Sharing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答总体表达了观点，但存在语法错误、重复和冗长。应使用更简洁且语法正确的句子，控制在最多五句，使用连词如“so”或“because”使逻辑更清楚，并提供一个具体例子说明父母如何教你分享。

例: Yes. My parents taught me to share from an early age because they wanted me to be helpful and outgoing. For example, they encouraged me to offer my toys to neighbors during playdates so I could make friends more easily.

提案: 内容不清晰且有明显错误（如“snakes”应为“snacks”），时态和动词形式不一致。回答应直接说明现在或过去喜欢分享的物品，并给出具体场景，使用连接词（for example, often, sometimes）使表述连贯。

例: At school I often shared snacks and stationery with my classmates. For example, if a friend forgot a pencil, I would lend them mine so they could finish their work.

提案: 观点明确但句子结构和用词不自然，存在语法错误。应直接说出不适合分享的具体事物，并说明原因，使用连接词如“because”或“so”来解释后果，语言更准确。

例: I wouldn't share exam answers because cheating is unfair and can harm both your learning and others'. It can also lead to serious consequences at school.

提案: 回答中出现严重词汇错误（如“cheating”应为“chicken”），并且语言冗余、结构混乱。应用一句主题句交代时间和物品，然后简短描述与谁分享并反应对方感受，注意用词准确。

例: Yes. Yesterday I bought a bucket of chicken at KFC and shared it with my brothers and sisters. They really enjoyed it, and we had a fun time eating together.

提案: 回答表达了对象和原因，但用词和句子结构混乱（如“clothes person”不合适，代词错误）。应明确说出原因并提供具体细节，保持句子简洁并注意代词一致性。

例: I would tell my mother first because I live with her and she understands the effort I put into my goals. She always supports me, so she is the person who celebrates my successes most sincerely.

提案: 表达不够自然，存在重复、代词错误和语法问题。应直接列举会与朋友分享的具体类型的消息，使用连接词（for example, like, such as）并注意动词时态与形式。控制在两到三句内。

例: I usually share everyday news with my friends, like new clothes I've bought, interesting movies I've seen, or delicious restaurants I've tried. We often trade recommendations and opinions about these things.

× When I was a kid, my parents used to teach me to share with my friends because they think this is a very important way to make me to be a helpful and outgoing person and this also can help me to make a lot of friends.

✓ When I was a kid, my parents used to teach me to share with my friends because they thought this was a very important way to make me a helpful and outgoing person, and this could also help me make a lot of friends.

原句时态混乱：句首用过去时“used to teach”，后半却用现在时“think/this is/this also can”。应把后半统一为过去或与上下文一致的过去表达，且去掉多余的不定式“to be”和多余的“to”搭配。建议将动词改为过去时并用情态动词could表示可能性。

× When I was a kid in the school, I used to share some snakes and other food with my classmates and sometimes I also share my pencils to them.

✓ When I was a kid at school, I used to share some snacks and other food with my classmates, and sometimes I also shared my pencils with them.

原句中’snakes'为拼写错误，应为'snacks'；介词搭配错误用'in the school'应为'at school'；前后时态不一致（used to 与现在时 share 混用），应统一为过去时'shared'；动词搭配为'share ... with someone'，不能用'share ... to someone'。

× If they don't have a pen, I think it's a good way to make.

✓ If they didn't have a pen, I thought it was a good thing to do.

句子时态与上下文（过去）不一致，应使用过去时；原句结尾的'make'用法不当，缺少宾语且词义不合，改为'a good thing to do'更自然。注意条件句中时态应与上下文保持一致。

× I think is the answers about our examination, because I think share the answers with my classmates is not a good way.

✓ I think the answers to our examinations are not something we should share with classmates, because sharing answers with my classmates isn't a good idea.

原句结构混乱，缺主语或冠词使用不当（'I think is the answers'缺主语结构），应重构为完整句子；同时将动名词'sharing'或动词不定式表达替换为更自然的' sharing ... isn't a good idea'；注意冠词和复数形式'examinations'或单数'examination'的一致性。

× Maybe it will make them to be worse.

✓ Maybe it would make them do worse.

原句未来时'will'与上下文（过去）不符，应用条件式'would'；'make them to be worse'搭配错误，正确结构为'make somebody do something'，且'worse'前不加'be'。

× Yes, definitely. Yesterday I bought a lot of cheating in KFC, so I shared it with my sisters and my brothers.

✓ Yes, definitely. Yesterday I bought a lot of chicken at KFC, so I shared it with my sisters and brothers.

原句'cheating'为拼写错误，应为'chicken'；介词搭配' at KFC'比'in KFC'更自然；'my sisters and my brothers'可简化为'my sisters and brothers'；代词一致性：'a lot of chicken ... so I shared it'中的'it'对应可数/不可数要一致，chicken作不可数或复数时可用'them'或省略代词，改为直接结构更清晰。

× All of them liked eating this chicken, all of us.

✓ All of them liked eating the chicken; we all did.

原句末尾'the all of us'结构不自然，造成重复。将句子拆分并用正确的代词和动词一致性表达（we all did）更符合英语习惯。

× I'd like to share good news with my mother because she is my clothes person with me and I lived with her so she knows all efforts I have made and if I got good news to her he will be happy.

✓ I'd like to share good news with my mother because she is the closest person to me and I live with her, so she knows all the efforts I have made, and if I tell her good news she will be happy.

原句中'clothes person'明显用词错误，应为'closest person'或'closest to me'；时态混用（lived过去与一般现在混用），应改为'I live with her'；'if I got good news to her he will be happy'代词和动词结构错误，应为'if I tell her good news, she will be happy'，注意主语代词一致性。

× Actually I I would let you share my daily life to my friends such as what beautiful clothes I have bought and what interesting movies I have watched and what delicious food I have eat and so on it made.

✓ Actually I would share my daily life with my friends, such as what beautiful clothes I have bought, what interesting movies I have watched, and what delicious food I have eaten, and so on.

原句人称和代词混乱（'I I would let you share my daily life to my friends'不合逻辑），应去掉多余'I'并改为'I would share ... with my friends'；动词搭配'share ... with'；'eat'的过去分词应为'eaten'；句末'and so on it made'无意义，应删除或用'and so on'结尾。