Relax— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer directly in the present perfect or past simple: say that you have found a new place recently. Use the natural expression “take my mind off my problems,” not “take my mom off my problems.” Avoid repeating similar ideas such as “a great park,” “a green area,” and “surrounded by tall trees”; combine them into a concise description. Use a linking word such as “because” to explain why the place helps you relax.

例: Recently, I’ve discovered a beautiful park near my house. I often go there to get some fresh air and take my mind off my problems. It is surrounded by tall trees, so it feels peaceful and helps me escape the hectic pace of daily life.

提案: State the main answer clearly and then contrast it with the occasional alternative. The phrase “daily liftings” is incorrect; use “daily lives,” “daily routines,” or “everyday problems.” Add a specific reason why spending time with your husband or friends is relaxing, and use a linking word such as “however” or “because.” Also say “the hectic pace of life” or simply “a busy lifestyle.”

例: I usually relax with my husband because we enjoy spending quiet time together at home. However, when I want a change of mood, I meet up with my friends. We talk about our daily lives and share our problems, which usually helps us feel better.

提案: Give a direct answer and support it with a clear example. Replace “one wide” with “unwind” and “strength mood” with “lift my mood” or “improve my mood.” Avoid repeating “it’s” and “way,” and use the natural phrase “the hectic pace of life.” Mention a type of music or a situation in which you listen to it to make your answer more specific.

例: Yes, definitely. Listening to calm music is one of the easiest ways for me to unwind after a busy day. For example, I often listen to soft music before going to bed because it clears my mind and lifts my mood.

提案: Use “meditation,” not “medication,” because medication refers to medicine. Say “I meditate alone” instead of “I prefer to do medication solely.” Organize the answer with a clear contrast: explain what you do when you want to be alone and what you do when you feel sociable. Use natural articles and prepositions, such as “go to a café or restaurant” and “meet at one another’s homes.”

例: When I want some time alone, I usually meditate for a few minutes. It helps me calm down and organize my thoughts. However, when I feel sociable, I meet my friends at a café or restaurant, where we talk about our challenges and enjoy each other’s company.

× Actually I find a new place which is a great park near my house.

✓ Actually, I found a new place, which is a great park near my house.

The question refers to a recent change, so the past tense found is more appropriate than the present tense find when describing the discovery of the place.

× Sometimes I go there to breathe fresh air and take my mom off my problems and run away from hectic pace of life.

✓ Sometimes, I go there to breathe fresh air, take my mom off my problems, and run away from the hectic pace of life.

The noun pace is followed by the identifying phrase of life, so it should be used with the definite article the: the hectic pace of life.

× I usually relax with my husband but sometimes I want to change my mood and just run away from hectic pace of life.

✓ I usually relax with my husband, but sometimes I want to change my mood and just run away from the hectic pace of life.

The phrase refers to a specific, familiar kind of pace, so the definite article the is required before hectic pace.

× Yeah, I think it is the easiest way to relax and especially listening to calm music, it's a great way to one wide and run away from hectic ways of life.

✓ Yeah, I think listening to calm music is one of the easiest ways to relax. It is a great way to unwind and escape from the hectic pace of life.

The original sentence combines an incomplete phrase with an independent clause and repeats the subject structure incorrectly. Use listening to calm music as the subject of the sentence, and use the infinitive unwind after way to.

× It is a great way to unwind and run away from hectic ways of life.

✓ It is a great way to unwind and escape from the hectic pace of life.

The expression is normally the hectic pace of life. The definite article the is needed because the phrase refers to a specific general condition of life.

× Sometimes I prefer to do medication, umm, solely.

✓ Sometimes, I prefer to do medication solely.

The adverb solely should be placed close to the word or phrase it modifies. Placing it after the main verb phrase makes the sentence easier to understand.

× We go to cafe, restaurant or sometimes our houses to talk about our challenges and relax.

✓ We go to a café, a restaurant, or sometimes our houses to talk about our challenges and relax.

Singular countable nouns such as café and restaurant require an article when used generally. The indefinite article a is needed before each noun.

× We go to a café, a restaurant or sometimes our houses to talk about our challenges and relax.

✓ We go to a café, a restaurant, or sometimes to our houses to talk about our challenges and relax.

The preposition to is needed before our houses because the verb go describes movement toward a place. Repeating the preposition improves grammatical parallelism in the list.