Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 在回答中要更自然、简洁并注意时态和语法。先用一句主题句直接回答（现在/过去的梦想），然后用一到两句具体原因或细节支持，使用连接词使句子连贯，避免重复和语法错误。例如注意单复数、时态一致和正确的表达方式（people in pain, I liked → people in pain confused）。

例: I remember a big childhood dream: I wanted to become a doctor to help people in pain. Growing up surrounded by relatives with illnesses made me determined, and I still admire the medical profession for its ability to save lives.

提案: 回答需更自然和流畅，使用正确时态和词汇，避免多余词（and so on, especially）。先直接回答是否分享，然后给出具体例子或原因并用连接词，使表达连贯。

例: Yes, I often share my dreams with friends and family because I value their feedback. For example, my friends have recommended books and volunteer opportunities that helped me prepare for a medical career.

提案: 答案要更准确、自然，避免重复表达（dream/goal repeated）并修正语法错误（We If）。先给一个观点句，再用1–2句具体解释并用连接词如 'because' 或 'so'。可以给具体例子说明梦想如何带来动力或技能提升。

例: Yes, I believe dreams are important because they give us direction and motivation. For example, having a clear career goal pushed me to study harder and develop practical skills like time management and empathy.

提案: 回答要更清晰并修正语法和用词（people in pains → people in pain; hope more people in trouble → hope to help more people in trouble）。先直接回答愿望，再说明动机并可加入计划或步骤，使用连接词如 'because' 或 'so'。

例: Yes, I definitely want to make my dream come true because it will allow me to help people in pain. To achieve this, I plan to study medicine, volunteer at hospitals, and gain practical experience through internships.

× I have a big dream when I was young, I want to be a doctor and I want to save a lot of people.

✓ I had a big dream when I was young: I wanted to be a doctor and save a lot of people.

句子谈论的是过去发生的愿望或状态，应使用过去时。原句中混用了现在时（have / want）和过去时间状语（when I was young），造成时态不一致。建议将动词改为过去时，并把并列内容连接更自然，例如使用冒号或分号。

× Many people in pains I liked.

✓ I liked helping many people who were in pain.

原句词序混乱且代词/名词短语使用不当。“in pains”不是常用表达，应为“in pain”或“in pains”需修饰人；句子主语和动词位置错误。改为“I liked helping many people who were in pain”更符合英语习惯。

× I think they are very painful and people around me, they often have some illness.

✓ I think they were often in a lot of pain, and people around me often had some illnesses.

“painful”用来描述令人感到痛苦的事物，而不是指人自身的痛感；描述人感到疼痛应使用“in pain”。此外时态应与陈述过去经历一致。句子也包含重复代词“people around me, they”，应删去冗余。

× Especially I shared my dreams with others.

✓ I especially shared my dreams with others.

副词位置不当。虽然原句使用过去时“shared”正确，但“Especially”通常放在主语之后或句首并加逗号，根据说话习惯“I especially shared…”更自然。此项归为副词/时态位置问题，调整副词位置使语序正确。

× I share my dreams and want my friends to give me suggestions and so on.

✓ I shared my dreams and asked my friends to give me suggestions.

根据上下文为过去叙述，应使用过去时“shared”并用“asked”代替现在式“want ... to give”。原句“and so on”口语化且模糊，改为更明确的表达。

× They pro provide me a lot of useful suggestions.

✓ They provided me with a lot of useful suggestions.

原句有拼写错误“pro provide”且搭配不当。英语中“provide someone with something”或“provide something to someone”。同时时态应为过去式“provided”。

× I think dreams are very important in our daily lives.

✓ I think dreams are very important in our lives.

原句虽然语法可理解，但“in our daily lives”重复赘余。为简洁可改为“in our lives”。此处属句子结构与习惯用法调整。

× Dream is a goal and we want to achieve the goal.

✓ A dream is a goal that we want to achieve.

缺少冠词“A dream”，且重复使用“the goal”显得冗余。把句子合并为定语从句更流畅。属于“there be”类目中冠词/存在表达问题与句型调整。

× We If we achieve the goal, we will have a sense of achievement and we can improve our independence and abilities.

✓ If we achieve our goals, we will have a sense of achievement and can improve our independence and abilities.

原句有打字错误“We If”，并且主从句时态一致性需保持。将“the goal”改为复数“our goals”更自然，去掉重复的主语“we”。

× For me, I think my dream can help a lot of people in pains, so I like to achieve my dream and hope more people in trouble.

✓ For me, I thought my dream could help a lot of people in pain, so I wanted to achieve my dream and help more people in trouble.

句子混用时态并有词汇搭配错误。“in pains”应为“in pain”；句意为过去的愿望应用过去时“thought / could / wanted”。最后“hope more people in trouble”缺少谓语，应改为“help more people in trouble”表示帮助处于困境的人。