Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Bạn trả lời trực tiếp nhưng có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp, phát âm ý chưa rõ và nội dung lặp lại. Cần: 1) Sử dụng câu chủ đề rõ ràng (Yes, my parents taught me to share), 2) Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (parents -> parents, teach -> taught, sons/girls -> sons and daughters), 3) Tránh lặp từ và nói rõ ví dụ cụ thể (ví dụ: chia đồ chơi hoặc thức ăn), 4) Giữ độ dài tối đa 3-4 câu, dùng liên từ để mạch lạc.

例: Yes, my parents taught me to share when I was a child. For example, they encouraged me to share toys and snacks with my brothers and cousins. This taught me to communicate kindly and consider others’ needs.

提案: Câu trả lời chung chung, có nhiều từ không chính xác (ceremony, make up things) và ngắt quãng. Cần: 1) Trả lời trực tiếp (I like to share...), 2) Liệt kê cụ thể và phù hợp (food, books, advice), 3) Giải thích lý do với liên từ (because/so), 4) Tránh tiếng lắp và giữ câu ngắn gọn.

例: I usually like to share food and useful items like books or stationery with friends. I also share advice when someone asks because I want to be helpful and supportive.

提案: Ý chính tốt nhưng diễn đạt lung tung và lỗi ngữ pháp. Cần: 1) Nói rõ quan điểm (I think opinions are sensitive), 2) Giải thích lý do rõ ràng với linking words (because/so), 3) Dùng cấu trúc chính xác (it can lead to arguments and harm relationships), 4) Giữ 2-3 câu súc tích.

例: I think personal opinions can be unsuitable to share sometimes because they may lead to arguments. If people don’t communicate carefully, disagreements could damage relationships.

提案: Trả lời thiếu rõ ràng, nhiều lặp lời và lỗi từ vựng (secretary/treasurer confusion, balance the diet?). Cần: 1) Trả lời cụ thể về sự kiện gần đây, 2) Dùng từ chính xác (I worked as a treasurer for a school club), 3) Giải thích khó khăn cụ thể (managing money, budgeting), 4) Tránh ấp úng và làm câu ngắn gọn.

例: Yes. Recently I shared my experience of working as a treasurer for my school club. I explained how managing the budget and tracking expenses was difficult but I learned a lot about responsibility.

提案: Đáp án rõ ràng, nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp và một câu không hợp lý (give me some income). Cần: 1) Dùng thì và đại từ đúng (she understands me), 2) Giải thích lý do ngắn gọn (she supports me), 3) Loại bỏ thông tin không phù hợp, 4) Giữ 2 câu tối đa.

例: I would tell my best friend first because she understands me and always supports me. I want to share my happiness with her and get her encouragement.

提案: Ý tốt nhưng diễn đạt vụng về và có lỗi ngữ pháp (scores, goals, planned achievements). Cần: 1) Liệt kê cụ thể (exam results, goals, plans), 2) Nói rõ lợi ích (advice and encouragement boost my confidence), 3) Dùng linking words để mạch lạc, 4) Giữ 2-3 câu.

例: I usually share exam results, personal goals and future plans with my friends. They give me advice and encouragement, which helps boost my confidence.

× Of course, yes, I think most parent in the world right now always teach their son or their girls to how to share with others and also me.

✓ Of course. I think most parents in the world teach their sons and daughters how to share with others, including me.

'Parent' should be plural 'parents' to match 'most'. 'Son or their girls' is inconsistent and should be 'sons and daughters'. Remove unnecessary 'to' before 'how to share'. Use present simple 'teach' for habitual action. Use 'including me' instead of 'and also me' for natural phrasing.

× For example, my parents are always teaching me to share with my brothers and also my grandparents and so that I think Seren is such a good way to communicate in.

✓ For example, my parents always teach me to share with my brothers and grandparents, and I think sharing is a good way to communicate.

Avoid 'are always teaching' here; simple present 'always teach' is more natural for habitual actions. 'Also my grandparents' should be 'and grandparents'. 'So that I think Seren' contains pronoun/word errors: 'Seren' likely intended 'sharing'. Remove 'in' at the end. Make sentence concise.

× So I think I could share everything that I can share to others like for example I can share food, snacks or ceremony or like make up things.

✓ I think I can share many things with others, for example food, snacks, or cosmetics.

Use 'share with others' not 'share to others'. 'Could' is unnecessary; use 'can'. 'Ceremony' and 'make up things' are incorrect --- 'ceremony' doesn't fit; 'make up things' should be 'cosmetics' or 'makeup'. Simplify the structure.

× Because I think when they ask me for help umm they already like need help a lot so I will the people help them.

✓ When they ask me for help and really need it, I will help them.

Original sentence has poor structure and extra filler words. Use 'and really need it' to clarify 'need help a lot'. 'I will the people help them' is ungrammatical; correct to 'I will help them'.

× So from my perspective I think the most difficult to share is that sharing opinion because it can take many argument then and also it will broken the relationship if we don't have like a good communication as as well.

✓ From my perspective, the most difficult thing to share is opinions, because they can cause many arguments and may break relationships if we don't have good communication.

Use 'the most difficult thing to share' or 'sharing opinions'. 'Sharing opinion' should be plural 'opinions'. 'Take many argument' should be 'cause many arguments'. 'It will broken' incorrect verb form; use 'may break'. Remove redundant fillers 'like' and duplicate 'as'.

× Yes, umm, I want to share the others recently. It's about a time that I have work at a secretary for a club at my school and I was like, I was balance the diet a lot because I was a treasurer and I want to share that because umm, it had a lot of difficult to me and.

✓ Yes. Recently I wanted to share an experience. I worked as a secretary for a club at my school. I struggled a lot managing the finances because I was the treasurer, and it was very difficult for me.

Tense mismatches: use past tense 'wanted', 'worked', 'struggled' for past events. 'Have work' is incorrect; use 'worked'. 'I was balance the diet' makes no sense in context; likely 'balancing the budget' or 'managing finances' is intended. 'It had a lot of difficult to me' should be 'it was very difficult for me'.

× Definitely I would say that my best friend is the first person I would share the news with because she is the one who understand most and also I really want to like happy at with her when I have a good news or something like that and also she's can give me some income.

✓ Definitely, my best friend is the first person I would share good news with because she understands me best. I want to be happy with her when I have good news, and she can give me advice and support.

Use 'understands' (third person singular). Remove extraneous 'would say that'. 'A good news' incorrect article; use 'good news' (uncountable). 'She's can' is ungrammatical; use 'she can'. 'Some income' doesn't fit; likely meant 'advice and support'.

× So I usually share my personal views, especially the scores, the goal and my planned achievement.

✓ I usually share my personal views, especially about my scores, goals, and planned achievements.

Use plural forms 'scores, goals, achievements' and preposition 'about' to clarify 'share ... about'. 'Planned achievement' should be plural or 'planned achievement' singular with article; better to use plural.

× I think she is such a good person that can give me more like a advice and encouragement.

✓ I think she is a very kind person who gives me helpful advice and encouragement.

'Such a good person that can give me more like a advice' is awkward. Use 'a very kind person who gives me helpful advice and encouragement.' 'Advice' is uncountable, so remove 'a'.

× And also that's advice and encouragement can enhance me a lot to be more confident and just.

✓ Also, that advice and encouragement have helped me become much more confident.

'That's advice' incorrect demonstrative; use 'that advice'. 'Can enhance me' is unnatural — use 'have helped me become'. Remove trailing 'and just' which is incomplete.