Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more direct with a concise topic sentence, correct minor grammar (e.g. "foundational to our knowledge"), and add one specific reason or short example. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I like science because it is foundational to our understanding of the world. For example, scientific discoveries explain everyday things like why seasons change and how medicines work.

提案: Begin with a clear direct answer (e.g. "I started in grade school"), use correct tense and clearer phrasing, and avoid vague or awkward expressions ("how the universe remained" is unclear). Add one concrete example of an early topic you learned.

例: I started learning science in grade school. We covered basic topics like the human body and simple physics — I remember learning about the digestive system and why objects fall to the ground.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and correct the terminology (astrology is not a science; say astronomy). Explain briefly why your interest shifted and provide a specific example of a biology topic you enjoy. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I used to be most interested in astronomy because I loved learning about planets and stars. Recently my interest has shifted to biology — for example, I'm fascinated by how cells and organs work together in the human body.

提案: Answer directly in first person and correct pronoun use. Start with a clear topic sentence and give a specific example of an infographic topic or experiment you did, describing what you learned or achieved.

例: I've created science infographics for school projects, researching topics like the water cycle and presenting key facts visually. I also enjoyed doing experiments, such as testing plant growth under different light conditions, which helped me apply what I learned.

提案: Use correct tense and a clear topic sentence (e.g. "I used to enjoy them, but not so much now"). Give a short reason for the change and an example of a program or subject you enjoyed.

例: I used to enjoy watching programs about the universe, especially documentaries about planets and stars. Lately I don't watch as many science videos because I have less free time, although I still watch an occasional astronomy documentary.

提案: Answer more directly and avoid making generalizations about a nationality you are not familiar with. If you lack knowledge, say so and offer a reasonable guess or personal observation. Provide one clear sentence with a brief reason or example.

例: I'm not sure about Chinese people in general, since I don't have direct experience with that. From my experience in the Philippines, many people enjoy visiting science museums to learn, so I would imagine it's similar in China, especially among families and students.

× Yes, I think it is an interesting topic because it is one of the foundational things of the knowledge that we have right now.

✓ Yes, I think it is an interesting topic because it is one of the foundational aspects of the knowledge we have right now.

Use of 'the' before 'knowledge' is unnecessary; 'knowledge' is uncountable and does not need 'the' here. Also 'things of the knowledge' is awkward; 'aspects of knowledge' is clearer. Suggestion: use uncountable noun correctly and choose a more precise noun (aspects).

× I think everyone, or at least most students learn about science in grade school and simple things such as how the universe remained or how things function are taught especially about the body.

✓ I think everyone, or at least most students, learned about science in grade school, and simple things such as how the universe works or how the body functions were taught.

The question asks 'When did you start to learn about science?' so past tense should be used. 'Learn' -> 'learned' and passive 'are taught' -> 'were taught'. 'How the universe remained' is incorrect; 'remained' is wrong verb, use 'works'. Ensure subject-verb agreement and consistent past tense. Add commas for clarity.

× Children back then were naturally drawn to how your body function.

✓ Children back then were naturally drawn to how the body functions.

Mixing 'your' (second person) with 'children' (third person) is inconsistent. Also 'function' needs third person singular 'functions'. Use 'the body' to generalize. Maintain past context with 'were' for 'drawn'.

× Before, the subject that is most interesting to me is astrology because I love learning about the universe and other planets.

✓ Before, the subject that was most interesting to me was astronomy because I loved learning about the universe and other planets.

The student refers to a past preference ('Before'), so verbs should be past: 'is' -> 'was', 'love' -> 'loved'. Also 'astrology' (study of horoscopes) is likely incorrect for scientific interest; 'astronomy' is the scientific study of the universe. Ensure tense consistency.

× Apart from that, I also am very fond of stars.

✓ Apart from that, I was also very fond of stars.

Continuing past context, change present 'am' to past 'was'. Maintain tense consistency when describing past preferences.

× But recently I have noticed that I am more drawn to biology, so learning things such as the body.

✓ But recently I have noticed that I am more drawn to biology, so I have been learning about things such as the body.

Sentence fragment 'learning things such as the body' lacks subject and tense clarity. Add 'I have been' to form present perfect continuous to reflect a recent and ongoing change. This fits 'recently'.

× He used to do infographics, so we research a lot about the specific topic that we had to create an infographic about.

✓ I used to make infographics, so we researched a lot about the specific topics that we had to create infographics about.

Pronoun 'He' is inconsistent with speaker; should be 'I'. 'Do infographics' is informal; 'make' or 'create infographics' is better. Tense consistency: 'used to' (past) requires past 'researched'. Plural agreement: 'topic' -> 'topics' and 'infographic' -> 'infographics' to match plural 'we'. Avoid ending with repetitive 'about'.

× But the most interesting is experiments because you can actually do and apply what you were taught.

✓ But the most interesting were experiments because you could actually do and apply what you were taught.

Context refers to past activities, so change 'is' to 'were' and 'you can' to 'you could' for past reference. Maintain 'what you were taught' as past perfect/past passive is fine.

× Back then I love watching about the universe, so anything related to astronomy is very interesting to me, but nowadays I feel like I'm not as drawn to science videos as much as before.

✓ Back then I loved watching programs about the universe, so anything related to astronomy was very interesting to me, but nowadays I feel like I'm not as drawn to science videos as I was before.

'Back then' indicates past: change 'love' -> 'loved' and 'is' -> 'was'. 'Watching about the universe' is ungrammatical; use 'watching programs about the universe'. Compare present and past: add 'as I was before' for clear comparison.

× As a Filipino, I think everyone is drawn to science. However, Chinese people in particular are not familiar to me, especially with how they like science.

✓ As a Filipino, I think people are generally drawn to science. However, Chinese people in particular are not familiar to me, especially regarding whether they like science.

'Everyone' after 'As a Filipino' is too broad; 'people' is more appropriate. 'Not familiar to me' is awkward; better 'not familiar to me' is acceptable but follow with 'especially regarding whether they like science' to clarify meaning. Original sentence mixes ideas and uses 'how they like science' wrongly; clarify intention.

× However, I do know that they are drawn to learning.

✓ However, I do know that they are drawn to learning.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no correction needed. Included for completeness.