Relax— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence naming the place, use correct nouns, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds and repetition.

例: Recently I have been going to a nearby park with my family. The park has fresh air and lots of trees, so it feels peaceful. Because it is close to our home, we can visit often and enjoy the natural scenery.

提案: Answer directly with a clear subject (people you relax with), then add one specific reason or example using a linking word. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

例: I usually relax with my close friends. For example, we often meet at a café or park because talking together helps me unwind after a busy week.

提案: State your opinion clearly, give a concise reason and an example. Use linking words like 'because' and avoid hesitation and unclear fragments.

例: Yes, I think listening to music is relaxing because it calms my mind and reduces stress. For example, I listen to soft piano music when I study or before bed to help me feel calmer.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence about your usual relaxing activity, then add one or two specific details (where, how often, or why) using linking words. Remove hesitations and unclear pronouns.

例: To relax, I usually go for a walk in the local park. I enjoy sitting on a bench and breathing the fresh air, and I try to walk there at least three times a week because it helps me clear my mind.

× I recently go to the tarmac, uh, with my family and I relaxed in this, uh, in child work because child work was a more fresh air and, uh, more beautiful nature. And Taiwan is very, uh, good for.

✓ I recently go to the tarmac with my family and I relax in this child park because the air is fresher and the nature is more beautiful. Taiwan is very good for that.

Errors: inconsistent tense (mixing 'go' present with 'relaxed' past) and awkward nouns. Use present tense 'relax' to match 'recently' and keep consistency. Replace 'child work' with 'child park' (likely 'children's park' or 'park for children') and correct comparative phrases: 'more fresh air' -> 'the air is fresher'; 'more beautiful nature' -> 'the nature is more beautiful'. Also add 'that' to complete the final clause. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense, use correct noun phrases, and use comparative forms with 'fresher' and 'more beautiful'.

× Uh, I sometimes I sometimes I sometimes relax with my friends and to go with names of friends, Uh, so you know, the benefits, uh, influence has grits or relax and.

✓ I sometimes relax with my friends and we go together. The benefits are that it helps me relax and reduces stress.

Errors: repeated phrases and unclear pronoun/subject use. Remove repetitions and use clear subjects: 'we' for the group. The original second clause is ungrammatical and unclear; rephrase to a clear statement about benefits. Suggestion: avoid repetition, use clear pronouns, and express benefits in simple, complete sentences.

× Yes, I see listening to music is relaxing because listening to music, uh what's the uh uh more Fe felt disappointed. Uh more time for people listening music is relaxing be uh.

✓ Yes, I think listening to music is relaxing because it helps people feel less disappointed. Many people find listening to music relaxing.

Errors: incorrect modal/verb use and unclear fragments. 'I see' is better as 'I think' for opinion; original contains fragments and nonstandard words ('more Fe'). Use present simple: 'listening to music is relaxing' and a clear reason: 'it helps people feel less disappointed'. Suggestion: form complete sentences, choose appropriate verbs for opinions ('think'), and state reasons clearly.

× Uh, I, I do, I go to the park and, uh, sit down with his face and, uh, relax in this park, uh, this air reference air nature, uh, and I'm most times relaxing at least walking.

✓ I go to the park, sit down and relax in the fresh air and nature. Most of the time I relax by walking.

Errors: pronoun mismatch ('his face' is incorrect), tense and word order issues, and awkward phrases ('this air reference air nature'). Use clear coordinated verbs: 'go', 'sit down', 'relax'. Replace 'his face' with nothing or 'face the view' if intended. Use 'fresh air and nature' and a clear sentence for how you relax: 'by walking'. Suggestion: simplify sentence structure, remove incorrect pronouns, and use natural collocations like 'fresh air' and 'relax by walking'.