Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix tense/structure errors (e.g., "That's the only subject that I was interested in when I was a child" → awkward).

例: Yes, I do. I have loved science since childhood, and I am now majoring in electrical engineering, which is a branch of physics. As a result, practical experiments and circuit design are especially fascinating to me.

提案: Give a direct time reference, correct tense and avoid vague phrases. Use a linking word to add one concrete supporting detail about what you enjoyed. Fix grammar ("we had a subject called ") and limit to two or three sentences.

例: I started learning about science in primary school when we had a subject called "nature." At that time I enjoyed experiments and rarely missed class because I liked doing hands-on activities.

提案: Answer directly and use precise vocabulary. Replace informal phrases like "the best science ever" with specific reasons. Use linking words to explain why physics interests you and mention a concrete area (e.g., circuits, electromagnetism).

例: I find physics most interesting, especially electrical physics. For example, I enjoy studying circuits and electromagnetism at university because they explain how devices and motors work in real life.

提案: Use correct verb forms and give one or two specific examples of activities and outcomes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add linking words (e.g., "for example", "in particular") and avoid filler sounds like "umm."

例: I have entered several science competitions, especially in electrical engineering. For example, in high school I joined a robotics contest where my team built an autonomous robot that won second place.

提案: Be concise and grammatical. State your preference, then give a clear example of a program and what you learned. Avoid repetition and hesitations. Use linking words like "because" to explain the benefit.

例: Yes, I enjoy science TV programs because they show experiments clearly. For instance, I watched a show where a professor demonstrated chemistry experiments, and I learned practical techniques and scientific explanations.

提案: Answer directly and provide specific supporting details with accurate grammar. Avoid repetition and clarify ideas (e.g., school trips, weekend family visits). Use linking words ("for example", "also") and complete sentences.

例: Yes, many Chinese people visit science museums. For example, schools often organize field trips during term time, and families sometimes go on weekends to learn and enjoy interactive exhibits.

× That's the only subject that's that I'm interested when I was a child and now I'm majoring in electrical engineering and you know, that's a type of science and that's really interesting.

✓ That was the only subject I was interested in when I was a child, and now I'm majoring in electrical engineering, which is a branch of science and is really interesting.

Original sentence has redundant words ('that's that'), wrong tense sequence ('I'm interested when I was a child'), missing preposition ('interested in'), and run-on structure. Use past tense 'was interested' for childhood, include 'in' after 'interested', and split into clauses with commas and a relative clause for clarity; replace 'type of science' with 'branch of science' for natural phrasing.

× I think it's probably when I was in primary school, we have this subject code science or nature or something.

✓ I think it was probably when I was in primary school; we had a subject called Science or Nature or something.

Mixes present tense 'have' with past time 'when I was in primary school'. Use past tense 'had' and correct 'code' to 'called'. Also use a semicolon or comma to separate clauses. Maintain past reference throughout.

× I just forget about it.

✓ I just forgot about it.

Mismatch between present tense 'forget' and context referring to past memory; use past simple 'forgot'.

× So that's really interesting and I will not miss every classes at that time.

✓ So that was really interesting and I did not miss any classes at that time.

'Every classes' is incorrect: use 'any classes' or 'every class'. Tense should be past ('was', 'did not miss') to match the time reference.

× It's definitely the physics.

✓ It's definitely physics.

The definite article 'the' is unnecessary before academic subjects. Remove 'the' for natural English.

× And I learn a part of science physics right now, like the electrical part.

✓ And I'm studying the physics part related to electricity right now.

Use present continuous 'I'm studying' for ongoing actions. 'Learn a part of science physics' is awkward; rephrase to 'the physics part related to electricity' for clarity.

× I learned that in my university, and that's really interesting.

✓ I learned that at my university, and it was really interesting.

Use preposition 'at' with 'university'. If referring to a past impression, keep past tense 'was really interesting'. If still interesting now, keep present 'is'. Adjusted to past to match 'learned'.

× Well, I taken part in a lot of competitions about science, especially in the, umm, electrical area.

✓ Well, I took part in a lot of science competitions, especially in the electrical area.

'I taken part' is ungrammatical; correct past simple is 'I took part'. Also reword 'competitions about science' to 'science competitions' for natural phrasing.

× And, you know, that's really interesting.

✓ And, you know, that was really interesting.

Context refers to past participation; use past tense 'was' for consistency. Otherwise if referring generally, 'is' could be used; choose tense to match context.

× And I started that that when I was in high school and I take part in robot competition.

✓ I started that when I was in high school and I took part in a robot competition.

Remove duplicated 'that'. Maintain past tense: 'started' and 'took part'. Include article 'a' before 'robot competition'.

× Yeah, that's.

✓ Yeah, that's true.

Fragment 'that's.' is incomplete. Complete the thought with 'that's true' or rephrase to 'Yeah' alone.

× I used to watch programs that that is, that was a professor who is doing the experiment.

✓ I used to watch programs in which a professor was doing experiments.

Remove duplicated 'that'. Use 'used to' with past description: 'was doing' or 'was doing experiments'. 'In which' or 'where' replaces awkward 'that is, that was' structure; make plural 'experiments' for naturalness.

× I remember it. I I can learn a lot of things from him and I yeah.

✓ I remember it. I could learn a lot from him.

Redundant 'I I' and awkward tense/mood: after 'I remember it' referring to past TV shows, use past ability 'could learn' or 'learned'. Remove trailing filler 'and I yeah'.

× Yes, of course, schools regularly take them to the Science Museum for like social events, social events and they have to go there to add their scores.

✓ Yes, of course. Schools regularly take students to the science museum for school trips, and they often have to go there to add to their scores.

Original uses 'them' ambiguously; specify 'students'. Avoid repeating 'social events'. 'Science Museum' does not need capitals as a generic noun. 'To add their scores' is unclear; rephrase 'add to their scores'.

× And you know, at weekends, parents may take child to their to their.

✓ And, you know, at weekends parents may take their children there.

Use plural 'children' with 'parents' and proper object 'there'. Original repeats 'to their to their' and lacks correct noun form; fix pronoun agreement and remove repetition.