Relax— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答切题，并提供了地点、活动和原因，但语法和搭配问题较多。开头应直接说地点，例如“Recently, I usually go to a sports ground.”；“go to a sport ground or playing”结构不平行，应改为“go to a sports ground or take part in outdoor activities”；“release my stress”更自然的表达是“relieve my stress”，“while make me feel relaxed”应改为“which makes me feel relaxed”。建议控制在2—3句，并加入一个具体细节，使答案更自然有效。

例: Recently, I usually go to a sports ground near my home to relax. I often play football or basketball there because exercise helps me relieve stress and improve my mood. I also enjoy showing my skills and spending time outdoors.

提案: 回答内容丰富，也说明了朋友和共同爱好，但表达不够自然。“my friend called Floy”可以改为“my friend Floy”，“spend time on sports”应改为“play sports”，“even playing”应改为“or even play video games”。“strengthen the relationship and build bonds”意思重复，可以简化为“strengthen our friendship”。此外，避免连续使用两个“So”，可使用“Because”或“Besides”连接。

例: I usually relax with my friend Floy because we have similar hobbies. We often play sports, read, or even play video games together. This gives us a chance to strengthen our friendship while taking our minds off work and study.

提案: 观点明确，但存在明显的词汇和语法错误。“listening some”应改为“listening to”；“lights music”应为“light music”；“can lead to feel relaxed”应改为“can help me feel relaxed”；“listen some music”应为“listen to some music”。“while I’m facing my exam or heavy homework”不自然，可以说“when I’m studying for an exam or dealing with a lot of homework”。建议补充音乐如何帮助你放松的具体结果。

例: Yes, definitely. I find light music and soft melodies very relaxing, especially when I am studying for an exam or dealing with a lot of homework. Music helps me calm down and concentrate better.

提案: 回答给出了多个活动和原因，但句子过长，且存在较多不自然表达。“playing football on the grass beach”含义不清，可以改为“playing football on a grassy field”；“release my stressful and anxiety”应改为“relieve my stress and anxiety”；“refresh my body and mind”可以保留，但“reboot my mindsets”不自然，可改为“clear my mind”。建议使用清晰的连接词，并删除重复的“also”，将答案分成2—3句。

例: To relax, I usually go hiking, swimming, or play football on a grassy field. These activities help me relieve stress and anxiety, especially because I can spend time outdoors. After exercising, I feel refreshed and my mind feels much clearer.

× normally I would go to a sport ground or playing some outdoor activities like football or basketball because I think these types of activities can release my stress and I can showcase my skills while make me feel relaxed.

✓ I normally go to a sports ground or play outdoor sports like football or basketball because I think these activities can relieve my stress and I can showcase my skills while making me feel relaxed.

这里描述的是通常的放松习惯，应使用一般现在时。将“would go”改为“go”。注意句首要大写。

× normally I would go to a sport ground or playing some outdoor activities like football or basketball because I think these types of activities can release my stress and I can showcase my skills while make me feel relaxed.

✓ I normally go to a sports ground or play outdoor sports like football or basketball because I think these activities can relieve my stress and I can showcase my skills while making me feel relaxed.

“sports ground”是固定搭配，表示“运动场”。其中“sports”通常使用复数形式作定语。

× normally I would go to a sport ground or playing some outdoor activities like football or basketball because I think these types of activities can release my stress and I can showcase my skills while make me feel relaxed.

✓ I normally go to a sports ground or play outdoor sports like football or basketball because I think these activities can relieve my stress and I can showcase my skills while making me feel relaxed.

“go to ... or playing ...”结构不平行，应使用“go ... or play ...”。另外，“while”后面接现在分词时，应使用“making”，形成“while making me feel relaxed”。

× I usually relax with my friend called Floy because we both have the same hobbies, so I would ask him to spend time on sports or reading, even playing some video games. So we can strengthen the relationship and build bonds while I can relax.

✓ I usually relax with my friend Floy because we have the same hobbies, so I ask him to spend time playing sports, reading, or even playing video games. This way, we can strengthen our relationship and build bonds while relaxing.

