Mirrors— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (umm, uh), correct grammar (e.g., "I'm really into looking at myself"), and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "check my appearance" rather than "seize my beauty"). Limit to 2–3 sentences and add a linking phrase if you give times. For example, say when you do it and why briefly.

例: Yes, I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. I usually check my appearance in the morning and again before bed because it helps me make sure my hair and clothes look tidy.

提案: Answer directly and combine short details into a coherent answer. Remove hesitations and improve grammar (e.g., "I haven't bought one, but a friend gave me a small pink mirror for my birthday"). Use linking words to connect ideas and be specific about why you like it.

例: I haven't bought a mirror myself, but a friend gave me a small pink compact mirror for my birthday. I carry it with me because it's cute and handy for quick touch-ups.

提案: Be concise and correct grammar and word choice. Remove fillers and awkward phrases ("when I feel kind of love"). Use a clear reason and linking phrase (e.g., "especially when I have a meeting, so I can touch up my makeup and make sure I'm well dressed"). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I usually carry a compact mirror, especially when I have meetings. I use it to touch up my makeup and make sure I look neat and well dressed.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and specific details about the mirror and its effect. Remove filler words and correct grammar ("I have a large white mirror in my room"). Explain how it decorates—e.g., makes the room brighter or looks larger—and link reason and result briefly.

例: Yes, I already have a large white mirror in my room. It reflects light and makes the space feel brighter and more spacious, which is why I like it.

× Umm yes I really like and I really into to look at myself in the mirror because umm I can seize my beauty and I do this almost every time like umm evening before I go to the bed and when I wake up.

✓ Umm yes, I really like it and I'm really into looking at myself in the mirror because I can admire my beauty, and I do this almost every time, like in the evening before I go to bed and when I wake up.

Error: incorrect verb + -ing and verb forms and article usage. Reasons: 'really into' requires a gerund (looking), not 'to look'. 'Seize my beauty' is an incorrect verb choice; 'admire' is appropriate. 'the bed' should be 'bed' in this context. Suggestion: use 'into' + verb-ing, choose correct verbs ('admire'), and omit 'the' with 'go to bed'. Keep contractions and commas for natural speech.

× MMM no but my friend uh. On my birthdays I received a gift from my friend. Like a mini mirror. Umm this is so cute and so small. This colour is pink and I really like this and this is the thing I always bring myself.

✓ Mmm no, but my friend... On my birthday I received a gift from my friend, a mini mirror. It's so cute and so small. The color is pink and I really like it, and this is something I always carry with me.

Errors: tense and article issues and incorrect reflexive/pronoun use. Reasons: 'On my birthdays' should be 'On my birthday' for a single event; 'I received' is okay but combine sentences for clarity. 'This colour is pink' -> 'The color is pink'. 'Bring myself' is incorrect; use 'carry with me'. Suggestions: use singular 'birthday' for one occasion, use 'it' for mirror, and 'carry with me' instead of reflexive 'bring myself'.

× Yes, I always bring it by myself umm especially when I have a meeting.

✓ Yes, I always bring it myself, especially when I have a meeting.

Error: unnecessary 'by' and awkward reflexive phrasing. Reasons: 'bring it by myself' is nonstandard; correct is 'bring it myself'. Suggestion: drop 'by' and place 'myself' after the object for natural word order.

× Umm when I feel kind of love I will take it out of my bag and look at myself to look more prettier and look like well dressed.

✓ Umm when I feel kind of lovey, I take it out of my bag and look at myself to look prettier and appear well dressed.

Errors: incorrect adjective/adverb use and tense consistency and collocations. Reasons: 'feel kind of love' is unnatural; 'feel kind of lovey' or 'feel like I love my appearance' could work. 'will take' mixes future; present simple 'take' fits habitual action. 'more prettier' is wrong — 'prettier' is comparative already; 'more' is redundant. 'look like well dressed' is incorrect; use 'appear well dressed' or 'look well dressed'. Suggestion: use consistent tense for habitual actions, avoid double comparatives, and use correct verbs for 'appear'.

× MMM yes I do umm my room. I already have one in my room have a big uh mirror this white and uh I can see my phone buddy in there umm this look uh bright in my room and I really like it.

✓ Mmm yes, I do. In my room I already have a big white mirror, and I can see myself in it. It makes my room look bright, and I really like it.

Errors: sentence structure, pronoun and adjective order issues. Reasons: original is fragmented and has incorrect word order ('have one in my room have a big mirror'). 'this white' should be 'big white mirror' (adjective order). 'I can see my phone buddy' is unclear; likely 'I can see myself' or 'my phone reflection'. 'this look bright' should be 'it makes my room look bright'. Suggestions: combine fragments into clear sentences, use correct adjective order, and replace unclear phrases with standard expressions like 'I can see myself' and 'makes my room look bright'.

× Like a mini mirror. Umm this is so cute and so small.

✓ It was a mini mirror. Umm, it was so cute and so small.

Error: pronoun reference and sentence fragments. Reasons: 'Like a mini mirror' is a fragment; better to say 'It was a mini mirror.' Also maintain consistent tense when describing a past gift. Suggestion: use complete sentences and appropriate pronouns ('it') to refer to the mirror.