Dreams— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap kısa, doğal ve anlaşılır ancak daha sistematik bir yapı kullanılarak geliştirilebilir. Bir konu cümlesi ile başlayıp kısa bir neden veya sıklık ifadesi ekleyin. Bağlaçlar kullanarak mantıklı bağlantı kurun ve gereksiz tekrarları çıkarın. Ayrıca tek cümleli yanıtı 2–3 cümleye genişleterek örnek verin veya sıklığı belirtin.

例: Yes, I remember my dreams occasionally. For example, I recall vivid dreams once or twice a month, but most mornings I wake up without any memory of them.

提案: Cümle yapısı düzensiz ve tekrarlı ifadeler var ("I want to share" iki kez benzer anlamda kullanılmış). Dolaylı konuşma ve bağlantı sözcükleri (for example, because, so) kullanarak neden paylaştığınızı netleştirin. Gereksiz sesler (umm) ve cümle sonu kesintilerini kaldırın. Ayrıca bir kısa örnek vererek yanıtı zenginleştirin.

例: I do share my dreams sometimes, especially if they are frightening, because I feel better talking about them. For example, I once told my sister about a scary nightmare and she helped me understand why I felt anxious.

提案: İfade net ve görüş belli fakat bazı kelime seçimleri ("subconsciousness", "connected about") hatalı veya doğal olmayan kullanımlara sahip. Daha doğal ve akıcı bağlaçlarla destekleyin; spesifik örnekler veya kısa açıklama ekleyin. Cümleleri 2–3 daha kısa cümleye bölerek akıcılığı artırın.

例: Yes, I do. I believe that certain symbols or situations in dreams can reflect our subconscious thoughts. For instance, dreaming about falling might indicate anxiety, so I think dreams can reveal emotions we don't notice in daily life.

提案: Cevap şu an anlaşılması zor ve yanlış kelime kullanımı içeriyor ("Sound remains for it is"). Net ve doğrudan bir konu cümlesi kullanın, sonra kısa bir açıklama veya örnek verin. Basit, doğal ifadeler tercih edin ve gereksiz veya anlamsız kelime öbeklerinden kaçının.

例: Yes, I do want to make some of my dreams come true. For example, I hope to travel abroad one day, so I am saving money and learning English to achieve that goal.

× Sometimes, yeah, I remember my dreams, but most of the time I don't remember.

✓ Sometimes, yeah, I remember my dreams, but most of the time I don't.

The original sentence repeats 'remember' unnecessarily. Use of present simple is correct for habitual actions, but the repetition makes the sentence awkward. Remove the second 'remember' for concision: 'I don't.' Suggestion: keep present simple for habits and avoid redundant words.

× Sometimes I share my dreams, especially if they are about umm, scary things. I want to share and I just want to have good comments from my friends or my family and.

✓ Sometimes I share my dreams, especially if they are about scary things. I want to share them because I want to get positive comments from my friends or my family.

The original end 'and.' is a sentence fragment and the conjunction 'and' is used incorrectly, leaving the sentence incomplete. Also 'umm' is filler and should be removed in written form. Use 'because' to show purpose and include object 'them' for clarity. Maintain present simple for habitual action.

× Of course, I always believe in that because some symbols and some situations can give you a warning about your life and about your subconsciousness.

✓ Of course, I always believe that some symbols and situations can give you a warning about your life and your subconscious.

The phrase 'believe in that' is acceptable but 'believe that' is more natural here. 'About your subconsciousness' is incorrect: 'subconscious' (noun) or 'subconscious mind' is standard. Remove redundant 'some' before 'situations' and 'about' repeated. Use present simple for general beliefs.

× So it is really connected about my psychology and my emotions that I couldn't realize in my life.

✓ So it is really connected to my psychology and to emotions that I couldn't recognize in my life.

The structure 'connected about' is incorrect; use 'connected to'. 'Couldn't realize' is unnatural for 'couldn't recognize' or 'wasn't aware of'. Use past ability/modal nuance carefully: if meaning 'I didn't notice', say 'I couldn't recognize' or 'I wasn't aware of'. Maintain tense consistency and clearer verb choice.

× Sound remains for it is, yes.

✓ Yes, I want to make my dreams come true.

The original sentence 'Sound remains for it is, yes.' is ungrammatical and unclear. It does not answer the question. Replace with a clear, grammatically correct response in present simple aligned with the question: 'Yes, I want to make my dreams come true.' This corrects sentence structure and conveys intended meaning.