表达“花时间做某事”时，通常使用“spend time doing something”，而不是“spend time on sports”。因此应改为“spend time playing sports”。

× I usually relax with my friend called Floy because we both have the same hobbies, so I would ask him to spend time on sports or reading, even playing some video games. So we can strengthen the relationship and build bonds while I can relax.

✓ I usually relax with my friend Floy because we have the same hobbies, so I ask him to spend time playing sports, reading, or even playing video games. This way, we can strengthen our relationship and build bonds while relaxing.

“usually”表示经常发生的习惯，后面的动词应使用一般现在时。“would ask”在这里应改为“ask”。

× Of course, listening some lights music or soft melodies can lead to feel relaxed and enjoyable. So normally I will listen some music while I'm facing my exam or heavy homework.

✓ Of course, listening to light music or soft melodies can make me feel relaxed and happy. I normally listen to music while preparing for an exam or doing homework.

“listen”后面必须接介词“to”，所以应说“listen to music”。同样，第一处“listening”后也应使用“to”。

× Of course, listening some lights music or soft melodies can lead to feel relaxed and enjoyable. So normally I will listen some music while I'm facing my exam or heavy homework.

✓ Of course, listening to light music or soft melodies can make me feel relaxed and happy. I normally listen to music while preparing for an exam or doing homework.

“lights music”中的“lights”形式错误，应为形容词“light”。此外，“music”可以是“enjoyable”，但人通常说“feel relaxed and happy”，而不是“feel relaxed and enjoyable”。

× Of course, listening some lights music or soft melodies can lead to feel relaxed and enjoyable. So normally I will listen some music while I'm facing my exam or heavy homework.

✓ Of course, listening to light music or soft melodies can make me feel relaxed and happy. I normally listen to music while preparing for an exam or doing homework.

“lead to”中的“to”是介词，后面应接名词或动名词，不能直接接动词原形“feel”。可以改用更自然的结构“make me feel relaxed”，或者说“lead to feeling relaxed”。

× Of course, listening some lights music or soft melodies can lead to feel relaxed and enjoyable. So normally I will listen some music while I'm facing my exam or heavy homework.

✓ Of course, listening to light music or soft melodies can make me feel relaxed and happy. I normally listen to music while preparing for an exam or doing homework.

这里描述的是平时的习惯，而不是将来某一次的行为，因此“will listen”应改为一般现在时“listen”。

× I would do some other activities like hiking, swimming, playing football on the grass beach, because playing under the sun can release my stressful and anxiety, also it can refresh my body and mind also can reboot my mindsets.

✓ I do other activities like hiking, swimming, or playing football on a grassy field or on the beach because playing under the sun can relieve my stress and anxiety. It can also refresh my body and mind and reboot my mindset.

问题是在描述通常的放松方式，所以应使用一般现在时，将“I would do”改为“I do”。

× I would do some other activities like hiking, swimming, playing football on the grass beach, because playing under the sun can release my stressful and anxiety, also it can refresh my body and mind also can reboot my mindsets.

✓ I do other activities like hiking, swimming, or playing football on a grassy field or on the beach because playing under the sun can relieve my stress and anxiety. It can also refresh my body and mind and reboot my mindset.

“stressful”是形容词，不能与名词“anxiety”并列作宾语。这里需要两个名词，因此应改为“stress and anxiety”。“grassy”是形容词，可以修饰“field”。

× I would do some other activities like hiking, swimming, playing football on the grass beach, because playing under the sun can release my stressful and anxiety, also it can refresh my body and mind also can reboot my mindsets.

✓ I do other activities like hiking, swimming, or playing football on a grassy field or on the beach because playing under the sun can relieve my stress and anxiety. It can also refresh my body and mind and reboot my mindset.

“mindset”在这里表示一个人的整体思维状态，通常使用单数形式“my mindset”，而不是“my mindsets”。

× I would do some other activities like hiking, swimming, playing football on the grass beach, because playing under the sun can release my stressful and anxiety, also it can refresh my body and mind also can reboot my mindsets.

✓ I do other activities like hiking, swimming, or playing football on a grassy field or on the beach because playing under the sun can relieve my stress and anxiety. It can also refresh my body and mind and reboot my mindset.

原句使用逗号连接多个完整分句，结构过长且不清晰。应拆分成两个句子，并使用“also”连接并列成分，使句子结构更清楚。