Very much so.

✓ Yes, very much so.

Short answer without a subject sounds abrupt in spoken transcript; adding 'Yes' clarifies affirmation. This aligns with present-tense response style.

× Recently while I was travelling to Melbourne I did see an ad about a coast as I am trying to enroll into a college.

✓ Recently, while I was traveling to Melbourne, I saw an ad about a course because I was trying to enroll in a college.

Several errors: 'did see' is unnecessary past-emphasis; simple past 'saw' is appropriate. 'Coast' is a spelling error for 'course'. 'Enroll into' should be 'enroll in'. Tense consistency: 'was trying' matches the past time frame.

× That had really caught my attention and it was really informative and useful at the same time.

✓ That really caught my attention; it was informative and useful at the same time.

Past perfect 'had really caught' is unnecessary; simple past 'caught' fits. Remove redundant 'really' or keep one. Rephrase for smoothness and correct simple past usage.

× Other than that, I have seen quite a few ads about fashion and other things like that.

✓ Other than that, I have seen quite a few ads about fashion and similar topics.

Original is acceptable but 'other things like that' is vague; replace with 'similar topics' to be more concise. No major grammatical error; adjusted for clarity.

× I really enjoy them, not because of how good they are made these days, but because what they has to they have to offer me.

✓ I really enjoy them, not because of how well they are made these days, but because of what they have to offer me.

Several errors: use adverb 'well' with 'made'. 'What they has to' is incorrect subject-verb agreement and word order; correct is 'what they have to offer me.' Remove duplicate words.

× For instance, recently I was able to buy a phone by watching an ad, so it is really quite informative.

✓ For instance, recently I was able to buy a phone after watching an ad, so advertisements can be quite informative.

Use 'after watching' to show sequence; 'it' is vague—replace with 'advertisements' for clarity. Adjust tense/modal to general statement: 'can be' rather than 'is'.

× I like a variety of advertisement, however my favorite ones are informative ones or the OR or the sort that gives more information about newer technologies.

✓ I like a variety of advertisements; however, my favorites are informative ones or the sort that gives information about new technologies.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements'. Remove duplicated words 'or the OR or the'. 'Newer technologies' is acceptable but 'new technologies' is more natural. 'Favorites' matches plural.

× Even Spotify, they provide great advertisement these days.

✓ Even Spotify provides great advertisements these days.

Use singular verb 'provides' to agree with singular company 'Spotify' (or use 'they' but then pluralize context). 'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' for general statements.

× Although they are not something that I could see but more of an audio one.

✓ Although they are not something I can see; they are more audio-based.

Mixed tense and awkward phrasing. Use present 'can' for general truth. Avoid 'but more of an audio one'; use 'they are more audio-based' for clarity.

× But I prefer audio which will advertisement more than anything.

✓ But I prefer audio advertisements more than anything.

Original word order is incorrect and contains extra words. 'Audio advertisements' is the correct noun phrase; 'prefer ... more than anything' is idiomatic.

× All the time.

✓ All the time, yes.

Add 'yes' for a fuller affirmative response in present tense conversational style.

× Sometimes it can be annoying especially when you are in the middle of a task.

✓ Sometimes it can be annoying, especially when you are in the middle of a task.

Add comma for clarity; sentence is otherwise correct. This addresses punctuation improving readability rather than grammar.

× Recently while I was doing my uh, IELTS listening session, that's when an ad popped in between and I was really annoyed and I had to like keep on skipping it but it keeps on happening so it can be a little pain.

✓ Recently, while I was doing my IELTS listening practice, an ad popped up and I was really annoyed; I kept skipping it, but it kept happening, so it was a bit of a pain.

Multiple tense and phrasing issues: 'popped in between' -> 'popped up'; avoid filler 'uh'. Maintain past tense consistently: 'kept skipping', 'kept happening', 'was a bit of a pain'. Remove colloquial 'I had to like' for clarity.