Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and repetition, and give one specific example. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes. My grandmother encouraged me to share because she believed it showed kindness and generosity. For example, I often brought extra snacks to school and shared them with classmates, which helped me make friends.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence, reduce filler words, and give a specific example and a reason using a linking word like 'because' or 'so'.

例: I usually share food with others because it’s an easy way to connect and introduce people to my culture. For instance, I often bring homemade snacks to gatherings so strangers feel comfortable starting conversations.

提案: Answer directly, avoid hesitation, and be specific with correct vocabulary. Use linking words to list examples and finish the sentence fully.

例: I think personal items and information are not suitable for sharing. For example, I wouldn’t share my toothbrush or personal documents because they are private and unhygienic to lend.

提案: State the main point clearly, remove repetitions, and use correct verb forms. Add a brief specific detail about the resources and the benefit.

例: Yes. I recently found an easy way to learn English online, so I shared a website and an app with a close friend. She found the lessons very helpful for improving her vocabulary and pronunciation.

提案: Start with a concise topic sentence, reduce fillers, and give a short reason with a linking word. Include a brief example of a time you shared news.

例: I would tell my younger sister first because we are very close and she always supports me. For example, when I got a scholarship, I called her first to celebrate and she was very excited.

提案: Answer directly, avoid filler words and repetition, and organize ideas with linking words like 'and' or 'but'. Be specific about what advice you give and why it matters.

例: I usually share everyday news about my family, work, or personal life with friends. But when someone has a problem, I give practical advice—such as time-management tips for work—which helps strengthen our friendship.

× my grandma always had some advices and uh, she told me sharing is caring and sharing shows uh people's kindness and generosity.

✓ my grandma always gave me some advice, and she told me 'sharing is caring' and that sharing shows people's kindness and generosity.

'Advice' is an uncountable noun in English and should not be pluralized as 'advices'. Also 'had' is awkward here; 'gave me some advice' better reflects receiving guidance. Quoted proverb 'sharing is caring' is reported, so include 'that' to introduce the explanation.

× I used to share my snacks with my friends.

✓ I used to share my snacks with my friends.

This sentence is correct for describing a habitual past action, so no change is needed.

× I would like to share food with others because I like to make people familiar with my uh, taste and also I can say it's an easy way to connect with uh, strangers and others.

✓ I like to share food with others because I want people to become familiar with my taste, and I can say it's an easy way to connect with strangers.

'Would like' implies a polite desire; here speaking about a general habit, present simple 'I like' is appropriate. 'Make people familiar with my taste' is unnatural; 'want people to become familiar with my taste' is clearer. Remove redundant 'and others' and extra hesitations.

× Uh, I don't like to share my private, uh, stuffs.

✓ Uh, I don't like to share my private stuff.

'Stuff' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized as 'stuffs'. Use 'stuff' or 'belongings'.

× I believe I should umm, keep my private information as a secret and also I do not share my private belongings like my tower or toothbrush and.

✓ I believe I should keep my private information secret, and I do not share my private belongings, like my towel or toothbrush.

Do not use 'as a secret'—use 'secret' without article. 'Tower' is likely a misspelling of 'towel'. Remove trailing 'and'. Also use commas to separate clauses.

× Yes, I find an easy way to learn English.

✓ Yes, I found an easy way to learn English.

The question asks 'Do you have anything to share with others recently?' referring to recent past, so past simple 'found' is appropriate. If still relevant now, 'I have found' (present perfect) is also possible.

× I have access to some great resources and I told them and shared them with my close friend.

✓ I have access to some great resources, and I told and shared them with my close friend.

Sentence structure: 'told them and shared them' is acceptable but 'told them and shared them' with clearer object placement is better. Use comma before 'and'. Alternatively use 'I told my close friend about them and shared them with her.'

× She was really grateful and find founded so beneficial and helpful.

✓ She was really grateful and found them to be so beneficial and helpful.

Verb forms are incorrect: 'find founded' is incorrect. The correct past tense is 'found' to match 'was'. Also include object 'them' referring to resources and 'to be' for clarity.

× The first person I will share my news, especially my good and positive news, is my younger sister because uh, we have a close relationship together and she's always there for me and support me and I also like to see her reaction.

✓ The first person I will share my news with, especially my good news, is my younger sister because we have a close relationship, she's always there for me and supports me, and I also like to see her reaction.

Add preposition 'with' after 'share my news'. 'Good and positive' is redundant—use 'good'. Subject-verb agreement: 'she supports me' not 'support me'. Remove duplicate words and unnecessary hesitations.

× And sometimes I I share news about my family and my daily life or about my workplace.

✓ Sometimes I share news about my family, my daily life, or my workplace.

Do not start with unnecessary 'And'. Remove duplicate 'I'. Use commas to list items and parallel structure.

× But umm when we are serious about issues and problems, I always share some advices It's and they make us so close.

✓ But when we are serious about issues or problems, I always share some advice, and it brings us closer.

'Advices' is incorrect; use uncountable 'advice' or 'pieces of advice'. 'Issues and problems' is repetitive; use 'issues or problems'. 'Make us so close' should be 'brings us closer'. Also fix punctuation and remove filler words.