Science— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Réduisez les répétitions et organisez la réponse en une ou deux phrases claires. Commencez par une phrase thème directe, puis ajoutez un détail précis (par exemple votre spécialité et pourquoi vous l'aimez). Évitez les hésitations et la structure maladroite (‘practicing it as a job’).

例: Yes, I enjoy science. I recently graduated as a medical biologist, and I like it because it allows me to study human health and work in laboratories solving real problems.

提案: Supprimez les hésitations et fournissez une chronologie précise. Donnez une phrase d'ouverture claire puis un exemple concret d'une matière ou d'une activité scolaire qui vous a marqué.

例: I started learning about science in primary school. I clearly remember biology lessons where we learned about how the human body works and simple experiments about plants.

提案: Corrigez les erreurs de vocabulaire et terminez vos idées. Utilisez un vocabulaire précis («haematology» ou «hematology», «cellular biology») et une structure: énoncez le sujet puis expliquez pourquoi en une phrase supplémentaire. Évitez les répétitions et les coupures de phrase.

例: At university I found haematology and cellular biology most interesting because haematology focuses on blood diseases and cellular biology explains how cells function and interact, which is essential for medical research.

提案: Clarifiez ce que vous avez fait et utilisez des termes corrects. Présentez d'abord votre réalisation (thèse, projet de fin d'études), puis décrivez le sujet précisément (objectif, méthodes ou résultats). Évitez les erreurs grammaticales et les formulations confuses.

例: The most interesting project I completed was my graduation research, which examined how zoonotic infections from cats and dogs can affect children's immune responses. I conducted literature reviews and basic laboratory tests to investigate transmission routes.

提案: Soyez plus concis et corrigez la phrase maladroite «expand more than knowledge». Donnez une raison claire et un exemple précis d'un livre ou d'un article que vous avez aimé pour étayer votre opinion.

例: I prefer reading scientific books and articles to watching TV programs because reading gives more depth. For example, I enjoy journal reviews that explain recent research in detail.

提案: Évitez les généralisations et les stéréotypes. Répondez directement en reconnaissant votre incertitude puis proposez une raison plausible basée sur faits (éducation, politiques culturelles). Formulez clairement et évitez les adjectifs vagues comme «smart and intelligent».

例: I'm not sure, but I suspect many Chinese people visit science museums because STEM education is strongly promoted in schools, and museums often host interactive exhibits for children and families.

× Yes, I really like science, that's why I'm practicing it as a job because I've been lately graduated from the High School of Technology and Science as a medical biologist, so science is part of my job.

✓ Yes, I really like science; that's why I am practicing it as a job because I recently graduated from the High School of Technology and Science as a medical biologist, so science is part of my work.

The original sentence misuses 'I've been lately graduated' which is incorrect for expressing a recent graduation. Use 'I recently graduated' (simple past) or 'I have recently graduated' (present perfect) depending on context; 'recently graduated' is more natural here. Also 'practicing it as a job' is awkward; 'practicing' suggests a skill whereas 'working in it' or 'practicing it as a profession' is clearer. 'Job' replaced with 'work' for natural collocation. Use of semicolon or conjunction helps join clauses correctly.

× Since my childhood, I think in primary school we have like, umm, uh, lessons of biology, how the body functions, and umm, some lessons about nature, science in general.

✓ Since my childhood, I think in primary school we had lessons in biology about how the body functions, and some lessons about nature and science in general.

Use past tense 'had' because the speaker refers to past schooling. Use the preposition 'lessons in biology' rather than 'lessons of biology'. Remove filler words for clarity. Use 'about' to link topics.

× In university, the most interesting science science subjects that I've been taught are ematology, which is the science which discovers the blood. Also, uh, cellular biology, which is the science which deals with the.

✓ At university, the most interesting science subjects I was taught were hematology, which studies blood, and cellular biology, which studies cells.

Use 'At university' and past tense 'I was taught' for past education. Avoid repetition 'science science'. 'Hematology' spelling corrected and described with 'studies blood' rather than 'discovers the blood'. 'Which deals with the' was incomplete; complete as 'which studies cells'. Use plural 'subjects' matching 'were' for subject-verb agreement.

× The most interesting thing that I've done with science is my graduation from university. Uh, I, uh, I've don't research talking about senior capabilities in children, which is very interesting topic talking about like infectious diseases from cats and dogs.

✓ The most interesting thing I did with science was graduating from university. I conducted research about sensory capabilities in children, which was a very interesting topic; I also looked at infectious diseases transmitted from cats and dogs.

Use 'did' and 'was graduating' or simply 'was graduating' replaced by 'was graduating' is awkward; 'did' with 'was' corrected to 'did' and 'was' for past events. 'I've don't research' is ungrammatical; correct to 'I conducted research'. 'Senior capabilities' likely intended 'sensory capabilities'. Clarify 'infectious diseases transmitted from cats and dogs'. Use past tense for completed actions.

× I'm not so into TV programs for sciences. I really like reading books and scientific articles more than watching it on TV. Uh, because reading can expand more than knowledge. Uh, more than watching? I think so.

✓ I'm not very into science TV programs. I prefer reading books and scientific articles to watching programs on TV because reading can expand knowledge more than watching can.

Use 'science TV programs' rather than 'TV programs for sciences'. Use 'prefer X to Y' structure instead of 'more than'. Replace singular pronoun 'it' with 'programs' or 'watching programs'. 'Expand more than knowledge' is incorrect order; use 'expand knowledge more than watching can'.

× I don't really know a lot about Chinese people, but I think that science is part of their culture because they are so smart and intelligent. So I think that they might visit scientific museums, which is a very interesting thing to be more curved.

✓ I don't know much about all Chinese people, but I think science is an important part of their culture. They often value education, so they might visit science museums, which is an interesting way to become more curious.

Avoid overgeneralization 'they are so smart and intelligent' about a whole nationality; rephrase more cautiously. Use 'science museums' or 'science museums' rather than 'scientific museums'. 'To be more curved' is incorrect; likely intended 'more curious' or 'more informed'. Use 'become more curious' for correct meaning and collocation.