Relax— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar (use past/present consistently). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details and a linking word. Avoid redundancy and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Recently I usually relax by hiking when I can afford it. For example, I often visit nearby mountains I haven't explored before because I enjoy the fresh air and views. If I have a tighter budget, I stay home and binge-watch a favorite series to unwind.

提案: Good structure and clear answers. Improve grammar and cohesion: use linking words (for example, when, if) and correct verb forms. Combine related ideas into one or two sentences to sound more natural.

例: I usually relax with my friends; for example, once a year we try different activities such as going to the beach, hiking, or staying at a hotel. If I'm alone, I prefer to treat myself to a massage to relax.

提案: Correct vocabulary and grammar (no plural 'musics'; fix word order). Combine into 2–3 sentences and give a specific reason or example. Avoid filler words and repetitions.

例: Yes, I find listening to music very relaxing. I often choose classic songs from the 1980s and 1990s because they feel nostalgic and have a calm melody that helps me unwind.

提案: Simplify sentences and correct phrases (use 'get' or 'have' a full-body massage rather than 'avail'). Be specific about effects and use linking words for clarity. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: When I want to relax, I usually go to a spa to have a full-body massage. I especially enjoy head massage and the therapist applying pressure to certain points, because it relieves tension and helps me sleep better.

× If I have a budget I will go hiking to some mountains that I have never been to, but if I have a limited budget, maybe I will stay at home and just binge watch my favorite series or replay my favorite anime.

✓ If I have the budget, I will go hiking in some mountains that I have never been to; but if I have a limited budget, I might stay at home and just binge-watch my favorite series or rewatch my favorite anime.

Uses future tense and modal choice: add the definite article 'the' before 'budget' for specificity, use 'in' or 'to' can be 'in' for mountains, use 'might' or 'may' instead of repeating 'will' to show uncertainty, hyphenate 'binge-watch', and use 'rewatch' rather than 'replay' for watching again. Also a semicolon or comma with conjunction improves sentence flow.

× I usually hang out and relax with my friends. Once a year we try different activities like go to the beach, hiking and just stay at a hotel. But if I am alone, I will treat myself for a massage.

✓ I usually hang out and relax with my friends. Once a year we try different activities like going to the beach, hiking, and staying at a hotel. But if I am alone, I will treat myself to a massage.

After 'like', use gerunds for parallel structure: 'going', 'hiking', 'staying'. Also use 'treat myself to a massage' (correct preposition) rather than 'for a massage'. Maintain commas for list items.

× Of course, yes. Actually listening to musics makes me feel relaxed. I usually want to listen classic old songs around 1980s or 1990s because very it's very nostalgic and calm.

✓ Of course. Actually, listening to music makes me feel relaxed. I usually like to listen to classic old songs from the 1980s or 1990s because they are very nostalgic and calming.

'Music' is uncountable, not 'musics'. Use 'like to listen to' or 'want to listen to' plus 'to'. Use 'from the 1980s/1990s' for decades and include the determiner 'the'. Correct subject-verb agreement: 'they are'. 'Calming' (adjective) better than 'calm' to describe effect. Remove extra 'yes' and fix word order.

× What I do when I want to relax is I will go to a spa and avail their whole body massage. Especially like when they massage my head and press some area where I can feel the pressure and the stress.

✓ When I want to relax, I go to a spa and get a full-body massage, especially when they massage my head and press areas where I can feel the pressure and release the stress.

Avoid redundant 'is I will'; use simple present 'I go' for habitual actions. 'Avail their whole body massage' is incorrect — use 'get a full-body massage'. Combine sentences for clarity and use plural 'areas' and 'release the stress' or 'relieve stress'. Maintain natural word order.